Now entering...

When perversity and irony are the foundations of your universe:

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You will always have a great coupon for a store when their stock sucks and they don't have anything you want.
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Anyone you are interested in will not be interested in you. Conversely, you will attract people whom you'd rather not have the attention of.
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When exercising for health, you will injure yourself.
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You will always remember to take care of any paperwork issues with a nearby and convenient establishment... when you do not have the paperwork in question.
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The day you forget your iPod/MP3 player/whatever-your-sanity-tool-is will be the day you most need it.
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You will always find something you want to buy when your credit is maxed out, you're over-budget, and broke.

When you have the funds to get it, they'll be out-of-stock.
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You will always get a flat tire when you don't have a spare or any sort of pump/repair gear.
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When you're pressed for time is when the traffic is bad or the speeding ticket happens. (that one happens even in a universe where perversity and irony don't rule)
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The more TV channels you have, the less there is of interesting programming.