The Day is Humped

"Balance is zero."

Depending on context, that statement is either awesome or incredibly terrible.

When talking about money owed, it's goddamn AWESOME!!!!

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Lined up for PT. Whee. Nothing says fun like PT.

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Weird, bumpy, bizarre day.

Yet I can't complain about how it's ending so far.

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Successful final project: chocolate angel food cake. I declare it a tasty success that I probably shouldn't eat too much of.

Yeah. It's too late to claim that.

The Pen is Mighty!

What a weird day!

Yeah, you don't want to know. So instead I'm going to share the capper to my day.

I shall rewind a bit. Let us look back to the later part of 2012. It was November 2012 and I was not saving money for Xmas as I should have. I was instead lured by shiny, shiny things.

Things like Kickstarter offerings.

I'm a writer, both by profession and inclination, or so I often tell myself when I don't claim to possess super-powers and mad ninja skills.

As a writer, I possess a love of both writing instruments and notebooks. It's a thing with me. I love my Moleskine notebook and try to never be too far from it. I also carry at least two or three different pens on my person at any time (just in case one runs out of ink).

Yes, I know I'm OCD. Shut it.

So going back to Kickstarter. On one of the many blogs I peruse in my morning reading, I saw a post for the TiBolt, an all-titanium pen made in the good old U.S. of A. by knifemaker Brian Fellhoelter.

My interest was immediately piqued. (I really just wanted an excuse to use "piqued" in a sentence. Believe I'm a writer yet? Neither do I... *sigh*... moving on...)

I was a bit late in joining the Kickstarter and missed the early bird, but it turned out for the best. I put in for a regular TiBolt and today, after a day of consummate weirdness and crazy, it arrived to make my day so very much better.

PICS!



Okay, it's been established that my photography skills are seriously lacking. Still, it's an awesome pen. It's light (oh, so light) and the bolt-action is both smooth and weirdly-addictive. Okay, maybe it's not all that weird.

I've no idea when the pens go for sale to the general public. Probably best to peruse Mr. Fellhoelter's site for updates if the Kickstarter page doesn't have it.

Was it worth it? I mean, it's not a cheap pen, right?

Yes. Absolutely. Yes. SHINY!

Hump? What hump?

"Hump Day".

Always loved that nickname for Wednesday. Good that one day of the week is getting some action, I suppose.

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For a none-too-brief moment earlier this week, I thought my luck had gone completely sour when a rather large bill I paid seemed to have gone awry.

Just confirmed the check cleared. I feel a mixed sense of relief and joy.

And pain, 'cause my bank account is just about empty, but such is the way of things.

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I'm potentially adding a new and thrilling injury to my list of maladies. While I discovered said injury in martial arts, I'm not sure I can blame class for it. I have a sinking suspicion I acquired the injury another way and just exacerbated it in class.

Now I go through the joys of HMOs to work out the next step in treating this. Whee.

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February's just about gone. I'd say that was quick, but it's February. It's always quick. At least payday comes faster.

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Daylight Saving Time starts soon. I am meditating and focusing my rage for a proper tirade (or binger).

Things: Water Filters

Clean water is pretty much a necessity in life.

With climate change introducing all sorts of crazy into the world, forward-thinking sorts are doing their best to secure supplies of fresh water or working on technologies to purify existing water supplies.

Kinda makes paranoid types think ahead to how to handle one's own water needs.

For a few years, I've been looking at the Lifesaver bottles. I haven't gotten one yet. $230+ is not exactly pocket change, especially these days. Still, my bug-out-bag could always use a good water bottle. I've currently got a stainless steel water bottle and a Katadyn Pocket Water Filter taking up space.

Yes, I know the Katadyn is more expensive than the Lifesaver. Suffice it to say I took advantage of a sale and combined it with a gift card to take the "ouch" out of that little purchase, back in the day.

Now ThinkGeek has their own offering: The NDuR Advanced Portable Filtration Bottle.
For roughly forty bucks, they seem to claim functionality similar to the Katadyn and Lifesaver filters. Makes me wonder if this is a "too good to be true" scenario, though. I wonder what's involved in replacing the filter (if anything) after it hits the 100-ish galleon target.

Something to investigate, I suppose.

Eat Salt!

The weirdly-warm early-Spring-like weather has brought out the insect life. Little bastards.

Three blasts from my Bug-A-Salt made the experience more fun for me. Not so much for the bug.



I swear, it's a wonder my neighbors talk to me at all and don't just run away screaming.

Charting the Doctor

Via: CableTV.com
Genius. Just... genius (click to view properly).

Huh...

The Oscars were on last night?

Huh. Imagine that.

Yawn.

A little Monday muttering

Scotch, as a follow-up to a few pints of beer, is not a good idea.

Anyone with half a brain knows this. Many without needing to try it first.

Me no smart like that.

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Re-watched "The End of Time" (parts 1 and 2). That's the David Tennant farewell from "Doctor Who" when the 10th Doctor regenerates into the Eleventh (Matt Smith).

It's saying something of the crazier Moffatt stories that the over-the-top insanity of "The End of Time" doesn't bother me anymore. Indeed, I quite like Timothy Dalton's hammy performance as "Rassilon-slash-the-Lord-President-of-Gallifrey-slash-narrator".

John Simm was an amazing Master. Great counterpoint to Tennant's Doctor. The two complimented one another nicely.

While I'd like the Time Lords to return in some fashion, I hope the writers keep the Master dead. Having the Master destroy the Lord President (or seem to) and rescue the Doctor from death was in-sync with the original Roger Delgado-era concept of the Master.

Apparently the intention in the Jon Pertwee era was that there would be one remaining Roger Delgado story with the Master in which the Master would end up sacrificing himself to save the Doctor, presumably to honor their old, childhood friendship.

I keep wondering if Moffatt actually has some kind of mad plan that will turn out to result in the Silence being tied to the Time Lords in some way. The Silence seems to have time travel technology, they seem to have some kind of weird TARDIS-like constructs at their disposal, and they somehow managed to take control of the TARDIS and make it blow up (or so the nonsensical events of "The Panopticon Opens" indicates).

It would be brilliant if the Silence were some kind of debased, mutated, Morlock-like Time Lords. Weird, but brilliant.

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Full moon today. Bring on the crazy.

Prescient

In Corey Doctorow's "Little Brother" a terrorist attack cripples San Francisco. In response, the state of California and the Department of Homeland Security require all bridge tolls to use trackable payment methods like FasTrack.

Thankfully, San Francisco has been free of that kind of tragedy in real life. That said, it's interesting that the first steps of requiring trackable payments is underway all the same.

And so it came to pass: Friday cometh

"Friday cometh". That sounds vaguely pornographic.

Either I watch too much porn (possible...) or too much porn mocks religion (also possible) or I have a dirty mind (a given, really) or all of the above (very likely).

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I'm still watching "Arrow" and starting to seriously question whether or not I am rooting for the bad guys. Sort of depends on whether or not the master plan of the bad guys is to obliterate Starling City and everyone in it. 'Cause the soap opera elements of the show are physically-painful.

The action/heroics stuff is kinda cool, so I'll probably stick with the show, but it's just... terrible. Yet entertaining. Arrgh.

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So a giant crane fell over on the Bay Bridge construction project yesterday. I imagine that was a lovely mix of terrifying and exciting. Glad nobody was hurt.

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Google's pushing the new Chromebook Pixel, a laptop that pretty much exclusively "lives in the cloud", meaning pretty much everything is online. Storage and all that is on remote servers elsewhere.

Am I the only person who finds the shift to "the cloud" a trifle disquieting? I like the convenience of online storage, but mainly as a backup. I like (indeed, prefer) having my data local, where possible. I don't want to have to rely on a wireless connection to get my stuff remotely.

Perhaps I'm just not seeing the big picture, or maybe my paranoid, myopic, Luddite brain doesn't want to see the big picture, but it just seems to me that relying too much on having our electronic devices take more and more of a dominant role in our lives and rely on aging, crappy, and vulnerable infrastructure (both in terms of wireless support and in terms of system security) is sort of asking for trouble.

News wonks are often speculating of late on how one day our phones (which are increasingly becoming more personal assistants and less "phones") will act as wallets, letting us transfer funds with a wave, act as ATM and credit cards, and all that. Hell, you can deposit checks with smartphones now.

Sure, it's not like someone can't steal your disparate ATM/credit cards, but tying everything together into one easily-stolen device seems... ill-advised.

Then again, what do I know? I carry a dumbphone brick that's off half the time. Doesn't even have a camera. I carry a freakin' point-and-click for my photo needs. I don't even have wireless at home.

Meh. Guess time will tell if my paranoia is justified.

Outrage

THIS RELIGIOUS REPRESSION SHALL NOT STAND!

You cannot keep the Pastafarian Faith down! RAmen!

Listen to Mother

I love Mother Jones. These folks, like Salon are real journalists, in my opinion.

A few articles that caught my eye (and raised my blood pressure):

• Use of drones in California
• Chinese cyberwarfare
• Montana planning to arrest feds enforcing Federal law
• I... this... I don't even know where to begin

Whenever I forget that the world is utterly batshit insane, it's good to know there's thick-skinned folks out there willing to dive into the crazy pool and show everyone how nuts we've become as a species.

Hobsessions

Ah, gaming.

If I was perfectly-honest about how much time I've sunk into our various RPG campaigns, I probably could have an M.D. and speak five languaes by now.

Assuming my brain could retain that information. Lately I'm not convinced I could think my way out of a wet paper bag, but that's always how I feel after I have software issues (long story I won't share here).

My position in the GM's seat is now occupied by Erik who is diving in with relish and enthusiasm.

Part of me feels good to be relieved of the burden of running the game. We do email sessions between monthly live meetings. Logistically it often feels like juggling flaming chainsaws over a firepit on a tightrope while herding cats on an open plane.

Sounds attractive, doesn't it?

Part of me feels a weird sense of loss. This is a little too central to my life probably going a bit beyond the "hobby" description and more into the "obsession" area.

The game keeps me somewhat-grounded when the rest of life feels out-of-control. 'Cause let's face it, most of us don't have that much control over the various elements in our lives. We really only control how we react to those various elements. OCD freaks like me have a problem with that. So playing God in a make-believe world lets OCD nutcases deal.

That's my Psych 101 take on matters. Probably doesn't help that I've never taken a psych class.

I've been trying to up my attendance time in martial arts to compensate. I hope to test at the end of this semester for a new belt. After the last couple of classes I've attended, I question whether I'll be ready and/or intact for such an endeavor, but never hurts to try.

Anyone who says "never hurts to try" in context with martial arts is lying. Just so you know. It really CAN hurt to try. I'm walking (okay, shambling) proof.

I digress.

I've got "Homeland" (the book, not the TV show) to occupy me for a short time then I need to figure out what to next try my hand it. Expanding my cooking repertoire? Learning how to spell "repertoire" on the first try without need of spell check? Try to learn a language (again)? Get back to my various unfinished and likely never-to-be-finished stories?

Something new?

So many options...

Picks Are

Well that raindstorm was kind of a bust. A couple of hours of reasonably-decent rain and now nada but a bit of a chill.

We don't even get a chance of rain again in the forecast 'till Saturday.

Kinda sucks. I was hoping for a bit more snowpack.

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Have you seen Minion Factory yet? This genius takes iconic films and "Pixar-izes" them. The latest batch are "Pixar-ized" characters from "Star Trek" (the Original Series).

Damn. This is just... wow.

The rendering of Sulu looks off and wrong, but the artist points out that the coloring seems to come from Photoshop, which has its own levels of wonky, so that could probably be fixed by someone with appropriate skills/color perception.

I LOVE the "Star Wars" versions. Really got all the characters dead-on.

The "Doctor Who" stuff on the subsequent page... well, why spoil things. Go and look!

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Today's "Worst Case Scenario" calendar lesson is How to Survive Being Crushed in a Crowd.

The lesson isn't to turn green and Hulk out. Unfortunately.

Atomic Awesome

I know I've raved a bit about Atomic Robo before.

While collecting comics over the weekend, I got the latest trade paperback collection. I'm up to 7 TBPs now:

1. Atomic Robo: the Fightin' Scientists of Tesladyne
2. Atomic Robo: The Dogs of War
3. Atomic Robo: The Shadow from Beyond Time
4. Atomic Robo: Other Strangeness
5. Atomic Robo: The Deadly Art of Science
6. Atomic Robo: The Ghost of Station X
7. Atomic Robo: Flying She-Devils of the Pacific

Each and every volume is a work of glorious, twisted genius.

"The Fightin' Scientists of Tesladyne" is the introductory volume. It's all about establishing Robo, Tesladyne, and Action Scientists as well as a few of the myriad antagonists. Stephen Hawking has an awesome cameo.

"The Dogs of War" covers Robo's time in World War II and is homage to the grandfather of one of the creators.

"The Shadow from Beyond Time" is homage to H.P. Lovecraft (who has a brilliant cameo).

"Other Strangeness" may well be my favorite volume, for it introduces Dr. Dinosaur. I can't get enough of Dr. Dinosaur. The Robo-Dr. Dinosaur dynamic is such that I can't eat or drink while reading it for fear of my life.

"The Deadly Art of Science" slips away from the awesome randomness of "Other Strangeness" and explores Robo's early years and his time learning to shoot and add the "action" monicker to his action science role.

"The Ghost of Station X" was pretty hard-core. Someone interesting has a really cool cameo in it.

"Flying She-Devils of the Pacific" would make an awesome movie and/or TV series. It's post WWII and there's chaos in the pacific as localized pirates and warlords raid caches of weapons left behind by the Allies and Japan after Japan surrendered. A number of extremely-talented people, all of whom just happen to be women, build a sophisticated airship and jetpacks and go around kicking the ass of these dangerous pirates and warlords.

Oh, and Robo gets involved.

I can't properly express how entrancing and entertaining this series is for me. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Computers and Chills

Between the computer problems and some startling personal news, today has not been my favorite day ever.

And the snow level has dropped a hell of a lot in the Bay Area. There's (light) snow on Mt. Diablo.

For the unenlightened, Mt. Diablo is a mountain east of the Berkeley Hills and dominates the affluent Contra Costa County.

It's not all that uncommon for Mt. Diablo to get a dusting of the white stuff but given that we were feeling Spring-like weather last week, it's a bit of a shock to get the sudden gust of cold.

Oh well. I don't mind the cold and I welcome the rain that has come along with it. I welcome any snow that hits the mountains, as that's our water supply right there.

I don't welcome the computer problems or the other stuff. Hopefully tomorrow will be devoid of both.

Start of a short work week

Rain has finally graced the Bay Area in 2013 as of today. I hope it sticks around for a while and gives us a good soaking.

That sounds a little kinky, doesn't it? Hm...

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I got a bag of Unreal faux-Milky Ways. The bag is on my desk. It's looking at me. It's taunting me. It's daring me to raid it.

Oh yeah, bag? I have homemade biscotti in another bag! Trumps you, punkass!

I'm talking to bags of candy and it's only Tuesday. Perhaps I should have extended my holiday weekend a bit? I'm thinking the Scotch yesterday was probably unwise.

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As a follow-up to the GLORY that was Warren Ellis's genius, "Gun Machine", I am now reading Corey Doctorow's "Homeland". The sequel to his brilliant "Little Brother", "Homeland" continues the adventures (such as they are) of Marcus Yallow (I think I have the last name right) in his quest to fight against the oppression of a national security state.

It's fiction, but it's not that far from our reality. Just a nudge or two away, really.

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Upon further examination of the "Man Ring" (titanium utility ring... I really need a consistent name for this Preciousssss bit of shiny) I'm pretty sure the tools built into it are also that uber-awesome titanium. I'm sure the creators would have mentioned something if they were stainless steel or whatever.

Would explain why it's taken me effort to put more of an edge on the little knives. Oh well, they're sharp enough for whatever one would use a tiny knife for, I expect (cutting string, etc.).

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that the bottle opener tool would make a fairly awesome wire-stripper. I bet I could come up with an alternative use for the comb too, if I thought about it.

MacGyver and James Bond wish they owned one of these!

Yes, I'm still fanboy gushing. I expect that won't stop until I'm distracted by something else.

SQUIRREL!

Review: Gun Machine

Ask me about Warren Ellis on an unguarded moment and I might gush and squee like a 13-year-old.

I'm a bit of a fan.

I love "Ocean" and feel this needs to be made into a movie yesterday. Unchanged.

I think that the failure to deliver a "Global Frequency" TV show is a crime against humanity. The comic collections are utter genius.

"Freak Angels" is... okay, I'm running out of synonyms for "genius". Same deal with "Gravel" and the various other works of mad genius Ellis has graced this deranged world with.

So I just finished "Gun Machine" a few minutes ago. This is the first purely-written work of his that I've read. Up to this point I've pretty much just read his comics.

GodDAMN this was a good book!

Part of me prays that this never makes it to the big screen (or TV) ever. Part of me hopes it does, but only if someone capable does it.

The plot: NYPD Detective John Tallow sees his partner killed by a lunatic. Accidentally, Tallow stumbles across an apartment room filled with guns.

And then things get messy.

The story starts off slow-ish, but that's 'cause Ellis is establishing a mood. Then comes in the crazy.

Crazy characters. Not all of them are the bad guys.

Crazy circumstances. Crazy, crazy stuff.

I had a hard time putting this book down. I paced myself on it mainly out of a desire to savor it, but my will power faded the further along in the story I found myself.

If you like cop stories and if you like a good, weird tale, get a copy of "Gun Machine" and read it all the way through.

It's my hope that you will enjoy it as much as I did.

And I enjoyed this story quite a lot.

How I spent my Presidents' Day

I have a 1000ml Stein of Science filled with Calicraft Brewing Company's Oaktown Brown.

My iTunes is playing a random selection of eclectic and weird music that only appeals to people with my particular brand of insanity.

I'm thirty-ish pages from the end of "Gun Machine" and loving this book with a fondness that would make me question my sanity if there was sanity left to question.

I love my life.

Sunday Rambling

In the interests of SCIENCE, I tried to open another bottle with the "Man Ring" bottle opener. I can't get the proper leverage with this, so I'm giving up the ghost on that tool. Could be used as a good wire-stripper, I suppose.

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I'm about halfway through "Gun Machine" by Warren Ellis. It's delightfully fucked-up. I'm curious to see where the story is going.

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Was scolded by some of my younger friends for my failure to have any plans on the Sunday night of a three-day weekend.

Sleeping in for three days straight isn't a plan? I'm old.

The Bay Bridge at Night

Every now and again, my little point-and-click camera does a really wonderful job capturing a scene.

There's a lot to be said for living in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Review: "The Man Ring" (titanium utility ring)

EDIT: Since posting this, I've re-read a couple of times and decided that this post needs edits. Marked with "EDIT" below:


I saw the Titanium Utility "Man" ring about a half hour after my tax refunds posted.

I'd like to say I debated the cost of the ring before ordering one.

I could still say that, but I'd be lying.

The turnaround for the ring was remarkably fast, all told. My reaction was "damn!" and that hasn't changed. And this is a "damn I regret nothing" kind of "damn!" reaction.

Perhaps I should have waited to write this review until I wasn't drinking beer.

Nah. That leads into this review, so moving on.

The ring is titanium. 6A15V Titanium (which, I assume, means something to metallurgists and the like). All I know is that it's freakin' gorgeous. It's got four brass rivets within and then there's the tools themselves.

EDIT (third pass): for ignorant folks like me, the ring comes with a certificate of authenticity that explains what "6A14V Titanium" is. In summary, it's used for airframes, jet engine and rocket components, and so on. Loosely-translated, it's badass metal.

The tools are tiny, magnificently-crafted little things. You really have to examine the ring carefully to even know they're there.

I assume they're made of titanium as well. There's five of 'em all snugly set in the ring itself. Two blades, a straight blade and one with a mild serrated edge, a saw, a bottle opener, and a comb.

First off, the comb is really only any good for combing something small, like a beard or moustache, I imagine. I don't have any use for it and I can't see quite how to make it work properly. I don't think the comb tool would open wide enough, but it's not something I plan on testing.

The blades are sharp little things. Very useful. I could see using these to open boxes or cut string and the like. They're not big enough to be weapons, which is fine by me. They're worth the cost of purchase right there.

The saw is also neat. It's essentially got more teeth than the mildly-serrated knife blade. I expect it could saw through small things (pencils and the like) nicely, should such a scenario ever emerge in the future.

The bottle opener was, I must admit, a mild-disappointment. About ten minutes before writing this post, I tried to use the bottle opener to open a bottle of Oaktown Brown. I couldn't quite get leverage and purchase enough to get the cap off the bottle.

I suppose if I were really determined it might work, but I was wary of damaging the ring itself or accidentally bending the tools, so I stopped and resorted to one of the six hundred or so other bottle openers I own.

EDIT (third pass): in all fairness, I could just be overly-timid using the bottle opener. It should work like a charm. I think I'm just afraid of scratching my shiny new ring or something. Guess I'll just have to do more testing!

So, bottom line. Is it worth nearly four hundred dollars?

Honestly? Even with my problems with the bottle opener, I regret nothing. That could come from the fact that I used a tax refund to buy it so the money never felt "real" to me.

The folks who make the ring have their own site: Boone Titanium rings. I found out they made a wedding ring for a buddy of mine and he absolutely loves them.

I found them a great seller to deal with and I have to tip my hat to their ingenuity and cleverness.

EDIT (second pass): In the interests of SCIENCE I just tried to open a Newcastle Brown Ale with the ring's bottle opener and just couldn't make it happen. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong? That would be both hysterical and weird given my experience with opening bottles.

EDIT (third pass): or my motor skills were iffy. Just sayin'...

Oh well. Still regret nothing.

Fireballs from on high

Enter "russian meteor strike" into Google and eventually you'll find a video.

Oh hell. Just go here.

Goddamn that's scary.

Seriously. That's freakin' terrifying.

ughhhh

Goddamn my toe hurts.

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It's Valentine's Day! What does that mean? DISCOUNT CANDY TOMORROW! W00T!!!!

I'm all about the romance.

Toeing the line

I need a bionic toe. I keep jamming the one I dislocated a couple of years back. It's an unpleasant feeling.

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I was all set to stereotype and say how I'm afraid of women in martial arts 'cause they don't mind going for groin shots.

I was just about to claim that in all seriousness when I realized that only one of the women I sparred tonight did that (thank the FSM I was protected). The rest just kicked my ass the old-fashioned way: with ridiculous amounts of superior speed, skill, and power.

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Just figured out my outstanding balance on my car is less than I thought. I might be car-payment-free in the not-too-distant future.

Getting Belted

May as well get more prolific today.

Saw this "Smuggler's Belt" on Cool Material.

Neat idea, but $245 for a belt with a hidden compartment? Seriously?

A quick search of Amazon came up with no end of money belts with greater carrying capacity for far, far less.

Oh yes, there's the ones that slip under your pants (making for a really interestingly-awkward show if you're getting cash). There's the nylon ones that look like something out of Boy Scouts. And there's even leather ones (likely made from lower-quality leather).

From what I can tell, they all have greater carrying capacity than the "Smuggler's Belt".

What would make the Smuggler's Belt a thing of pure win would be a zip or velcro pocket along the length of the interior and its clever little pocket near the buckle.

That way, you could squirrel away some bills, ID, keys, or whatever that you'd only need to access in a serious situation while have a quick-access pocket for something like cab fare without looking like you're doing a drunken striptease.

Want to up the awesome factor into orbit? Take inspiration from the 686 Tool Belt (or, better yet, partner with these guys so as not to violate copyrights) and make the buckle a screwdriver/screwdrivers and bottle opener.

If a belt like that didn't sell, that would be the absolute, definitive proof I'd need that:

• We are all in the Twilight Zone (or Purgatory
• The Endtimes are drawing nigh

... or the price was set too high. I suppose that's a possibility too.

Wow, I wish I had any craft skills worth a damn.

Hits the Mark

Topless Robot offers 8 reasons why the CW's "Arrow" is superior to "Smallville".

It's spot-on.

To be fair, I hated "Smallville" from the get-go. I thought it was moderately-horrific and got progressively worse. I also loathe Superman. That's been covered in previous posts.

I think the Topless Robot article does a great job calling out what it is that makes "Arrow" entertaining and great. It's unfair to compare it with "Smallville". While both are ostensibly shows about comic book heroes, it's sort of like comparing a fine sports car with a 1974 Pinto that's missing a wheel.

The writers of "Heroes" could learn a lot by checking out the pacing in "Arrow". The writers of "The Cape" could learn a lot about... um... well, everything. "The Cape" was even worse than "Smallville".

Man, I hope the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series is good!

Sooty Wednesday. No wait...

Yesterday was Mardi Gras?

I missed Mardi Gras?

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

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This whole Christopher Dorner thing in SoCal is weirdly-Hollywood. Apparently he got a bunch of SCUBA gear at one point.

Needless to say, I wouldn't be terribly shocked if it turned out he's still alive. Just sayin'.

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My calendar claims yesterday was Lincoln's Birthday, today is Ash Wednesday, and tomorrow is that day people give each other candy. The one that isn't Halloween.

Interesting series of events.

Ash Wednesday. My Catholicism has lapsed sufficiently that I've deleted most of my Catholic lore. Isn't that going into Lent? I suppose I could look it up on Wikipedia, but that would imply I care.

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I didn't pay attention to the TV schedule. So when I set my recording for "White Collar", I found I'd recorded a dog show on USA.

There are still dog shows. This both amuses and puzzles me.

Then again, this is a world in which ping-pong is an Olympic sport. So is golf.

People watch golf on TV. And they enjoy it.

At some point in my past, I must've stumbled into the Twilight Zone or something.

I bet in my universe, "Firefly" is still on the air. *Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

It's no longer Greek to me

Since Greco-Roman times, the Olympics have had wrestling. That's just one of those things.

Now, the Olympics may drop wrestling.

They'll add golf. They'll keep freakin' table tennis/ping-pong. But they'll drop wrestling.

I was waiting for the punchline when I realized that this entire thing is one massive, ridiculous joke.

Boggling of the mind

Every once in a while, someone sends me a news story I can scarcely believe.

This one about Cleveland cops in a firefight with unarmed suspects is one of those.

What really scares me? Imagine folks like this with drones.

You're welcome. If anyone needs me, I'll be huddled under my bed.

Sharing a little too much psychosis

In its heyday, my gaming group had a good three or four distinct campaigns going on set in different worlds.

One was pretty generic fantasy. A world of Elves, Dwarves, blah-blah-blah. We did good stuff with it and it lay the groundwork for the original world we'd create a few years later.

One was a science-fiction/deep space setting. Spaceships. Blasters. All that. We had high-tech space marines (take THAT Games Workshop!), Jedi-esque psi-warriors, and we had riffraff smugglers who would have made Han Solo and Malcolm Reynolds proud.

We had a gritty, "real-world" setting only with people who possessed psi abilities (telepathy, telekinesis, all that fun stuff). Sort of a "Tomorrow People" meets any contemporary action movie you've ever seen.

That one actually has come back from the dead a couple of times and is still considered an active campaign. Sorta.

And then we did a superhero campaign.

The superhero campaign was "four-color". Costumes. Epic powers. All that crap. Cartoonish villains. Incredible abilities. World-spanning organizations. Justice League meets the Avengers meets the X-Men. Only with more of the former.

At one point, the campaign went off in an interesting direction. We had a world-spanning altruistic foundation of do-gooders. They fought to feed the starving, protect the environment, educate the masses, etc. All the good stuff that Greenpeace, Amnesty International, and charitable organizations do now, only they had a "Last Resort" team of superheroes. Badass superheroes. Something malign would come along to endanger the world and the Last Resort team would be sent in. They'd smack around bad guys and disappear into the woodwork, never seeking fame or acclaim.

Why mention them?

I've been watching "Young Justice" on Cartoon Network. It's one of the two-ish shows I actually like on that network (and so it's obviously getting cancelled). The plot revolves around an alien invasion. The heroes never seem to get anywhere in the show and the bad guys are always three steps ahead in their smirking schemes.

The lopsidedness of the plot must really be getting to me. I dreamt last night that my gaming group's "Last Resort" team went in and kicked everyone's asses.

I'm not ashamed to admit, it was a lovely dream.

---

Every time I see a pic of Pope Benedict, I'm reminded how much he looks like Emperor Palpatine.

I have to wonder if he's retiring because he couldn't execute Order 66 or if he's "retiring" so he can lay the groundwork for that...

---

My copy of Warren Ellis's "Gun Machine" is supposed to arrive today. I also got Corey Doctorow's "Homeland", the sequel to "Little Brother".

I'm sure both of those books will keep me on a nice, even keel for the forseeable future.

---

Kickstarter is like crack. Weird, gambling, crack. You're getting lured in by a shiny idea and tossing money at people in the hope that they can deliver on that idea.

Every time I think this is a dubious thing, I look at my Bug-A-Salt and smile.

I love Kickstarter.

Random found online

Found on RPG.net. I have no idea of any copyright status.

And so it begins again and again and...

Huh. The Pope apparently resigned.

I got nuthin'.

---

Year of the Snake, baby!

I still got nuthin'.

---

The weekend's weekly entry in the "Worst Case Scenario" calendar had "How to Escape from an Giant Octopus" whereas today's is "How to Kill a Zombie".

I like that these entries are getting more and more practical as days pass.

Sunday Musings

It always amazes me when I have neighbors who feel a need to pretty much shout their personal conversations when talking on the phone.

Seems to me, you'd want to at least close your window if you're shouting out your personal shortcomings (no pun intended) to your girlfriend over a phone or teleconference.

I suppose when I get irritated enough, I'll let me neighbor know what I've recorded so far in notes, but I'm kind of hoping to get PINs or something really juicy. Maybe his wireless password or something will get yelled out.

He does seem that stupid...

---

Target has "de-junked" candy (candy without corn syrup). In getting snacks for yesterday's game, I got some of their faux-M&Ms and faux-Milky Ways.

Better than the real thing! Amazing how different things taste without corn syrup.

---

I still haven't baptized my Cthulhu tiki mug. I feel sad.

---

Gong Hay Fat Choy, by the way. Happy Year of the Snake and all that.

Reptillian measurements of time

On Sunday, the new "Lunar New Year" (aka "Chinese New Year") hits and we go from the Year of the Dragon to the Year of the Snake.

Hopefully that doesn't mean 2013 is a year of cold-blooded events coiled about itself.

The idea of going into cold-blooded hibernation is appealing to me right now. This damn cough continues to linger and I'm feeling both tired and lazy. I'll probably still force myself to go to martial arts class, but it's sooooooo tempting to just go home and nap...

Thoughts on the Doctor and Gender

Got into an argument with a fellow "Doctor Who" fan the other day. The crux of the argument was over whether or not the Doctor could (or should) regenerate into a female version next time.

In a nutshell, I'm in the camp of the Doctor is a guy. Move on. There's no need to have Time Lords gender-swap when they regenerate. It's not necessary to the story, it's not really part of the past concepts of the Time Lords (though that stuff gets rewritten all the time), and "it ain't broke, why fix it". It just smacks of pandering otherwise.

That said, I am behind the idea of Doctor Who getting the strong female characters. And I'm not talking about companions. Let's face it, the Doctor's companions are window-dressing. They're there to give a "human perspective" for the audience. And, frankly, they're often just to get the male audience to stare at the pretty girls.

That said, Doctor Who has a strong female audience and, frankly, that audience deserves respect.

Is the right idea to give that audience a female Doctor? Hm. I don't care for that concept and my opinion isn't going to change. Ideally, I'd like the writers to revive the Time Lords as a plot device and introduce a Time Lady who could fill that role.

The flaw with that is, of course, that such a character will be viewed as a "faux-Doctor" and a placeholder. Such a character won't get any respect. The writers will probably overcompensate by making her a Mary Sue along the lines of River Song.

I'd personally like to see the mythos of the Doctor Who universe expanded, though. I think there's room for more characters than a mad time-traveler in a rickety box jaunting about the Universe. The "Sarah Jane Chronicles" proved it's possible to expand the scope. Similarly, "Torchwood" proved it could be done (though Torchwood... yeah, moving on).

Why not re-introduce the Time Lords? A few survivors from the Time War are about. They've been avoiding the Doctor for the simple reason that he obliterated their people in an act of genocide. So you've got some Time Lords who have had to live outside of their perfect society for some time.

Cue the new character. She's been out and about a bit. She's got her own TARDIS - either a more advanced model than the Doctor's Type 40 or, better yet, one she's grown/built herself, so she's still working out the kinks in it.

This offers the writers an opportunity to explore new and different ideas. Maybe this character doesn't depend exclusively on a sonic screwdriver as her magic wand. Maybe she uses other tools in addition to a sonic screwdriver. Maybe her TARDIS has a working chameleon circuit. Maybe it's chameleon circuit isn't always... ah... predictable and reliable.

She needs to be brilliant. That's a given. She needs to be flawed too. The Doctor has his terrible flaws and any new character needs good, but subtle, flaws to sustain an audience interest. And she needs a good name.

This is where my little "wish world" falls apart. How do you come up with a good, iconic name that matches the Doctor? It can't be too derivative, so calling her "The Professor" or somesuch is just not going to work.

It doesn't have to be a title/name, I suppose, but it really ought to be in order to fit in the universe.

I'm really only adamant that this new character should NOT be Romana, if I had any say.

Oh well. I guess it's pointless musing.

Another Welcome Friday

With a much-needed infusion of BBotE in my bloodstream, I face the end of another week with caffeine buzzing through my system.

---

The caffeine isn't letting me focus. Instead, my brain ponders the true mysteries of the universe. For example:

• Was any of the Prometheus mission supposed to make sense?
• Why did Owen and Beru Lars let Luke Skywalker grow up with the surname "Skywalker". Wouldn't that be a tipoff to the Empire? Why not make him use the name Lars?
• If S.H.I.E.L.D. could scramble jets to nuke New York City, why they hell didn't they send the Avengers some air support to help stop the Chitauri invasion?
• If Luke was "too old" to begin training to be a Jedi, but he was the last hope of the Jedi, why didn't Yoda or Obi-Wan just raise Luke as a child to be a Jedi from the get-go? Why stick him with relative strangers on a gangster-controled planet?
• What lunatic thought the Enterprise was a sane design for a spaceship?
• Why the hell didn't Yoda and Obi-Wan simultaneously start training Leia as a Jedi? Why keep her completely in the dark? What kind of sexist bullshit was that?
• S.H.I.E.L.D. had field offices in New York City (per the Captain America movie). Why weren't their local agents out helping out the Avengers?
• Space Battleship Yamato. Okay, so your planet is getting bombed to hell by aliens. You decide to take the rusting hulk of an obsolete aquatic warship that got sunk and turn it into a spaceship. What the hell? You were all out of modern materials? If so... how the hell did you get it spaceworthy? WTF?
• Really? You have the One Ring of Power. The ultimate weapon of the age. And you send it with nine people, four of whom are the size of children and have no combat training, out to try to infiltrate the most heavily-guarded kingdom of the age. That's your plan? You couldn't... oh, I dunno... fly it into the volcano? You couldn't take it overseas to where the wizards and Sauron came from and destroy it there? I mean, the Elves are going there en masse. It's not like it's out of the way...

I think of these things.

---

Can't wait for this cough to go away.

---

I'm not yet up to debauchery-strength, alas. Nice greasy burger, fries, and a couple of pints of beer for dinner last night and it did not set well. The burger was too much for my system to handle. The beers were welcome (and delicious) but hit me really hard.

Guess I need to try again tonight.

RANT: comic book movies

There's been a lot of comic book-slash-superhero movies of late. They're ranging all over the place, from the good (Nolan's Batman films and The Avengers) to the not-so-good (Green Lantern and Ang Lee's The Hulk).

I saw this quote on io9 regarding the upcoming Superman film:

"We're approaching Superman as if it weren't a comic book movie, as if it were real. It just struck me that if Superman really existed in the world, first of all this story would be a story about contact."

Okay, why - WHY - would you make a movie based on a comic book and using an iconic comic book character not like a comic book?

Superman flies. He deflects bullets with his Superman-ness. He shoots lasers from his eyes. And he wears goddamn tights with a giant 'S' on his chest.

If you are going to make a film about him, he KIND OF HAS TO HAVE THOSE ELEMENTS!

If he has those elements, but the story isn't comic book in feel, seems to me you've both made Superman incredibly stupid and managed to take all the fun out of the story.

'Cause, superhero films? They're really supposed to be fun.

Batman. He's a super-rich heir who is traumatized by his parents getting killed. Goes out. Becomes a freakin' ninja. Dresses up as a bat. Beats up bad guys.

If you want to be realistic, he's a batshit (hah!) insane lunatic vigilante with weird fetish issues. If you're some weird hipster, it's probably fun to try to be ironic and deconstruct that, but really most people who will watch a Batman movie want to watch a suited-up Batman kick ass and take names.

Nolan's films walked that balance nicely, though I found The Dark Night Rises a bit lacking in actual Batman.

Green Lantern. He has a freakin' ring that makes him able to do whatever he can imagine. Screwing that up in storytelling takes some epic incompetence. I haven't watched the Green Lantern movie, so I can't really attest to its failings, but I'm told the story was really pathetic.

Fantastic Four. Four people get zappped and granted superpowers. They fight a mad scientist from a fictional eastern European country (Doctor Doom). That's solid right there. THERE IS NO NEED TO MAKE THE VILLAIN SOMEONE WHO DEVELOPS SUPERPOWERS FROM THE SAME SOURCE!

I actually found the casting in The Fantastic Four pretty okay. The tweaking to a tried-and-true story? Unforgivable. Not because they took liberties. Because they took the liberties and DID IT BADLY.

My problem with these "reimaginings" of existing, well-known stories really stems from an irritation at Hollywood greed and laziness.

Want to tell an original story with some kind of epic super-human theme? WRITE AN ORIGINAL STORY!

"Reimagining" existing characters doesn't do anyone favors. You alienate the fans of those characters and rarely interest a new audience.

Of course, to do original stories, the writing really has to be solid. Push, for example, had original characters and a clever concept. It could have been an original, well-done, X-Men-esque story, only without the baggage of the X-Men comic, but the actual plot of Push collapsed under its own weird complexity.

And I liked Push.

I have no interest in watching the Superman movie. I can't stand Superman as a character and I never really have. Goyer's quote has actually managed to push me even further away from ever considering that film.

Creeping closer to the weekend

History almost repeated itself last night when I did something I can't properly do and nearly damaged my good shoulder. This is how I damaged my now-bad shoulder.

The lesson here is that either I really need to learn how to do this maneuver properly, or don't f***ing do it ever again.

I'm weighing my options.

---

I'm kind of hoping today isn't as weird as yesteday. It was a circus of bizarre yesteday with drama all over the damn place. And that was before I nearly tore my shoulder to hell.

If it is as weird or weirder, I'm prepared. There's just something about Thursdays that makes it easier to deal with the bizarre.

That wasn't a challenge, gods of perversity and irony. Just to be clear.

---

I got to explain Pastafarianism to some college students yesterday. It was satisfying and amusing. I may have expanded the flock.

The bit about beer volcanoes in Heaven was what probably sealed the deal. The potential-converts were unsure how to react to the stripper poles, but I'm of the belief that the FSM really only provides stripper poles to people who are into that sort of thing.

Honestly, I think the would-be converts were more impressed that I can make pasta sauce from scratch (or so I've claimed).

---

I plan to break my beer hiatus today. It's time. Yes, this is how I'm going to be prepared for the weird, should it come today.

A Disturbance in the Farce

I'm not entirely-comfortable with the spazzy news of a glut of Star Wars movies in the planned future. Especially Star Wars movies centering around single characters, like Yoda.

You just know it's going to be like those direct-to-DVD movies they do for Disney Princesses or what-not.

If we're lucky.

Then again, nobody's holding a blaster to my head to consider spending my money watching them, so I guess I'm okay.

---

Winter has decided to return to the Bay Area. Surprisingly-cold this morning. Glad I keep a hat in my bag. Brrr.

---

Gas prices are rising again. There's a glut of gas supply out there and the prices are rising. The news speculates "gouging".

The rest of us just facepalm and scream out: "DUH!"

Every time gas prices go up, oil execs should have to provide a twenty-page written report to be read in a public square. Execs should have to walk, on foot, unprotected, to the public square to make the report. If the report is unsatisfactory, the crowd should be supplied with things to throw or swing.

My ideas will one day gain a proper following and my army will sweep forth to conquer all.

Okay, I kinda lost track of my point there. Sorry.

---

It dawned on me as I prepared dinner last night that I haven't had a beer or any alcohol (not counting Nyquil) for over a week now. THIS MUST BE RECTIFIED!

The logic seems sound...

(xkcd)

Hobbies

I returned to martial arts class last night.

Felt good.

It was a basic class rather than an advanced one (I just got over the flu, after all) and the instructor was pretty chill so we didn't do anything that's going to break something in my aged form.

I forgot how much I missed it.

That said, I have been excessively lazy (even for me) in the last few years. Sure, I've been reasonably-dutiful about doing martial arts class, but that and my RPG group have been pretty much my only hobbies of any note for a few years now.

It's not enough.

My RPG group is not getting any younger. We're shrinking due to attrition that comes of real life. More than half of of the group is in some kind of serious-ish relationship scenario, which does have a bit of an impact on the hobby.

Frankly, as one of the members with... um... too much time on his hands, I'm probably a little too into the game, which is why I tend to GM it. It leaves me at a loss when our gaming cycles hit and I'm not in the GM seat.

Martial arts class could be a good diversion, but there's only so often I can attend classes within the dictates of class schedule and risking aggravating old injuries. Besides, I burn out quick on that if I go too often.

There's always TV, but I downgraded cable and there's really not much on worth watching. My DVD collection is vast, but sitting and watching stuff isn't really satisfying.

There's exploring new and interesting beers, but equating alcohol with a hobby is a pretty slippery slope.

I suppose I could try to return to writing fiction (blog posts don't count) but... meh. Uninspired. I need hobbies in part for inspiration.

A friend of mine took up archery recently. I have to admit that idea appeals. I can't afford to suddenly get the requisite equipment for that hobby at the moment, but it would be something to work piecemeal on. I know exactly jack-shit about bows beyond how to shoot an arrow in a way that almost-certainly guarantees I will not hit my target.

Sounds like there's lots of room there for a good education.

I could stand to renew my CPR/First aid certification with Red Cross. That's less of a hobby and more of a useful skill, though.

I could make a stab at brewing. That would, I think, require me to keep my kitchen (and probably my entire living area) cleaner than I'm likely to ever manage.

Plus, I don't think I need more beer in my life right now.
I guess I could try to learn a foreign language. Let's see, I've already pretty much destroyed Spanish in high school. I'm pretty sure Japan won't let me return to the country until I sign something saying I won't obliterate their language again. They're still laughing in Beijing over whatever I tried to say in Mandarin.

To be fair, I didn't understand the tones in Mandarin then. To be honest, I still don't.

I could aim for German, I suppose. Good, beer-drinking language. I'm still puzzled by the concept of umlats (sp?) and those weird 'B' symbols that sound like "ssss".

Or I could make a hobby out of musing on various hobbies.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY???

"Bulletproof" whiteboards for school teachers.

Yeah, it's a thing.

I guess one nice thing about a crazy-as-hell proliferation of firearms is that it inspires... um... inventive products?

(via Red Ferret)

Rediscovering the POWER of the Dark Side

Again I watched "The Clone Wars" over the weekend.

Not the movie. The TV series.

Why? Well, it leads into "DC Nation" ("Green Lantern" and "Young Justice") on Cartoon Network and I have to admit I enjoy those shows (so, of course, they've been cancelled).

Also the current Clone Wars stuff is set on Mandalore, the hypothetical homeworld of the Boba Fett people.

So, coolness is almost a given. I mean you have a planet of Iron Man-people in space who fight Jedi for fun. Only these ones are working for Darth Maul and... oh you know what? Nevermind. Don't think about it too much.

No, I don't know why Darth Maul isn't in two pieces. I don't really care.

Why? Because I got to see shit go DOWN in that last episode.

The first part was some sort of stupid thing where Obi-Wan Kenobi comes to save his Mandalorian princess/girlfriend from Darth Maul and fails. It was pretty grim, actually.

This is when the writing started to take directions that impressed me. First of all, Obi-Wan didn't go all "NOOOOO!!!!" and Dark Side up when Darth Maul does something unforgivable.

He stays Light Side all the way. Props to Obi-Wan.

Fast-forward to the good stuff. Meanwhile, across the Galaxy, Chancellor Palpatine (better known as Darth Sidious or the-guy-who-will-become-the-Emperor) senses something amiss.

"Get my ship."

Fast-forward to Sidious landing on Mandalore. He spares no time smacking the CRAP out of the armored guys with his Dark Side mojo.

Maul and Maul 2.0 (his apprentice? I don't care) are sitting in the throne room, having sent Obi-Wan off to the dungeons (to get rescued by a lady Mandalorian... oh, it doesn't matter, moving on).

Maul looks up. He senses Sidious. Sidious comes in, smacking the crap out of every guard in the room using the Force to choke them. Choke them to death.

This is a kid's show and the body count is already in double-digits.

I am, at this point, hooked.

Sidious greets Maul and Maul-deux. There's perfucntory grovelling from Maul. Then Sidious starts smacking down. Why? There can be only two.

Sidious busts out two lightsabers. Maul and Maul-deux bust out their own lightsabers. There are glowing scars in the floor from Sidious as he dances between the Mauls!

Cue five - Maybe ten - minutes of Sith-on-Sith lightsabery action that nearly matches the battle in The Phantom Menace (the only good part of that movie) and Yoda's bust-out in Attack of the Clowns (see what I did there?).

There's really no doubt how that's going to go, though. Maul-deux is dusted with humiliating ease by Sidious and Maul gets an awesome lesson from Sidious in the "reality of the Sith".

I was impressed with the savagery of the episode. I was impressed with the willingness to show just how badass the Sith can be. I could almost get past the terrible animation.

And I have to say, I think Palpatine may well be my favorite Star Wars character. He's coming dangerously-close to edging out Han Solo, at the very least.

First February Monday

Well, that was disappointing. Sure, the Niners came back in the second half, but they just couldn't get enough traction to catch up to the Ravens. Sad.

I say this out of a loyalty to a local team, not out of any interest at all in football.

---

February. Wow. I feel as though I blinked and missed January.

Of course, I was sick for over a week-combined of January, so that might contribute to my disorientation a tad.

---

Dry as a bone and Spring-like since the new year arrived. Oh we've had the odd sprinkle here and there, but nothing that's stuck.

We need rain damn badly and we need snow in the mountains.

I wouldn't mind a cold snap or two, honestly. I get weirded-out by Spring weather in mid-Winter. I prefer my Spring in Spring.

I'm old-fashioned that way.

---

The flu is history for me. I feel fantastic, which is not a word I'd normally use for my personal feelings on a Monday.

I expect a return to martial arts will beat that good feeling out of me right-quick.

---

The Year of the Snake is closing in upon us, in the eastern calendar. I guess the 10th is the actual "Lunar New Year" (aka "Chinese New Year"). According to one of my friends who makes a study of Chinese horoscopes, I'm supposed to have a successful year professionally, do well financially, probably develop superpowers and all that other bullshit.

You know, same as every horoscope says every year.

Superpowers would be cool. Too bad I was making that part up.

---

Superpowers. What superpowers would you choose?

I'd probably get greedy and want some kind of healing/regeneration ability (like Wolverine), telepathic/telekinetic powers, and the ability to see the future.

For starters.

No capes, though. I have learned from The Incredibles.

Quite the Sunday

Thus far, the Niners are not doing as well as I'd like (that is to say, they're trailing behind the Ravens).

That's what I expected, but not what I'd hoped.

I really would like the Niners to get their shit together and win this, but I suppose I have no control over that. It's not like I'm that much of a football fan anyway.

---

Today is the first day I feel completely free of the flu altogether. I still have the lingering remains of a cough, but that's mostly just clearing out the lungs. My appetite is mostly back and I strolled all over Berkeley earlier without any undue weakness.

Got myself a nice dapper hat for the summer months, too.

---

I'm really of two minds regarding the Niners and the Superbowl. If they win, every dumbshit in the Bay Area is going to go on a rampage. If they lose, every dumbshit in the Bay Area may still go on a rampage, only without as much happy.

Plus, as a Bay Area child, my innate loyalty demands a local team win.

That said, there's been a lotta cocky posturing going into this game. The Niners have done well, but the last game they played was pretty close. I figure they don't deserve to get too cocky.

Given the current score, it seems that's right.

I really hope they pull it off all the same.

---

Taxes are done. That's something, I guess.

---

Good lord I'm glad to put the flu behind me. That sucked.

Comparative Health

If I were to rate myself, I'd say I'm at about 60% right now.

Well enough to get my lazy arse out of bed and into work. Just.

Four days of various cough medicines and decongestants and I still have a barking cough that sounds like a chain-smoking sea lion. I can mostly-breathe.

My appetite comes and goes. One moment I'm famished, the next food disgusts me.

Coffee, oddly-enough, always appeals to me. It's the only thing that tastes right when I consume it. Food still tastes a bit weird.

At least I'm slowly recovering.