The Federation is a' quivering in their jack-boots

SWEET RAPTOR JESUS YES!!!

BEST PITCH EVER for the SyFy channel planned reboot of "Blake's 7".

If they did this, it might not suck. Maybe.

Let's go fishing

I wanted to make a "rim job" joke, but this trailer is too goddamn awesome.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE!

Cry baby cry, make your mother sigh

One has to wonder what goes through the head of people who have loud dinner parties on a Monday night in an apartment building. Especially an apartment building near other apartment buildings and houses. And on a warm night when everyone's going to have their windows open.

It's almost like the dinner-party people want the shit beaten out of them with sticks.

It's a cry for help, really.

Nearly out of Aprilness

Not particularly liking this unusually-warm weather. Oh, it's making the bike ride in during the morning quite nice, but overall I'm not enjoying it. If it's this warm in freakin' April, how hot is it going to get in September?

I shudder to think.

---

Managed to scald my hand with boiling water yesterday. Now when any hot water touches my hand at all, it's like acid is getting poured on the scalded parts. Good times when I'm taking a hot shower.

---

Today's "Worst Case Scenario" calendar entry is about cockroaches:

• A cockroach can hold its breath for more than 30 minutes.
• A roach can live for a week without its head. Of course, there's entire swathes of humanity that can live without a brain for their entire lives, so color me unimpressed.
• Cockroaches need water and will die after a week without it. Given that humans tend to die after three days from dehydration... just... yeah. Another mark to you, roaches!
• Roaches have been around for hundreds of millions of years. And they ain't goin' anywhere.
• A cockroach can handle radiation equivalent to the radiation released from a detonated nuke.

Just in case you didn't already think those little fuckers were effectively indestructible...

Weeeeeekend

Nice weekend:

Friday: Discovered BevMo carries my current favorite beer. This may not be a good thing as far as my wallet is concerned.

Friday night was a wash. A tasty, tasty wash.

Saturday: Walked three miles to run an errand, then rode my bike for ten miles. Not bad, all said. I think I've got my bike working properly now.

Sunday: re-installed cabinet doors for family then learned how to make a classic mai tai. Time well-spent.

Allergies are haunting me this entire weekend. I am not looking forward to tomorrow.

Review: "Journey to the Center of the TARDIS"

Episode 10 of series 7 of "Doctor Who".

By this point, you know the drill. Switch off your brain and read at your own risk, for spoilers lie ahead.





























Still there? Invisotext (which is utterly useless if you're reading this on a handheld... sorry).






The Doctor and Clara are flying about, arguing about something inconsequential. Meanwhile, a spaceship heads through deep space looking for salvage. Since Ripley's shuttle wasn't about (see Aliens if you didn't get that ref) they find the TARDIS.

You see, the Doctor, anxious for Clara and the TARDIS to get along, has turned off all the defenses and set it in basic mode.

If you're going to ask questions about "why" at any point from here on out, you're best served by walking away from your electronic device and drinking several shots of your favorite liquor in succession.

Okay, back to the story. The salvagers are not exactly law-abiding. The magnetic tractor beam thingie they use on the TARDIS somehow damages it. They bring the TARDIS aboard and somehow the Doctor is outside when the three guys (one of whom is apparently some kind of android) try to get inside.

The Doctor persuades them to enter with him to help find Clara, who is still inside.

What did I say about questions? Stop. Just accept this. Move on.

Clara, meanwhile, is lost in the TARDIS and being stalked by some glowy-eyed growly thing.

She wanders about, finding an observatory, the swimming pool, and the library. There, she somehow finds a book on the Time War with the Doctor's name in it.

Okay, we'll stop and ask questions: so the TARDIS doesn't translate Gallifreyan writing for the Doctor's companions (according to "A Good Man Goes to War") so how does Clara read this book? Hell, who WROTE it? The Doctor? Why? And why just leave it out? And why put his name in there, if it's such a big goddamn mystery? Gah! I'm not listening to my own advice. Moving on.

After the growly things take out one of the salvage guys, they're reunited with Clara. Turns out one of the salvage guys - the "android" - really isn't an android, but the brother of the other two salvage guys. Don't ask 'cause it's largely irrelevant to the story and unnecessary information.

More flashy insides of the TARDIS, including its fuel source, the Eye of Harmony, a sun about to become a black hole and suspended in time. Kind of cool.

Turns out the glowy-eyed monsters are somehow Clara and the salvage guys, mysteriously killed but not killed by the Eye of Harmony and shifted in time to go back in the TARDIS and kill their past selves...

Seriously, don't ask questions. I agree. The plot is utterly nonsensical.

Turns out the engine blew up, but was frozen by the TARDIS. Um... okay... but Clara, who burned her hand on a mysterious device that appeared early in the ep, has the key: the Doctor can take some kind of device back in time and undo all this.

And he does, but not after telling Clara about her other incarnations. But she forgets this 'cause time is re-written. So... yeah.



"Journey to the Center of the TARDIS" is flashy and had lots of potential. Alas, it was squandered by the utter nonsensical writing and general ridiculousness. Smith and Coleman, who in the past seemed to have solid chemistry, feel forced together. I'm not really feeling the Clara-love. She still feels like a cypher and an object, and not a real, stand-alone person.

Overall, better than "The Bells of St. John" and "The Rings of Akahatten" (sp?) but only barely. EDIT: The inestimable Charlie Jane Anders does a brilliant write up on this ep. I think Charlie Jane is dead-on and recommend reading this article.

Review: Nitecore Sens Mini light

One of the three Nitecore lights currently offered on ThinkGeek, the Nitecore Mini boasts of 170 lumens and a runtime of about 14 hours on the included CR2 3 volt battery (it comes with two but only needs one to operate).

So, let's get to it:
Description: The light is small. It's a mere 57mm in length. Seriously, you could accidentally swallow the thing. I've seen pills bigger than this light.

Pros:

• It's damn bright. Held horizontal to the ground, it does seem to be 170 lumens or thereabouts.
• Held horizontal, it does fade to lower brightness (documentation says 20 lumens).
• It's presumably got a medium setting for a medium position between horizontal and vertical. It's too bright right now to tell if that's the case, but I assume it is.

Cons:

• Activation is done by twisting the head. I kind of hate that, 'cause lights like this tend to accidentally activate when in my pocket, killing the battery.

Overall, it's a nice little light. Wish it had a button control, then I'd love it, but for what it is, it's still pretty good.

The Paradigm has Shifted

Co-worker to me: "You have enabled synergy."

That's it. I've accomplished my goal. Time for the weekend.

Fried Day

• Funny, but not $42 worth of funny.
• $28 worth of good advice.
• In case there was any doubt Congress is a really just a bunch of douchebags.
• So very metal
• Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
• BBQ Fett. This is a thing.

rumblegrumbleyawn

Ever had one of those dreams that's so vivid and kind of wrong that you wake in a lousy mood and it colors your entire morning?

---

Breaking-in a pair of ECCO Remote shoes. I gotta say, I do love the ECCO brand. Minimal break-in period and pretty damn comfy. I took a pair of ECCO boots to Japan some years back during the winter. My feet were toasty and dry when the rest of me was freezing solid for a brief exposure to Kyoto's winter.

---

Read on... io9 was it? Well, read somewhere on the vastness of the Internet that J.J. Abrams commented on the "Lost" finale. As I understand it, he said that he deliberately didn't answer any of the questions "Lost" raised 'cause no answer would have satisfied.

...
Seriously, J.J.? That's your answer? You had no resolution or plan for your MacGuffins so it was all purgatory and bullshit?

Why am I surprised? Abrams and Ronald Moore must've gone to the same school of script-douchery.

---

Saw some Taiko drummers at the Cherry Blossom Festival in Japantown (S.F.) over the weekend. Damn but I gotta say that looks fun.

Views from the Hump

Full moon peeking through the fog's clouds this morning. That. That right there. That makes the entire morning worth it. Worth the bleary-eyed difficulty of getting out-of-bed. Worth fumbling about like a zombie. Worth the slipping gears on the bike.

---

OOOF! I am out-of-shape in a bad way with the bicycling.

My plan to bike every day this week might be a tad overly-ambitious.

Yes, I'm a wuss.

---

Hump Day. Halfway through the week (or will be in a few hours). Wednesday. Ye gods.

Mutterings from the balcony

First successful bike ride of 2013. Part of me wants to be proud of this accomplishment. The rest of me is really ashamed this is blog-post-worthy in my mind

---

Hello shady-looking dudes on bikes in the wee-hours of the morning, just casually lurking about in the shadows. Yes, I see you. No, I don't think I care to make your acquaintance at this time. Ta!

---

Remembering one's allergy meds counts as a win.

---

I can go from zero to nap in no seconds right now.

The Problem with Clara

This is spoiler-esque, potentially, if you haven't watched any of the second half of Series 7 of Doctor Who.

So be warned.

I'm not going to bother to invisotext this, as it's mostly ranting, but I'll add lots of annoying line breaks for anyone who hasn't seen "Hide" and previous eps.


































Yeah, okay.

The problem with Series 7 hasn't specifically been Clara, the Doctor's latest Companion, but she's certainly a major part of the problem.

So Amy Pond and Rory Williams (aka "The Ponds") were written out at the conclusion of "The Angels in Manhattan", leaving the Doctor with broken hearts. This was for no real reason that I can figure. I mean, the Doctor is a time traveler. He may not have been able yank them out of their being trapped in the past for some arbitrary and contrived reason (and, make no mistake, "Blink" proved that this was utterly and completely arbitrary and contrived), but he could still have jaunted back and said "hey there" and checked-in with them from time-to-time-to-time-to...

Instead, the Doctor goes into a sulk in the insanity that was "The Snowmen" (the Xmas special) and starts living on a cloud.

So, re-enter Clara. At first, she was a converted Dalek whom the Doctor chatted with but never saw as a human. This time, he meets her and she's a saucy barmaid who doubles as a proper nanny. Interesting and adventurous character. Instantly everyone loves her. That's good, 'cause the episode plot was utter, nonsensical rubbish. And then it ended with her dying.

And that's when everything goes straight to hell.

So the Doctor jumps the rails at the end of "The Snowmen" at that point. He becomes obsessed with Clara and the idea that she's died twice and returned so she must be out there somewhere, like some adolescent holy grail owed him.

And the entire series suddenly becomes a story of a time-and-space traveling stalker picking up some girl-slash-obsession-object.

Enter "The Bells of St. John", a story that has all the coherence of a room full of monkeys on acid using broken typewriters. I've gone into that in detail elsewhere and I won't rehash the entirety of my bile, but the story serves to introduce the "main" version of Clara - a 21st century computer illiterate woman who is cute but very, very bland. She lacks the clever and witty ability of her counterpart in "Asylum of the Daleks" and is nowhere near as adventurous and interesting as she was in "The Snowmen".

She isn't a character at this point. She's a cypher. A plot device. An object.

What annoys me is that the Doctor, who otherwise tends to have respect for his past companions, seems to treat Clara as an object. She's a mystery to be solved, not a traveling companion with whom he intends to enjoy his journeys.

And the Doctor suddenly bounces around like a true, psychotic lunatic in the writing Moffatt and Cross have offered thus far. I don't blame Neil Cross for this. It has the flavor of Moffatt meddling. He clearly has some overarcing plan that just isn't working.

The entire thing isn't working. Clara feels the TARDIS doesn't like her 'cause she can't re-enter in "The Rings of Akhaaten". Well, that could also be because the Doctor hasn't given her a TARDIS key.

That made sense until, in "Hide", the TARDIS actually manifests a particularly-bitchy holographic image to snipe at Clara.

Okay, I was so-so on the TARDIS having a manifested self in Neil Gaiman's "The Doctor's Wife" but this is getting ridiculous. If the TARDIS hates Clara so much, why let the Doctor find her in the first place? Or, if the TARDIS is suddenly chatty, why not tell the Doctor why the time machine's got such a distaste for the plucky-if-bland companion?

Oh, I'm sorry. That would make sense. Besides, the Doctor is too busy being a stalker.

Moffatt is trying very hard to do a number of things:

• Establish a mystery around Clara Oswin Oswald
• Make us like Clara
• Make the Doctor seem to have some compelling reason to investigate her

He layers this with references to the Doctor previously encountering her, but learning only that she's "normal" (except for suddenly getting never-again-referenced computer skills thanks to... oh nevermind). Oh, and the TARDIS doesn't like Clara so... big mystery there.

Moffatt hasn't bothered to seduce the audience with her. He's clubbing us over the head with this mystery and all of this contrived and forced bullshit. The only reason these eps are watchable at all is because Matt Smith and Jenna Louise Colman have a genuine chemistry and rapport. If the writers would just tone down this Moffatt-mystery-bullshit a lot and let us get to liking (or hating) Colman on our own, things will go a hell of a lot smoother. And stop, for the love of Rassilon, STOP this stalkery crap with the Doctor.

Just... stop.

Remember Rohwer

George Takei has a poignant piece on his memory of the Japanese internment camps. It's an excellent read and likely a lesson we, as Americans, should not forget about "us" vs. "them" arguments.

CISPA

The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, CISPA, is another one of those bullshit, Big Brother, attempts to bypass existing privacy laws and dump sensitive user data to government officials whenever they request such.

Seriously, has anyone read Orwell?

So it passed the House. No surprise there, given the inordinate number of ass-backwards monuments to stupidity that make up the majority.

It's on to the Senate. President Obama has threatened a veto, but given his track record (what with the claiming the right to kill U.S. citizens with drone strikes, detain people as "enemy combatants" without trial, and all that fun stuff), I wouldn't put any trust at all in that.

If this at all concerns you, I would suggest perhaps you check out the efforts of the EFF and the ACLU.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn

Sadness. The Helioslight Kickstarter has been canceled.

---

My souvenirs from the Cherry Blossom Festival in San Francisco were a sunburn, indigestion, and a DVD of the live-action Rurouni Kenshin movie.

And I even wore a hat that day. *sigh*

---

Topic. With this topic in mind, I ponder what marketers would do if they really knew how to market to me.

I can just taste their potential despair. It's like delicious candy.

I'm on "Rise of Empire", book two of the Riyria Revelations by Michael J. Sullivan.

Highbrow this ain't, but I'm sure enjoying it.

Review: "HIde"

Neil Cross's second "Doctor Who" episode, "Hide" aired today.

So, spoilers.





















































Still there?





Invisotext on. Highlight to read (sorry handheld readers): It's 1974 and in Caliban House, a scientist is hunting for ghosts with his psychic assistant.

The catch is that, thanks to the psychic assistant, the ghost is real.

In come the Doctor and Clara. The Doctor does his usual schtick. Turns out the scientist was a black-ops sort at some point in his past. Oh, and he's in love with his psychic assistant. And she's in love with him.

You know the story.

Turns out there's timey-whimey stuff going on. The Doctor, through judicious use of the TARDIS, figures out that the "ghost" is actually a trapped time traveler being menaced by something in a rapidly-collapsing bubble universe.

To rescue the time traveler, the psychic needs to use gear the Doctor sets up (including a blue crystal from Metabilis 3 - raise your hand if you get the reference).

Why not just fly the TARDIS into the pocket universe and save the time traveler? Well, apparently the TARDIS would lose all its power and be drained dry in a few minutes.

The Doctor jumps into the pocket universe to free the time traveler and does so, but gets trapped himself.

Clara, who has had issues getting along with the TARDIS, convinces it to fly into the pocket universe and save the Doctor.

Turns out the monster menacing everyone in the pocket universe is just trying to jump to "our" universe to be together with another monster living in Caliban house.

Don't ask.

So, "Hide" was a TREMENDOUS improvement over the abomination that was "The Rings of Akhaten". The chemistry between the scientist and his psychic assistant was solid (if a tad over-acted).

The mood and the pacing was strong. The story, while trite and cliche, didn't entirely suck.

There were still some horrible flaws:

• The Doctor remains very un-Doctor-like in how he's acting.
• The TARDIS doesn't like Clara and now talks to her? Huh?
• Since when can Clara fly the TARDIS?
• I thought going into the pocket universe would drain the TARDIS's power. So... how does Clara fly it there twice?
• The current version of Clara still lacks something to make her interesting. Everything feels forced with her.

Overall, an improvement but not fantastic. A C+.

Thoughts to end the week

So... yeah. When deciding to ride your bike for the first time in months, it pays to first verify that all the moving parts work.

This is best done when it's not dark and you're already en route.

The more you know...

Chechnyan bombing suspects?

So apparently the Boston suspects (who clearly have watched too many psychotic action movies) are Chechnyan?

Cold bastards, too. I guess footage has the fuckers watching their handiwork in Boston.

I hope we find out what the hell this is all about.

I'm feeling really bad for Sunil Tripathi, the college kid who was mis-identified as a suspect. This whole thing is fucking crazy.

Piling on the crazy

Sweet FSM but the news this week has been batshit nuts.

Boston. Good lord. Boston. I gotta say, the folks of Boston deserve props for determinedly remaining unbowed by the attack.

The news networks should be ashamed of how horribly they've handled coverage of what's going on, but let's face it: most news networks aren't used to providing actual, useful news. It's not like riding a bike and our major media networks are very out-of-shape in that regard.

The crime itself is horrifying beyond words but what's also appalling is the news attempts to puff up the story with nonsensical asides. For example, there's some Californians who ran in the race and were in no way, shape, or form injured. They were fortunate to have missed the attack by a good half hour.

So what does one network do? Interviews them ad nauseum for their point of view, as though they have anything substantive to add.

And then there's an explosion in a manure plant outside of Waco, Texas. A goddamn manure plant blew up. What. The. Hell?

And then the Senate decides to kill the gun control legislation. Yeah, thanks. They needed sixty votes for cloture, which was an insane goal with this psychotic Congress.

Oh, and then there's that Mississippi guy who was mailing out letters with Ricin powder in them. 'Cause... yeah. I dunno what that Brianiac was thinking.

Nice to see the world is adding some insanity toppings to the crazy ice cream it's eating.

Spewing out brain bits

A moment of recovery-related joy: I can finally do push-ups again.

Yeah, it's a small thing, but given how tweaked-out my shoulder has been for the last few months, I consider this a milestone. Still too-hosed to do martial arts class, alas.

---

When I was in college, my roommate at the time had an impressive collection of hats. Words fail me, if I must be honest.
I now find myself at a point in life when hats are becoming an obligatory (indeed, almost mandatory) fashion accessory. It dawned on me this morning as I was bringing a couple of hats in to store at the office that - while I have an impressive collection at this point in my life - I'm still never going to come close to matching my roommate's collection of that time.

No point. Just found that funny.

---

As months go, April is kind of dragging its metaphorical feet.

...

So... yeah.

Don't really have anything to add to the commentary regarding yesterday's insanity in Boston. They'll find whomever did it or they'll find someone to pin it on.

Hopefully the former.

No matter who did it, I expect we'll see more security theater and justifications for crazy surveillance powers.

I guess I did have something to add to the commentary. But that's it.

Review: The Cool Material "All Black" 34 Grams Pocket Knife

When my credit card billing cycle ended, I found myself doing a little therapeutic online shopping (I really have to stop doing that) and decided to add another sharp thing to my collection.

So I got the All Black 34 Grams Pocket Knife offered by Cool Material.

Nice little knife. Boasting of a 3-and-a-half-inch blade when open, it truly is all black. And it's very, very light. It comes sharp, though it could probably benefit from a little time on a sharpener, I expect.

My one complaint was that it was very, very tight out-of-the-box (wow... that sounds... wrong... every time I re-read that sentence. Moving on...). I had to make adjustments to get the blade to snap open a bit smoother.

And the adjustments are still a bit in-flux. I've accidentally put a hole in a bag by having the blade too loose. The point is very, very sharp.

All-in-all, a nice little blade. Certainly worth the sixty bucks and shipping.

Review: "Cold War"

The 8th episode of Series 7 of "Doctor Who" aired yesterday.

I am pleasantly surprised.

Spoilers (after a number of line-breaks... highlight text to view, unless you're on a remote device... then I dunno):
































































Still there?

Set aboard a Russian nuclear submarine in 1983, this episode is a bit of a call-back to the claustrophobic episodes of the 1970's. The sub is returning with something found in the ice. An over-eager sailor melts the ice to take a look and... something reaches out...

Flash forward. The sub is in disarray. That's when the TARDIS materializes. The Doctor and Clara exit, prepared for Vegas. Yeah. Not Vegas.

After Russians are pointing guns at the Doctor and Clara, the submarine, already sinking, sinks more. The TARDIS vorps away and everyone's trapped aboard a crippled sub with an Ice Warrior (last seen in the Jon Pertwee era).

The Ice Warrior, a famous general of his people, is disoriented and a bit pissed. When a panicked sailor incapacitates him, the Ice Warrior takes matters as a declaration of war.

Hilarity ensues.

Compared with the turds that were the last two episodes, "Cold War" was a solid story of semi-epic brilliance. Compared with the series as a whole, "Cold War" was pretty average. It had all the basics: "violence bad", "better to negotiate", "learn to show compassion". All the basic "Doctor Who" hallmarks.

The pacing was good and the guest characters were all reasonably-interesting (for "Russians" with very British accents).

Clara is still pretty vanilla to me. She's better in this episode, but still a bit vague when compared with her other incarnations. At least they're not focusing on the "mystery" of her in this, which is a welcome relief.

All said, it's restored my hope in the series a bit.

Hm..

Next time I'm hanging out at the home one of my geologist friends, I'll have to look and see if there's new trophies on the walls...

EDIT: His response:

Overreaction or Prophesy?

All this talk of the 50th anniversary special for "Doctor Who" is making me increasingly-nervous.

Moffatt claims he will reveal the Doctor's "biggest secret ever".

Given past history I'm expecting something soft and lumpy with a chocolate color that is most certainly not chocolate.

If I keep my expectations low, I can't possibly be disappointed, can I?

Right?

I'm going to be huddled under my desk if anyone needs me. Ignore the soft sobbing.

Can't let it go

I'm having a hard time getting past how uneven "The Rings of Akhatenn" was, so I've done a little reading up on the story writer: Neil Cross.

Apparently Cross is a huge "Doctor Who" fan and had never written an ep before now.

He's got another, "Hide", coming up. I dread it at the moment.

Re-watching this piece of crap, I have to admit the first 15 minutes or so are fine. And I have to admit I like the singing, despite myself.

And then it goes so very, very, very wrong...

Zombie Taskmaster

While perusing The Awesomer, I saw this: the Tactical Apocalypse Survival Kit (T.A.S.K.)

Reactions:

At first, I thought "Hey! More kits of cool things!". It's two hundred bucks and has a backpack with flashlight, axe, cheap knife, etc. All the things you want for the zombie apocalypse, except food, water, and a shotgun with a ton of ammo.

Then I thought: "Hey! I already have most of these things!"

I do and, all said, most of the individual components are probably better quality in the kits I've compiled over the years. This explains why my bags are so goddamn heavy and probably why my shoulder is hosed.

Then I thought: "Fire fighter battle axe? Seriously?"

The pandering to the prepper audience is a little heavy-handed. Probably works. Alas.

more 'cause why not?

Just snacked on some caramels. That was a mistake. The sugar is now buzzing through my blood. I really should get rid of these damn things.

---

It's supposed to be hot for April in the Bay Area today. Parts of the area should reach the mid-80's (Fahrenheit) which I'm not looking forward to.

---

I should have ridden my bike this morning. I was all set to, but the Bay Area got slammed with a windstorm on Monday and was still pretty windy yesterday. The wind kicked up enough pollen to bury a civilization. I was not looking forward to inhaling more on my ride in.

Besides, my shoulder is still hosed. I'm not sure the handlebar grips will do me any favors.

It's disturbing how easily I can justify being a slacker.

---

So far I've learned today that:

• I can't spell "Fahrenheit" without using spell-check.
• The hat I brought to wear today is not going to breathe very well when it's hot.
• The prescription allergy meds I'm using are still awesome.
• The ergonomic chair I have at my desk makes my shoulder injury feel worse. So much for ergonomics.

---

The consensus seems to be that "the Rings of Akawhateverthehell" was just a crappy WTF episode. Even my more forgiving "Doctor Who" fans from the office admit that the entire story made no sense whatsoever. The first 15 minutes were fine (if you ignore the barking), making it slightly better than "The Bells of St. John". Just.

And that bar is set pretty damn low.

Honestly, I haven't seen such bad writing for "Doctor Who" since the "Love and Monsters" episode from the RTD era. Though "Love and Monsters" isn't universally reviled. There's folks out there who love that abomination. I loathe that episode so much that I can't even engage in a sane dialog on the subject, so that's that.

Sneezing out thoughts... ew.

So apparently there's hate out there in the World Wide Weird for Anne Hathaway.

Why?

I just don't get that. She seems a solid enough actress.

---

Allergy meds? Check. Wednesday? Check. Load of caramels I shouldn't eat? Check. Extreme sleepiness? Check. Roman Emperor outfit? Ch... no... damnit. Oh well. Jeans and a t-shirt will have to do.

Release the lions!

---

Today's "Worst Case Scenario" calendar entry is "How to Drive Down a Flight of Stairs". About as useful as yesterday's "How to Fend Off a Shark". That is to say I find both quite useful and pray I never need either.

Sharks scare the crap out of me.

---

Spring cleaning. Trying to assemble old garments to donate to charity (or destroy if they look too shabby). Ye gods.

---

It's only Wednesday. I feel a sigh coming on.

Rinse and Repeat

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it", or so George Santayana apparently said.

Word, George.

I sure feel as though I'm not learning from my own past these days. I'm having one of those weeks/months/years in which I'm finding myself making a lot of the same mistakes I've made before. Over and over.

Guess I'm too easily distracted.

Was that a squirrel?

Shambling forth on a Monday morn

Damn but it's windy this morning! Woke me up, on and off, all night long. If I crack open a window at all, the window blows curtains all over the damn place.

I briefly considered trying to bike ride in this morning, but that idea's gone. It was enough fun driving my car in this wind.

---

Remembered allergy meds today. Yay!

---

Between public transportation delays and side-trips to local drinking holes, I'm now on page 449 of 649 in Theft of Swords, book 1 of the Riyria Revelations, by Michael J. Sullivan.

I'm loving it. It's not highbrow by any stretch of imagination, but it's solid entertainment. I'm going to have to get the entire series now.

---

Wow. My "Rings of Akhatenn" review got 37 views. Huh. That's an extraordinary number of hits for my modest little blog. Hope my views didn't offend anyone.

Review: The Rings of Akhatenn

EDIT: AAAAAHH!!!! BEWARE! HERE THERE BE SPOILERS!!!!

Apparently, my "invisotext" trick doesn't work on handhelds. SORRY!!!!! /EDIT

Series 7. Episode 7 of "Doctor Who".

Entitled "The Rings of Akhateen"... well... spoilers follow. Highlight to read (I'm trying a trick I can actually replicate):
















































If you asked me what the plot of "The Rings of Akhateen" was, I'd have to tell you I really, honestly, don't know.


Oh, sure, I can tell you what happened, but if there was a point to the story, I couldn't possibly tell you what it is.

The Doctor is still stalking Clara. FSM knows why. He watches Clara's parents get together (funny story, her father gets hit in the face by a leaf, nearly gets hit by a car, and gets saved by her mother. They save the leaf. This is important for some reason).

The Doctor has watched little Clara be born and watched Clara's mother's funeral. He's taken this stalking thing a bit too far.

Fast forward to 2013. He picks up Clara for a spin in the TARDIS. She asks to be taken somewhere cool, so he takes her to the Rings of Akhateen where aliens abound, the TARDIS translation circuit apparently doesn't work properly for Clara, people can breathe in space, and there's some desire by the aliens to sacrifice some little girl to a vampiric god.

Clara, having been inexplicably ditched by the Doctor, winds up helping a little girl who is running away from her people. Turns out she's the Queen of Ages and has to sing a lullaby to the sleeping god or everyone dies.

Needless to say, this goes badly. The god thing wakes up. At first it seems it's a raving monster, but no, it's really a planet sized skull face that eats "souls".

Don't ask.

So the Doctor gives up his memories to the alien god thing but inexplicably retains these memories he's given up and the god thing is unmoved and still ready to snack on everyone. So Clara pops in and offers up the leaf that hit her dad in the face, starting the chain of events that led to her birth.

She calls it the most important leaf in human history. I think the girl's sense of self-importance is a tad inflated. Sure, she's cute, but that's a bit extreme.

For whatever reason, the leaf makes the god thing implode.

There's no logical reason in the story that makes even a remote amount of sense.

Honestly, the entire story made no sense at all. I don't know why I'm bothering to review it.


There were a few good points:

The aliens were cool-ish. The throwaway reference to the Doctor's grand-daughter was cool. The fact that the TARDIS does not appear to like Clara is interesting.

Yeah, that's about it. I'm kind of stretching. This was pretty story but entirely cotton-candy. No substance at all.

There's too many bad points to list. A few highlights:

So the Sonic Screwdriver is powered by the Force. It can lift giant doors and deflect energy bolts from weird, masked, menacing beings. Oh, undefined and inexplicable alien threats are awesome when they're never explained at all. By which I mean they suck. And I hate to break it to anyone, but Clara isn't the center of the universe.



Seriously, Moff! If you have a mystery, you have to seduce the audience with it. Tease us a little and introduce it subtly. This whole Clara story is like some teenage virgins, drunk on cheap beer, getting it on in the back of a car. No seduction, just tawdry crap.


EDIT: I have a request to link to a reply to this post from a reader called "Papabear"./EDIT

Smatterings of Stuff

io9 has samples from the Doctor Who animated series that never was.

io9 (specifically Charlie Jane Anders) makes it sound like the animated series would have been a bad thing, but in that I completely disagree. An animated series would enable restoration of the "lost" episodes from the Hartnell and Troughton eras and expand the adventures of the earlier Doctors a bit.

I'm sad this wasn't given a "go". I mean, sure. They'd mess up continuity with new companions and childish, weird shit, but how would that be terribly different from the modern era of farting aliens and nonsensical plots?

Ouch. I still sound bitter

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They're going to re-do The Black Hole. This won't go well.

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Dear President Obama. Newsflash. You won the election. Why do you insist on bending over and doing what the Republicans want? Cutting Social Security? Seriously? You think chopping funds to retired folks on limited incomes is going to in any way be a good idea?

I suppose I'm not all that surprised.

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For years now I've been seeing this Self Defense night stand concept floating a bit. I swear this must be some kind of self-perpetuating joke as there never seems to be any kind of source to it.

Plus it's damn funny.

For four

If I were not a snob and were the sort of person who drank beer out of a can, I would require - nay DEMAND - one of these.

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Rain. Actual rain. Like a lot of it. Enough to require an umbrella and fear a little for my life on the freeway. This is a novel experience. It's been so long, I'd almost forgotten.

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I've been loaned a novel by a friend: Theft of Swords by Michael J. Sullivan.

It reads like an RPG campaign. I can't help but enjoy it. I'm on page 43 of 649 and this is part of a series. Apparently Sullivan self-published in ebooks this before getting picked up by a publisher for print copies.

While I'm enjoying it, I'm kind of mired in exposition at the moment. I'll probably have more to say when the plot starts to form.

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After jogging a few miles yesterday, I returned home and convinced myself that I needed to undo any health benefits gained from running by making dessert.

I've already pretty-much mastered the fine art of making angel food cake from scratch. While tasty, angel food cake is a little boring and it's a bugger to shoot those little Cherubs out of the sky, skin them, and... um... yeah. You don't want details.

So I went a little towards the Dark Side and made chocolate angel food cake. I needed the practice.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

The experiment was a success and I am pleased with the unhealthy results. It's not my first (or even tenth) time making such, but it's been a while. Good to know I've retained the skills.

I say, old chap

I am a snob and I need a monocle now.

Though I love Guinness and have a streak of Egalitarian in me.

If you live in California, drop everything and do this

Political bit. You were warned.

Ever wanted to know what monolithic marketing agencies actually have on you in their files?

The Right to Know Act requires companies to give users access to the personal data the company has stored on them-as well as a list of all the other companies with whom that original company has shared the users' personal data-when a user requests it. It would cover California residents and would apply to both offline and online companies.
I dunno about you, but I think this is LONG overdue and should be a nationwide thing.

To support it, go here. Sorry, but this is for California residents only.

/Political bit.

Mummy Dearest

I hate when an injury keeps me from doing the sorts of healthy recreational activites I enjoy. It's bad enough I have to hold off of martial arts (especially since I've already paid the damn non-refundable tuition) but that I can't ride my bike without experiencing problems is just damn insulting.

Getting old sucks.

Though, as I'm often told by older friends, it beats the alternative.

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Today's "Worst Case Scenario" lesson is "How to Kill a Mummy". In a nutshell, use fire. There's an addendum here that I wasn't aware of. I guess you're supposed to tear the heart out of the burned shell of the mummy, burn the heart separately (again?), then scatter the ashes in the desert sands.

I suppose it always pays to be thorough when dealing with the undead.

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So Zombie Tools has another blade in their list of offerings: the T'ai Fighter.

I love the names of their blades.

Until seeing this, I would swear that an Apokatana or a Zakasushi would be my next blade choice (if I ever have that much disposable income handy). Now the T'ai Fighter is neck-and-neck in my lust list.

The Apokatana is a smidge less than $400, before shipping. The Zakasushi is a drop less than $300, also before shipping. The T'ai Fighter is almost $330 (before shipping), putting it nicely between the two.

Want so badly...

Though I freely acknowledge that ain't happening for a good long while. I have to get savings built up, now that I don't have car payments. Plus need actual sundries that are more practical (new shoes, tuition, etc.).

I'll have to make due with my current supply of sharp objects, should zombies attack.

Random musings on Doctor Who

I haven't been terribly-subtle about my feelings regarding the direction Steven Moffatt is taking for "Doctor Who".

I'm not known for being subtle, so that's okay.

Moffatt's done some solid stuff, but those are mostly in his hand-crafted single episodes. "The Empty Child" was thrilling genius. The Library eps were genuinely creepy and clever with the addition of River Song (who is now very much overdone).

I maintain that "Blink" was a masterpiece and possibly one of the best episodes I've ever seen, both old and new series inclusive.

With all that said, Moffatt's story arcs suck ass.

The Pandorica arc was ridiculous beyond words for more reasons than I care to bother rehashing. The arc covering the Silence and the mystery of River Song was slightly better. The Silence (the aliens, not the movement) are awesomely-creepy. The Silence (the movement, not the aliens) is fairly ridiculous in both its goals and its inconsistent abilities.

And the entire backstory for River Song? Overdone and very ridiculous.

I mean...

making her a home-cooked Time Lady? Overdone.

(I finally Googled how to do the spoiler tags. Yay me.)
Okay, enough naysaying. I've said before that I'd love to see the Time Lords brought back in some form or another, and I think reintroducing them would help with a lot of the more contrived elements of Moffatt's story arcs.. A few thoughts:

• The Silence (the aliens) appear to have access to TARDIS like console thingies. Make them a creation from the Time War, or perhaps debased Time Lord Morlocks of some kind. That would explain how they perform their manipulations in the story arc and it would explain the entire premise behind the Pandorica story altogether.
• Perhaps a few other Time Lords survived and opted to withdraw into isolation. They fear/dislike the Doctor for his part in obliterating Gallifrey, but see a benefit to his wandering about and meddling. So they've been manipulating him. That would explain the shadowy beings that appear in the prequel "Webisodes" for getting the Doctor to go do things (like go to Skaro in "The Asylum of the Daleks") or the "woman in a shop" Clara interacted with off-screen.

Indeed, having two, disparate groups of Time Lord-esque factions mucking about behind-the-scenes makes the entirety of the Moffatt seasons a giant chess game with the Doctor as the main piece being used. It fits well in the "old series" mythology and it's the sort of dickish move even "good" Time Lords would pull off.

I don't know. I'm not saying I could do a better job than Moffatt has done, but as a fan, I can see an awful lot of room for improvement in the actual plot/storylines of the series.

EDIT: So Topless Robot ran this after I posted my musings. I more-or-less agree with it, FSM-help-me.

I feel obliged to excessively share my thoughts this morning

So now I have this awesome, breathable, Goorin Bros hat.

And I forget it when I leave for work.

I have to admit that part of it is timidity over the fashion change. I usually don't give a rat's ass what other people think of my fashion choices (or demonstration of a lack of fashion sense on my part) but every now and again I get twitchy.

Especially with hats. Funny how that is. I must be sensitive about it. I see folks wandering about wearing hats that seem - to me - to be odd and I immediately find I make some sort of judgment. I suppose I'm afraid of that same judgment being applied right back at me.

Which is funny, as it would probably be justified and if I thought about it, I probably wouldn't care.

That was sort of much ado about nothing, wasn't it?

I need more coffee.

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No rain today.

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Made muffins for myself for the week. And I forgot to add sugar.

Wow. Just... wow. Tasted like I imagine cardboard would taste. Only with blueberries.

Fools foolin' fully foolishly

Happy April 1.

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We have actual rain in the Bay Area this morning. Real rain. It actually woke me up this morning. That's a novel change.

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Bureaucracy is the purest, most sublime form of Hell on this Earth. Nothing says "fun" like trying to get reimbursed for medical expenses and learning I have to make a return trip to my provider and persuade them to fill out a goddamn form.

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I'm still irritated over "The Bells of St. John". It really should have been a better episode. Matt Smith's Doctor is solid, or was before the latest behavioral shift. Jenna Louise Coleman is great, or was on her previous appearances. The writing for the show seems more suited for attempting a romantic comedy than an actual science fiction program.

And "Doctor Who" is not a RomCom. It's a sin to try to make it such.

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Was a fun, if weird, weekend. Spent some time with geeks and made a new geek friend. I traveled to parts of the Bay Area I've not visited in many years.

I visited Goorin Brothers and actually broke down and bought a hat I can't really afford. I regret nothing?

I completely forgot it was Easter Sunday until I tried to go buy some stuff at Target and found them closed.

Yes, Target closes on Easter Sunday. Whodathunkit?