Good-bye 2015. Hello 2016.

Well, in less than 6 hours, California will cross into 2016.

I'm curious to see what 2016 has in-store. Stability? Instability? Will we get the torrential rains of El Niño that are anticipated? Will that assclown, Trump, be the GOP candidate? Will the fates laugh and let that jackass get elected? Will we wind up in another war? Will we wake up and change things?

Guess we'll find out. Time to figure out what movies I want to end 2015 with then figure out which bottle to tap.

Happy New Year and all that.

Beer-induced musings on 2015

My favored watering-hole closes for the balance of 2015. I've had pints and food there and now face a four-day weekend in which I'll see 2016 come on to the scene. Thanks to 6% beers (plural) I feel the urge to comment on my stream-of-consciousness:

• First of all: it's goddamn cold. Seriously. This is the coldest winter in ages. I wish I'd gotten PG&E to fix my goddamn wall heater.
• A year at a new job. Ups. Downs. Ambiguous territory. Comfort zone achieved (more or less). In that year I've hit a point where I've actually had to mentor some other poor soul. The joy of the tech industry. It's been a bumpy ride. I'm hoping 2016 will be better.
• Star Wars managed to redeem itself under J.J. Abrams. I'm unsure how I feel about that. I still want to kick Abrams in the teeth for "Lost". And I'm perversely pleased that George Lucas is unenthusiastic about The Force Awakens. In fairness to Lucas, the plot is a 21st-century ripoff of A New Hope. He's a bit justified in thinking that the film's popularity is bullshit. Having seen it twice, I'm not convinced Episode VIII can be as good without Harrison Ford to carry it, but it's going to be a damn sight better than the turd-blossoms that were the prequels.
• Guns. Seriously. Gun crimes have just gotten crazier in this country. Since when does the Second Amendment cover military-style weapons? The right to bear arms doesn't mean you're entitled to a weapon that can kill a room full of people in two seconds. This shit is fucked up.
• Cops killing African-Americans. That's been a thing for too long of a time. 2015 saw the topic get much-needed attention but it's truly disgusting to see how many unarmed Americans are shot dead by cops. What. The. Fuck?
• ISIS/ISIL/Whatever-the-fuck-they're-calling-themselves. So we have a new boogeyman out there. In fairness, these dickheads are pretty disgusting as simulacrums of humans go. Still, I'm getting tired of shitbags elsewhere in the world being waved about here as an excuse to justify turning this country into some fascist wet-dream. That shit needs to stop.
• Donald Trump. Okay, on the topic of fascists, what the fuck? Why are there people in the United States who pay any attention to this fucktard? Why do we have so many inbred, mouth-breathing, home-grown fascist shitheads who think his brand of stupid is okay? Why is this asswipe getting airtime? Oh wait. He's rich. Nevermind. Carry on.
• It's a sign that one needs to invest in a proper bookshelf when one has towers of books stacked in front of one's already-full bookshelf. Time for a trip to Target/IKEA/whatever. Sigh.
• I'm still thinking Calicraft Oaktown Brown may be my favorite bottled beer in 2015.
• I'm thinking that High West's "Campfire" blend of rye, bourbon, and scotch is my favorite sipping liquid. I plan to end 2015 with a glass of such, assuming I can refrain from killing the bottle between now and then.
• I'm thinking "14" by Peter Clines will be the book in 2015 that had the biggest impact on me.
• Another year of my gaming group going solid on the new campaign I've shoved down their throats. New group. New dynamics. Lots of weirdness. It's still going strong, though. Well, more-or-less.
• I will be totally jazzed if Bernie Sanders somehow defies the odds and takes the presidency in 2016.
• Did I mention it's cold? Fucking hell. I think my adopted cactus plant froze.

Thoughts on "The Force Awakens"

I can't stop myself. Must speculate ramble incoherently in a drunken way.





Spoilers. Be warned.




















































Still there? Foolish Jedi. The Spoiler Side is stronger.

















Okay, so The Force Awakens takes place a good three decades after the events of Return of the Jedi in which Lando Calrissian, Wedge Antillies (sp?), and a bunch of teddy-bear aliens defeated the Empire with a little help from Han Solo, Leia Organa, and Chewbacca. Oh, and Luke was there, too. He was busy setting out daddy issues or something.

In the aftermath, Han and Leia got busy and, in due course, had a rugrat they named Ben.

Being the son of Leia and grandson of Anakin, little Ben was strong in the Force. When Luke decided to rebuild the Jedi Order (hopefully discarding the lies and garbage Yoda and Obi-Wan taught him), he took Ben into the school to teach him.

Then everything went wrong.

First off: how the hell did Luke screw that up? How did Supreme Leader Snape (Snorkel, Snoop-Dog... I can never remember his name) weasel his way into Luke's Jedi school and lure impressionable young Ben over to the Dark Side? And what the hell are the "Knights of Ren"?

io9 has a bunch of articles discussing backstory on all this. I'm disinclined to pay too much attention to backstory not actually covered in the movie.

My reasons are simple: if you need backstory from other media to understand what's going on in a movie, that's lazy storytelling.

So anyway, we find out that Ben Solo is now going by the inexplicable name of Kylo Ren (following in the Supreme Leader's footsteps of having an unimpressive-sounding villain name). He's got a mask to hide his coiffed hair and the anger-control issues of a demented fifteen-year-old boy.

Supreme Leader Snark's First Order (nice name) builds yet another Death Star (because the first two were obvious successes), only this one is built out of a planet and eats suns to blow up planets on the other end of the galaxy using hand-wavy Star Wars science.

All said, not a terrible plan.

Supreme Leader Sniffles and Kylo Ren are also looking for Luke who has gone into hiding after his school got wiped out.

My bad. Clearly, Luke learned his lessons from Yoda on how to be a whiny quitter instead of rolling with the punches and actually fighting the bad guys.

Apparently "Jedi" is a Galactic term for "weak-ass whiny punk".

For some reason, Supreme Leader Snotty is actually afraid of Luke and wants to find him. And there's a map.

Okay, wait. Why is there a map? And in a society with faster-than-light travel, why does that map have multiple points on it? Wouldn't it be better simply to have destination coordinates? As I understand it, hyperdrive can take you from where you are to virtually anywhere, given arbitrary fuel factors and what not.

*Shakes head*

Nevermind.

Meanwhile, Finn (aka "FN-blah-blah-blah") showing actual guts, quits his job as a janitor stormtrooper (seriously, they have the black guy working in sanitation in the First Order? WTF?). He busts out a rebel resistance pilot and they steal a TIE and the fun begins.

The pilot, Poe, winds up giving Finn his name and they bond in what would make an awesome buddy movie.

Seriously, I'd watch the Adventures of Finn and Poe as they steal First Order spaceships and fuck up the bad guys. I think that would be tight.

Stuff goes on. Finn and Poe are separated. Then Finn meets Rey.

Okay, so Rey is becoming a lightning rod out there. There's accusations that she's a "Mary Sue". I don't buy it. Let's discount for a moment any ancestry issues we're working out with her. She was abandoned on a shithole planet and raised having to fend for herself. It's made her a tough fighter and given her a broad skill set. Add to that the fact that she's clearly strong in the Force without her brain being polluted by Jedi bullshit dogma.

So far she's the biggest badass in the show aside from Finn, who may or may not have access to the Force in any significant way.

They meet, bond, and steal the Millennium Falcon (what a coincidence!) then wind up embroiled in the crazy.

Rey's sharp but seems to think the family who abandoned her to slowly starve to death on a crappy junkyard planet will come back.

Issues.

She's got a weird connection to Luke's lightsaber (somehow recovered from Bespin... also a weird coincidence). She's sufficiently badass that she is able to rescue herself from a cell using a Jedi mind-trick (without the hand wave). She can stop Kylo Ren's mind-probe powers. And she can pick up lightsaber skills pretty quick.

Okay, that sounds like an argument in-favor of the Mary Sue claim (despite the fact that "Mary Sue" can't possibly apply here, but I digress).

I think Rey's prowess isn't unreasonable. Luke had weird visions under weirder circumstances as did Anakin before him. Rey and Finn's ability to fight Kylo Ren (a trained Force user) on Starkiller Base seems ridiculous until you remember Kylo Ren had a hole in him from Chewbacca's bowcaster. And he was an emo, whiny punk.

Finn, a trained soldier, handled himself fine until Kylo remembered he has Force powers.

When Rey steps in, she's reasonably-fresh and has strong Force powers.

And then there's the parentage argument.

So it's implied (vaguely) that Rey may be Luke's daughter. Whether or not Luke adopted the whole "Jedi don't marry" thing, he still could have shacked up with someone and had a kid. As a child, Rey could have witnessed Daddy Luke lightsaber fighting and remembered some of that subconsciously.

Okay, that's a stretch, but we're talking about superpowered warrior monks. It's no weirder than the rest of the premises of the film.

So is Rey Luke's daughter? I honestly don't know. I know Abrams likes to tease and taunt with mysteries. I know Star Wars is supposed to be following the Skywalker family. Seems logical Rey is Luke's kid. A lot of that really depends on who her mother is.

Rey was abandoned on Jakku, a desert shithole junkyard where she lived a pretty terrible life.

If Luke is her father, seems he's going to be on the hook for neglect charges and therapy bills.

But Luke may not have known Rey was on Jakku. It's possible Rey's mysterious mom dropped her on Jakku, possibly being pursued. She may have intended to come back and met an untimely end.

Or it's a plot hole that will never be filled. Whatever.

Rey, when hearing Luke's name, seems to think he's a legend. She could have been faking, but if she's Luke's daughter, why react at all? Why just not shrug off the name. Seemed weird. It's possible Rey is Luke's kid but she was separated from him before she ever learned he had a name beyond "Daddy".

Seems like she was pretty young. I'm just sayin'.

If Rey is indeed offspring of Luke, it seems like old Ben Solo/Kylo Ren didn't inherit any ability to sense his cousins in the Force pool of powers. Leia may have. She and Rey hug when they first meet, which is weird. But that could also just be bad writing.

I'm nitpicking on these points because they bug me, of course. I still enjoyed the film immensely, but I really hope the writers have satisfactory answers to questions instead of Abrams' usual hand-wavy bullshit.

Review: "The Husbands of River Song" (Latest Doctor Who Xmas special)

So... yeah. The latest Doctor Who Xmas special aired.

Spoilers.


















































Still there? You were warned.


















I'm really tired of this tradition. I'm prefacing my review with that. I'm really tired of Xmas stories in Doctor who.

So this is kind of stand-up comedy instead of a proper Doctor Who episode.

The Doctor is hanging out on some planet in the 51st century (which looks remarkably un-advanced, but let's move on). A weird bald guy recruits the Doctor thinking he's a surgeon. The bald guy is working for River Song, who does not recognize the Doctor. She needs a surgeon to remove a diamond from the brain of her husband, Hydroflax, the cyborg king of some empire. She wants to kill the king to steal back the diamond to sell it off.

There's some craziness and the Doctor and River make off with Hydroflax's head.

Turns out Hydroflax's body is a killer robot that takes the heads of others in its pursuit of River and the Doctor.

There's some shenanigans. River steals the TARDIS with the Doctor in it. They pop over to a spaceship where River plans to sell the diamond and... much craziness happens. The whole time, the Doctor and River are mixing while she has no idea that he's the Doctor.

They're cornered and then the Doctor tips off River and there's much um... yeah. Stuff.

Then... the conclusion. Overall pros:

• The Peter Capaldi and Alex Kingston dynamic.
• Some funny bits.
• The sonic screwdriver.
• A somewhat satisfying conclusion to the River Song story.

Overall cons:

• The Sonic Sunglasses again????
• Sonic Trowell?
• The utterly nonsensical plot.

Review: "Nie Yin Yiang" ("The Assassin")

As I apparently have not had enough of movies this weekend, I watched Nie Yin Yiang (The Assassin). As a fan of wuxia and martial arts films, I figured this would be a slam-dunk couple of hours of fun.

Frankly, I was bored to tears watching this film. I never did figure out what was going on or who meant who to what or why. A lot of the cinematography had far-off shots or scenes as viewed through gauzy silk, as though the audience were voyeurs in the shadows (presumably to mirror the view of the titular assassin herself).

Frankly, it didn't work for me at all.

A shame, really. I'd heard a lot of hype over how gorgeous and original this film was. There were some pretty scenes, but frankly the entire thing felt choppy and amateurish. I don't understand the love.

Oh well. I can still bask in the glow of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I saw it in 3-D IMAX last night.

Sweet Jedi goodness that film was awesome!

Oh, I could nitpick on a few things (I can always nitpick on things) but that film was head-and-shoulders better than it had a right to be. I'd rate it up there with Episode IV ("A New Hope") and Episode V ("The Empire Strikes Back"). In terms of dialog, acting, direction, and awesomeness of heroes, it blows Episode VI ("The Return of the Jedi") out of the water. Obviously the prequels are left far, far behind in the dust.

I'm going to show uncharacteristic restraint and not make any kind of specific review. I don't want to spoil anything.

My faith in "Star Wars" is renewed. My faith in J.J. Abrams is renewed. I'm going to go find my lightsaber and break some lamps in my apartment now.

Don't quite get it

So apparently there's a remake of Ghostbusters in the making. It's a gender-switch, so it's got an all-female cast of Ghostbusters with a male admin of some sort.

Cute gimmick, I guess.

Back in July, io9 insisted on no longer referring to it as "All female Ghostbusters". To wit, I have to ask: why?

This is an obvious remake of an existing, successful film. There was an obvious move to replace the four male protagonists with four female protagonists (even down to the one token member of African ethnicity). Why not call it what it is?

It's a remake of Ghostbusters and it's got a female cast. This is what it is. It's not an original thing. It's a remake of an existing, successful film using a gimmick of swapping out the male cast with female cast. Sure, they may rock the roles and make this awesome, or even better than the original, but it's still a remake with very specific, conscious casting choices. Why pretend otherwise?

Sometimes io9 makes no sense to me.

Review: "The Fold" by Peter Clives

The not-a-sequel-but-it's-totally-a-sequel to "14" tells the story of Leland "Mike" Erikson. A small-town high-school teacher with an eidetic memory and a genius IQ, Mike is called in by his DARPA friend to look over a new, high-tech project: "The Albuquerque Door", a new scientific breakthrough that can "fold" time-and-space, allowing for instantaneous travel.

Mike is fascinated. The Door's team, however, is secretive, insular, and just a tiny bit off.

So is the Door itself.

And as Mike pokes around, he finds out that the Door is not what it seems.

"The Fold" is set in the same world (more-or-less) as the brilliant "14". It takes place a year or two later and has more than a few crossovers with "14", both in the form of certain characters returning and certain creatures.

We get a return of the formulas and predictions of Aleksander Koturovic, the mad Victorian-era scientist whose genius is behind so much of the insanity of "14". We get the weird bugs. We get the weird creatures. And we even get to learn a few odd tidbits about things in "14", such as some family details about Anne, the temp who worked with Nate in "14" and appears in "The Fold" with a new role.

I found "The Fold" to be an enthralling book. I found "Mike" Erikson a bit of an annoying Mary Sue for about ten minutes, then got lost in the story and his crazy view of the world.

The story went in some truly weird directions, and I have to give Peter Clives props for his myriad nerd comments. His dive into esoteric "Star Trek" spin-offs were truly inspired.

If I had to pick a favorite between the two, I'm going to lean towards "14". There was just too much about "14" and its everyday crew facing mad science weirdness that resonated with me, but I really enjoyed "The Fold" as well.

If you like your mad science thrillers with a flavor of Lovecraft, I strongly recommend "The Fold". And if you liked "14", check it out. You won't regret it.

Strawberries

Strawberries from Rowan Spiers-Floyd on Vimeo.

Do not mess with the little girl.

Review: "14" by Peter Clives

Every now and again, someone blindsides me with a recommendation. I get exposed to a book that really takes root in my psyche and burrows into my imagination. It messes with my mind to the point where I walk around in the real world and I think about the book to a point where I wonder what life would be like if the book were real and the circumstances part of my everyday life.

"14" was recommended by a friend and I picked it up off of Amazon in a glut of purchases for my BART commute.

I wasn't sure what to expect with it, so I let it sit for about a week then took it on BART one morning.

I think I managed to stretch it out four days.

And that was a struggle.

So "14" is... um... hm. One review I read suggested it has a lot in common with "Lost" (when "Lost" was good). That's a fair representation.

If "Lost" had been set in a Los Angeles apartment building instead of a desert island, it would share a lot with "14". If it had a torrid affair with H.P. Lovecraft's works, that would fit too.

Where it differs is that "Lost" got... um... lost... in its own mythology and mystery. "14" doesn't have that problem. From the get-go, Peter Clives knows where the story is going and just what the mystery is.

"14" is the story of a number of people living in an apartment building that's got cheap rent and a number of oddities. Several of the rooms are quite odd. A few are padlocked shut. The landlord is uncommunicative on just who owns the building and it's got some seriously-weird pests.

One of the tenants, an everyday guy in a dead-end job, starts poking around and, in the process, befriends his neighbors.

And then things get weird.

And then things go horribly, horribly wrong.

"14" is the sort of book that I kind of want to see as a well-done mini-series on TV. And by "on TV", I mean by a network that has a lot of flexibility, like HBO, or by an alternate offering like Netflix.

It's a riveting story, and I really hate using "riveting" in a sentence. I highly recommend it if you like contemporary thrillers with really weird stuff going on.

Folks who like Atomic Robo will find a few things to enjoy about "14" as well.

Review: "Ruin" by John Gwynne

Recently I finished "Ruin", the third in John Gwynne's series about a pseudo-Celtic fantasy world facing their own flavor of Revelations.

The previous books, "Malice" and "Honor" were brilliant stuff with a slow build-up to a terrible battle. "Ruin" is book three of that four-part series.

And it's kinda fucked-up.

Don't get me wrong: "Ruin" is a solid read. If you read "Malice" and "Honor", you'll likely enjoy "Ruin". It's got much of the same sense of heroics, epic good, epic evil, fantastic turns of fortune, and a brutality that would make George R.R. Martin sit back and grin.

With "Ruin", we continue the story of Corban, the fated "Bright Star", a hero destined to fight the forces of darkness, especially the dark champion known as the Dark Sun.

At the end of "Honor", we learn who the Black Sun is and that lucky sap also learns the terrible truth. Meanwhile, the bad guys have severely-flanked the good guys and evil seems to be winning.

I'd like to say things get better in "Ruin", but that would be a lie. It's a brutal story and things are looking bleak for those few still alive at the end. Gwynne went in directions I have to admit I didn't expect.

Part of me is really happy with that. The other part of me is kind of pissed.

Looks like I won't see a conclusion to this until July of next year. I'm kind of sitting on the edge of whether or not I like this series at this point. It really depends on where the last book goes, I guess.

I've enjoyed it, but I also enjoyed Anthony Ryan's series until "Queen of Fire" killed my interest.

Overall, I'm personally going to recommend "Ruin", but only if you liked the previous two books.

Sharp Things: DPx HEST/F Grey Niolox

DPx HEST/F Grey Niolox. That's a hell of a name to try to write.

So I previously mentioned a DPx Gear knife I'd obtained - the Aculus. I frothed at the mouth over it and all that.

My love for the Aculus has not dimmed but a combination of events took me back to the DPx site where I browsed a bit. Then I stumbled across the HEST line of knives.

Long story short, I made another purchase. Yup. I got myself the fun-to-type DPx HEST/F Grey Niolox.

The Niolox is a lovely little knife. Great opening action with a sharp blade that's small enough to not upset too many people and still be a useful tool. It's got an interesting notch on the outside that can serve as a bottle opener (BONUS!). There's a 1/4" hex socket driver (no bit included) in the handle along with wire-strippers on the thumb grip (not something I can see myself needing but...) and finally a tungsten carbide glass breaker on the end.

The grip is comfortable and has a belt clip that allows for a deep carry in the pocket.

Yeah, I have a new favorite.

Review: "Hell Bent"

And we come to the conclusion of Series Nine of the new Doctor Who series.

Spoilers follow.















































Still there? You were warned.






The episode starts off with the Doctor, sporting an electric guitar, going into a Nevada diner. Clara is working there as a waitress. She doesn't appear to know who the Doctor is. The Doctor settles in to tell a story about a woman named Clara.

Then we have our scene readjusted. The Doctor is now back on Gallifrey after a few billion years punching his way through diamond. He walks to an old farmhouse in the middle of the Gallifreyan desert (aren't there any plants on this planet?) and chills out. Some matronly woman comes in blathering and stops to gape at the Doctor. It seems this is the farmhouse the Doctor used to chill out in as a kid.

Okay.

So the High Council of Time Lords knows the Doctor's about and the Sisterhood of Karn has somehow dropped in for a visit (because they apparently both know how to find Gallifrey and can travel in time and space but conveniently never told the Doctor where Gallifrey was 'cause... okay moving on). The Lord President Rassilon (now regenerated into a crusty old guy) sends forces to retrieve the Doctor. First it's troopers in hover vehicles. Then it's other Time Lords. Then it's Rassilon himself.

Rassilon and the Doctor have a bit of "whose is bigger" posing. Then Rassilon tells his troops to kill the Doctor. They all refuse and drop their weapons. The Doctor then performs a coup and banishes Rassilon from Gallifrey at the end of the universe (as that's where Gallifrey is hiding because... um... reasons).

The Doctor then starts doing a bit of housecleaning on Gallifrey. Rassilon and his lot were after the Doctor for information on the Hybrid and the Doctor just refused to give away that tidbit (and we never really get a definitive answer as to what the Hybrid is).

The Doctor uses Gallifrey's resources to snatch Clara out of time from the moment before she dies. She's frozen in a moment, with no heartbeat, but can still talk, walk, breathe, etc. Because reasons.

The Doctor then snags a gun, shoots one of the senior Time Lords, and flees with Clara.

It seems if they don't put Clara back into her timeline to die, the universe will unravel.

The Doctor flees into the Cloisters, where there's these cool "Cloister Wraiths" hanging about. He talks to Clara about how he was a young Time Lord and snuck in to the Cloisters where he learned about the Hybrid, then went a bit mad and fled Gallifrey.

The Time Lords and the Sisterhood pursue the Doctor and Clara into the Cloister. There's a bit of nonsensical posturing (with the Time Lords and Sisterhood essentially calling the Doctor an irresponsible fool) then the Doctor sneaks away, steals another TARDIS, grabs Clara, and flees.

There's a cool moment in which we see a re-done version of the First Doctor's classic TARDIS, complete with a working Chameleon Circuit.

The Doctor voices his plan to Clara to hide her and use a device to help her. The TARDIS stops and there's four knocks at the door at the hidden point at the end of the universe (where the Doctor seems to like to hang out a lot). Ashildr/Me is there, of course. She lectures the Doctor a bit, implying the Doctor is the Hybrid and may be half-human (a concept first introduced in the horrible 1996 Fox TV movie). Nevermind that the Doctor said at the end of Heaven Sent that he was the Hybrid. Whatever.

So the Doctor explains he intends to wipe Clara's memories of him so he can hide her. Clara, in the meantime, has turned on the TARDIS monitor and heard the whole thing.

Cue the three of them in this new TARDIS. Clara claims to have re-adjusted the mind-wiping device so it will wipe the Doctor's memories and that her past is her own.

The Doctor and Clara then cue the device together and the Doctor's memories of Clara are wiped.

Cue back to the diner. The diner is actually the stolen TARDIS. Clara and Ashildr have swiped it to jaunt across the Universe. The Doctor is returned to his TARDIS, gets a new coat, a new sonic screwdriver, and is off.

Yeah. So an entertaining story with a lot of nonsense and unanswered questions, such as:

• The Doctor apparently fled Gallifrey when he was very young, but he had a granddaughter. So... um... how does that jibe with the being "young" thing? Just a teen pregnancy thing?
• How the hell is the Sisterhood of Karn bopping about?
• Why were the Sisterhood able to give orders at the end? Hell, why were they there at all?
• Why the the neural-brain-zapper thing work on the Doctor when they made a big deal about it being "calibrated for humans"? The Doctor is not human, as the series has claimed endlessly.
• WTF was up with all that Hybrid nonsense?
• The Time Lords can manipulate time and space. Why were they hiding at the end of the Universe? Why were they hiding at all?
• Seriously, why are the Time Lords the loathed bad guys from the Time War but the Daleks are popping about and nobody seems to care?
• How were Ashildr and Clara able to read the TARDIS manual instructions if they were in Gallifreyan? The show has actually stated that one cannot properly run a TARDIS unless one is a Time Lord. There's a whole genetic thing. So how are they operating it at all?

I'm ready for Moffatt to stop running this show. I'm also hoping that one day they'll get coherent writers back.

EDIT: So I've had more time to ponder. Some things stick out in my mind.
Pros:

• Classic TARDIS.
• Resolution to Rassilon.
• We have the Time Lords back.
• Cloister Wraiths.
• New sonic screwdriver (I'm a sucker for toy-fodder).
• Diner TARDIS.

Cons:

• The Dickensian Gallifreyans at the old farm. WTF?
• Ashildr/Me. She was an unnecessary afterthought in this episode and, honestly, didn't have much of a part to play a couple of eps back when Clara died.
• The resolution of Clara. Why? Just... why? I mean, if her existence is threatening to tear the universe apart, it's clearly not happening so... um... why?
• The Doctor shooting the General, forcing a regeneration. That felt unnecessary and more than a lot stupid.
• The entire "Hybrid" thing. Like the entirety of Clara, the Hybrid story was incoherent and never really made any sense.

Review: The "Man Ring 2.0"

So I've mentioned "The Man Ring" (titanium utility ring) before. It's been a fixture on my hand for the last couple of years without fail. I've taken it overseas and every other damn place. And looooooved it.

Not too long ago, I learned that Boone Titanium Rings came out with a version 2 of their "Man Ring". After looking over the site, I just had to have it.

My V2.0 ring arrived the day after Thanksgiving, lifting my spirits as I lounged about my apartment, coughing up a lung and otherwise being a vector of terrible disease.

I have to say, the folks at Boone Titanium Rings really did a great job upgrading this.

The V2.0 ring boasts of fewer bits that fold out, but those that do are better-situated to work as advertised.

Instead of six little tools that fold out from the V1.0 ring, the V2.0 ring has four parts: a tiny blade (made of titanium, so not super-sharp, but good enough to open a box), a tiny comb, and two tiny saws with slightly different tooth arrangements. All of the tools extend out a good 270 degrees from closed instead of 90 degrees in the V1.0 ring, making them a bit more practical (such as tiny tools are ever practical). And when you pull all the little tool bits open, you have a little claw-like indentation in the ring's body that is a very practical bottle opener.

I look forward to my recovery so I can practice opening a beer with the new toy.

The V2.0 ring is a bit more slender than the V1.0 ring and the indentation for the bottle opener calls more attention to the tools, making them somewhat less-discrete when closed, but it's hardly an issue.

The "Man Ring 2.0" is awesome. I am giddy.

Review: "Heaven Sent"

When we last left the Doctor, something terrible had happened. Just as he has a moment to posture and pose, he's teleported...

And we get to "Heaven Sent". Spoilers.

















































You were warned.









The Doctor appears in a chamber just after some hapless, smouldering bloke collapses to the ground and turns to ash, leaving a single word drawn in the dust: "Bird".

The Doctor finds himself in a strange castle surrounded by a seemingly endless sea. In most of the chambers of the castle is a monitor. From the monitor, the Doctor can see the castle from the perspective of the other inhabitant: a shambling, shrouded, fly-encrusted creature with claw-like hands that slowly, inexorably follows him. It's conjured from his darkest nightmares so he's got good reason to haul ass and get away from it.

After some cat-and-mouse, he learns that he can make the creature freeze by confessing a secret.

The Doctor quickly divines that he's being interrogated. After an involved internal lecture to the now-deceased Clara, he puzzles his way through to the exit from the chamber: a wall of some diamond-like substance. To open it, he simply must confess his arbitrary dark secret of the season, what he knows of "the Hybrid."

If you haven't been paying attention, "the Hybrid" is the Moffant McGuffin of the season. Some kind of creature, presumed to be half Time Lord and half Dalek that will destroy Gallifrey or something.

You know? Don't ask. It's a Moffatt thing and is probably best ignored.

Anyway, the Doctor refuses to reveal the whole Hybrid thing (or admit it's really about these fancy cars he developed on Earth or something). He lets the creature kill him but he doesn't die immediately. He slowly dies and claws his way back to the teleport chamber. He figures out the teleport thingie has a backup of him somewhere. He does Doctor-finagling and reboots himself by vaporizing himself, which is how the episode started.

Turns out that "Bird" refers to the story of the bird that pecked its way through a mountain or something similarly-silly. The comparison here is that the Doctor is slowly, one incarnation at at a time, punching his way through the super-diamond wall somehow over a billion years or two.

Yeah.

Okay, so he finally gets through. The creature disintegrates as the door is open and the Doctor exits to find out he was in his Confession Dial, the other McGuffin thingie that's been a season-theme.

And he's popped out on Gallifrey.

Oh, and he claims he's the Hybrid.

So... yeah. As an exercise in watching Capaldi do his thing, I enjoyed the episode. I can gloss over the logistical issues of flesh-and-blood eventually punching through a wall harder than diamond. He's a Time Lord. Whatever works.

Overall, I'm super-tired of these ridiculous and stupid story arcs that Moffatt dreams up. The whole constant deconstruction of the Doctor thing he does really poisons the show for me.

And I'd be willing to deal with it if his deconstructions weren't such utter rubbish.

This whole Hybrid thing came out of nowhere and is just very... um... stupid.

I mean, if you're going to deal with why the Doctor left Gallifrey, it seems to me anyone who has watched the show would take cues from the very beginning of the show.

The Doctor and his granddaughter, Susan, stole a TARDIS (she claimed to have created the name, so arrogance runs in the family, I expect). It's implied they fled some trouble from their home but it wasn't explored until much later. Largely 'cause they didn't have a concept of Time Lords until the Second Doctor's era.

So, back to history: why make up arbitrary bullshit reasons for the Doctor's exit? We know he had at least one child, and presumably a spouse. It's been stated that he's lost family - presumably all of them - at some point. If he was popping off with his granddaughter, one can assume his children, and probably his spouse, were dead.

Instead of going into ridiculous prophesies, why not simply explore how his spouse and children died? Why did the Doctor skip off Gallifrey with his granddaughter instead of just raising her on their homeworld?

Given that the Doctor was in his first incarnation when he skipped out, and how long Time Lords live, I'm curious how he had grandchildren. He must've been a horn-dog by Time Lord standards, but that's neither here nor there.

Oh well. Next week is the end of another lackluster season of Moffatt's reign. Sigh.

Giving Thanks

I am not a "glass is half full" kinda guy, by nature.

I'm inclined to whine and moan at pretty much every little paper cut and bump that comes across my path. It's part of who I am and I'm comfortable with that.

Still, every now and again, I get this weird sense of perspective.

So this Thanksgiving has not been my best. I started it with a fever going into Tuesday night. I spent all Wednesday before Thanksgiving coughing up a lung, shivering, and generally being miserable. Had a fever again going to sleep that night. A tag-team combination of Nyquil and Afrin let me breathe and sleep. The fever broke Thanksgiving morning and the cough was pretty loose with added medications to help it out.

Then I developed an eye infection over the day. I spent part of yesterday at Kaiser to get antibiotics while the cough stubbornly lingers. And my apartment's thermostat is hosed.

You'd think I'd be pretty upset, but all said, I'm finding myself pretty blase about the whole matter. I got to have Thanksgiving with my family. I even baked a pie (which hopefully was baked germ-free) that was well-received. I'd already been planning on lounging around my apartment and web-surfing/online-Xmas-shopping and watching movies. Nothing changed there except I took booze out of the equation.

Just as well, really.

I've thrown on an extra sweater and busted out a portable heater, so it's not unbearably-cold in my apartment. I was even home for the delivery of some eagerly-awaited packages, which made me a bit giddy.

I've also now re-watched Buckaroo Banzai: Adventures Across the Eighth Dimension and watched season one of "Star Wars: Rebels" as well as the extended-cut of The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies. (Tip: The Hobbit movies do not appreciably improve with the extended versions, but there's enough in there that if you're going to sit through these, you may as well get the extended bits and turn it into a drinking game.)

While dealing with ailments, I've had two close friends deliver personal news on their behalf that's certainly made me disinclined to whine too much about my own state of affairs.

I'm not sure what my point is to this post, I suppose. It's trite to say "it could always be worse". True, but trite. Still, it's true enough. I'm certainly grateful for all that I have. I'd be grateful if these ailments would leave so I can enjoy ale again, but that's just being whiny.

Rebel Cry

With all the buzz over the new Star Wars film coming up in December, I've looked at the trailers and read the speculation and felt... nothing. The magic is gone. I feel exactly no thrill or excitement over the upcoming Disney-J.J. Abrams take on the next chapter of the Star Wars saga.

Lens flare nonsense aside, I don't blame J.J. Abrams too much. He likes to build up his mysteries to a ridiculous degree, but I'm mostly okay with that. And Disney, well I'll get to that.

It's not the lack of Lucas that has me apathetic, that's for sure. In fact, I think it's probably a reaction to just how bad the prequel stories were than I can't find myself caring about Episode VII.

I was largely ready to give up on Star Wars altogether.

Then I came across "Star Wars: Rebels".

An animated offering in the manner of the animated "Clone Wars" saga, "Rebels" is a Disney offering that means to bridge the gap between the abomination that was Episode III and the glory of Episode IV.

While "Clone Wars" gave depth and characterization to the travesties that were Episodes II and IIII, "Rebels" truly gives a fantastic picture of an established Galactic Empire slowly delivering a stranglehold on the galaxy.

It's not without its tropes, mind you. "Rebels" stars a rag-tag crew of misfits in a Millennium Falcon knockoff ship called Ghost that's more space pirate than anything.

The story centers around six characters in the crew:

• Ezra Bridger - our obligatory rising hero/teenager of a Disney-vein. He has the Force and the potential to become a powerful Jedi (making the whole Luke Skywalker story all the more into a bitter lie). Living on the streets since he was 7, he's the son of parents who spoke out against the Empire and disappeared. He is armed with an energy slingshot and a smart-ass attitude. Yet for all that, not nearly as annoying as one might expect.
• Kanan Jarrus - a Jedi who escaped Order 66 as a Padawan, Kanan looks like a bounty hunter with his shoulder-and-arm armor. He sports a pony-tail, a blaster, and a lightsaber that's made of two parts to conceal better. He's part Han Solo, part Obi-Wan, and part what Anakin Skywalker should have been if he weren't such a whiny shit. He's the leader of the rebel team.
• Hera Syndulla - a Twi'lek (tentacle-head person) and captain as well as owner of the Ghost. She's effectively the center of the team and the voice of reason. She and Kanan seem to have a little thing going on. She also knows about other rebel cells.
• Sabine Wren - a Mandalorian (think a female Boba Fett) with an artistic manner that expresses in bright colors (both on her armor and in her "tagging" efforts) and in bright explosions. Definitely a fanboy fantasy made real, but she works out surprisingly-well and is an excellent character. Also serves as the tolerant object of Ezra's puppy-dog crush. Poor lad.
• Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios - A Lasat, part of a race made nearly-extinct by the Empire due to an early failed uprising. Apparently Zeb is modeled on the early character sketches of Chewbacca, which I find interesting. More interesting than his faux-Aussie accent.
• C1-10P (aka "Chopper") - based on the early art for R2-D2, he's a temperamental droid made up of spare parts and attitude.

Together they fight stormtroopers, elite Imperials, and your obligatory dark Force-users. Since there can only be two Sith (for reasons), there's other Dark Side users called "Inquisitors" (again, for reasons) who are somehow not Sith. Don't ask. Doesn't really matter.

I've just burned through season one and I have to say "Rebels" was far and above better - story-wise - than the entirety of the prequels. Great stuff. I highly-recommend it for Star Wars fans.

Review: "Hear the Raven"

Huh.

The first episode of Doctor Who since the Eighties to...

Spoilers.





























Still there?



Yeah. So that's it. No more Clara Oswald.

What happened? The Doctor and Clara are on the TARDIS. They get a call from Rigsby, an old friend from last season. Turns out he's got a tattoo counting down on his neck. They arrive and find out he's got some kind of "Quantum something-or-other" on him. Long story short: he's gonna die and aliens are going to kill him.

The investigation leads to a "trap street", a hidden street with aliens living on it. The aliens are under the protection of Ashilda, our immortal Viking woman who is the one who put the tattoo on Rigsby for killing an alien woman.

While the Doctor and Clara poke about, they find out that the tattoo countdown invokes some kind of alien spirit that takes the form of a raven. When the time is up, it kills the tattoo holder. The tattoo can be passed along if both parties are willing, but someone dies.

Clara manages to persuade Rigsby (a new father) to pass the tattoo to her, thinking she'll be safe as Ashilda has guaranteed her safety.

The investigation finds that the alien woman Rigsby allegedly killed is actually alive in stasis. The whole thing is a trap to get the Doctor in place so a teleport bracelet can be put on him for some nefarious purpose. Ashilda turns out to be behind it as a plan to save the alien street.

Then everyone finds out Clara did a tattoo switch. It seems that prevents Ashilda from having any control over the situation and revoking the death sentence. It's implied Ashilda was planning to let the raven kill her to spare Rigsby after the trap was sprung, but Clara has inexplicably cut Ashilda out of the deal somehow.

We then get several minutes of meaningful looks and good-byes before - yes - Clara dies. On screen, no less.

The Doctor is then teleported away, but not before warning Ashilda that he's pissed and she'd best stay out of his way.

The episode ends with the TARDIS marked up in with a pic of Clara and some artwork.

So, yeah. First Companion killed onscreen (permanently) since Adric was killed in "Earthshock". Can't say I'm sorry to see Clara go. She was a vague character that never really found her voice or point in the series. I've heard folks describe her as a "manic pixie girl", and that label fits. She was a sort of Mary Sue (though not quite as bad as River Song) and annoying as a result.

Overall, the episode felt rough, clunky, and excessively contrived. The whole thing was obviously too much of a "part one" of a continued story and Clara's death felt silly and anticlimactic. I expected more somehow.

So yeah. I'm chalking this episode up as weak tea.

Review: Fidelis Co - Alcon Backpack and GTG Duffle Bag

Back when I was still supporting Kickstarter projects, one gained my attention and intrigued me: the GTG Duffle Bag by Fidelis co.

I was expecting to do some weekend traveling at the time and needed a good day bag. The description intrigued me. I figured if it didn't come in time for my planned trip, I'd have another "go bag" to use.

It came in time (a rare Kickstarter indeed) and I made use of it. It worked out perfectly. Had plenty of room, was sturdy, comfortable on my back, and made a perfect airplane carry-on.

Time passed and I continued to commute on BART for work. From time-to-time I have to lug a work laptop around and my normal messenger bags were starting to put a strain on my back. Fidelis, at that time, had sent Kickstarter backers some coupon code or something for their site opening.

Curious, I browsed and saw what I'd forgotten from their Kickstarter offering: they have a backpack. The Alcon Backpack, to be precise.

Moments later, I had an order in. A week after that, I had a parcel at my doorstep (well, at my office, but I quibble).

So I have a lot of bags. The Alcon is easily my favorite backpack and my current commuter bag. It's sturdy, rides well on my back, has comfortable shoulder straps, and has an interesting feature: a hood built in for rainy weather. The flap has a zipper to access the interior (and pull out the hood). The locking mechanism for the flap is very solid and satisfying.

The bag has another interesting feature: one side is a strip that can take Velcro patches. They sell accessory pockets (for example) that one can place on the side of the bag. These pockets aren't flimsy material. They're on pretty solid and would be noticeable if someone thought to pull a pocket off.

I have to say, Fidelis Co. is an impressive company that makes some damn fine bags. I intend to watch them for future offerings and should I need another bag, they're likely going to be my first stop on any search I conduct.

Review: "Sleep No More"

Wow. As "Doctor Who" episodes go, this one was a special brand of WTF.

Spoilers follow. Blah-blah.
















































You were warned.













Okay, so the episode is done in a "found footage" format. No opening credits (first time ever). Narrated by some bespectacled wonk, it plays as shown from various camera angles starting with a crew of four soldiers coming to a space station that's gone quiet. As cliche soldiers go, they're pretty standard: there's the young female captain, the younger mouthy political wonk, the jokester, and the genetically-modified killing machine who happens to have a bit of a crush on the young mouthy wonk.

They get on the station and go through the motions of looking at the poorly-lit surroundings with flashlights.

In grand tradition, they stumble across the Doctor and Clara. There's a moment of guns pointing then the Doctor does the psychic paper thing and everyone is friends.

Then they're attacked by weird lumpy humanoids that growl a lot.

They're separated from jokester guy who later gets killed.

The main group finds a lab with a bunch of pods. Clara gets sucked into one and we all find out that the pods are "Morpheus", a technology that lets you go without sleep. Mouthy wonk guy is proud that he doesn't use it but the captain does, as does so many people back home on Titan.

I'm flashing to "Titan Maximum" as I read that. God I miss that show. Sorry. Going on...

So they find in one of the pods the bespectacled wonk who is narrating. Turns out he's hiding from the monsters in the pods. He's also the guy who created Morpheus.

In a scuffle with the monsters, the group got a part of an arm. Turns out the monsters turn to dust easily. The Doctor analyzes the dust and finds out it's eye-gunk from when you wake up in the morning.

Ew.

Turns out the monsters are made up of eye gunk. Ponder that.

Okay, so there's another attack. Bespectacled guy is apparently eaten by one of the monsters and the group is divided again. Genetic killing machine and mouthy political guy go off in one direction while the Doctor, Clara, and the soldier captain go off in another. There's shenanigans. Killing machine sacrifices himself to save his crush: mouthy political guy, but that guy gets killed a few minutes later.

Meanwhile the Doctor works out that there's actually no cameras anywhere. Not on the soldiers' helmets. Not on the station. Nowhere. Turns out the "found footage" is coming from dust mites of sentient eye gunk that are eating people.

Ponder that for a moment.

Okay, move on.

Turns out bespectacled guy is alive and in-league with the monsters. He's trying to smuggle a creature to Titan to spore and infect all humanity.

He gets shot by the captain, then there's a scuffle with monsters. They flee back to the TARDIS but are cut off. The Doctor performs sonic sunglasses wizardry and destroys the "gravity shields" that are keeping the station in orbit around... oh crap, I forget. Neptune? Doesn't matter.

The creatures are crushed by the increasing gravity and turn to dust. The Doctor, Clara, and soldier-girl get in the TARDIS and flee to safety, planning to go to Titan to destroy all the Morpheus machines causing the creatures to exist.

Then we cut to the footage. Turns out bespectacled wonk is still alive. And he's actually an eye-gunk shell and has been all along. The "found footage" includes an electronic signal (blipped on screen) to infect anyone who watches.

Yup. That's you, audience.

And that's sort of it. I guess everyone dies "Ringu" style"? I... I really don't understand what that ending was all about.

Honestly, the best part of the entire episode towards the last quarter when the Doctor started going on about how nothing that was going on made any sense.

Way to break the fourth wall, Doctor!

I can't tell if this is a two-parter with the next episode. It doesn't appear related in the trailer.

So... yeah. This was sort of a waste of time. Nice mood and ambiance (for "found footage", a trope I truly hate), but a complete and utter failure in plot.

Review: "The Zygon Invasion"

So we get to the two-parter known as "The Zygon Invasion" for Doctor Who. Spoilers. Usual caveats apply. Etc.
















































































Still there? You were warned.







Part one starts off with fighting happening in some unknown place. Fleeing from the fighting is a familiar face: Osgood from U.N.I.T., the Doctor's number one fan-girl. This is, of course, a bit confusing as we saw her get vaporized by "Missy" in last season, but it turns out that there's been two Osgoods since the events of "The Day of the Doctor". One Zygon and one Human. Nobody knows which is which and the Osgoods have been in charge of keeping the peace in the truce between Humans and the Zygons who live in-secret amongst us.

It turns out that a splinter group of Zygons has broken the peace, wanting to live as Zygons and not shapeshifted into humans. So they want "the Osgood Box", some MacGuffin that can be used to end the cease-fire somehow. So they captured Osgood and interrogated her, but not before she was able to send off an SOS to the Doctor.

Meanwhile, Clara finds something amiss in her apartment building and gets snatched by Zygons and replaced.

The Doctor comes and meets with U.N.I.T. and Clara. He wants to talk to the splinter group and negotiate. Kate wants to use some nerve gas Harry Sullivan made to kill Zygons but the Doctor stole. There's a lot of tension.

Clara (secretly a Zygon) and a U.N.I.T. flunky do investigation in London on weird disappearances of people while Kate goes to New Mexico to investigate where Osgood disappeared. The Doctor goes to Turkmanistan to where the renegade Zygons had a training camp.

There is a lot of paranoia resulting in a lot of dead U.N.I.T. people. Clara is revealed as a Zygon before she kills all the U.N.I.T. redshirts with her. Kate is cornered by a Zygon and the Doctor is on a plane returning to the UK when Zygon-Clara calls him to say Clara is dead just before she fires a missile at his plane.



Part two starts off where the cliffhanger ended. Turns out Clara is alive and in a Zygon pod. Being a Mary Sue, Clara is able to use her special Clara mind-powers to influence the Zygon holding her shape and interfere with Zygon-Clara's assassination of the Doctor... mostly. The Zygon-Clara still blows up the plane, but the Doctor and a rescued Osgood (retrieved in the prior episode) escape to safety. Presumably the pilot is killed, but no mention is made either way. Kind of cold, really.

So Zygon-Clara finds out that her interrogation of Osgood does not get her the "Osgood Box" that she believes to be a device to force all Zygons to assume their true form, forcing war between Zygons and Humans.

Frustrated, she goes to Clara's pod and mind-melds with Clara to interrogate her. Turns out Clara knows where the "Osgood Box" is. It's in the Black Archive (from "The Day of the Doctor"). Zygon-Clara meets with Kate Lethbridge-Stewart who returns from New Mexico, apparently replaced by a Zygon.

Zygon-Clara takes Clara's pod with her and they jaunt off to the Black Archive. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Osgood have a bit of banter. The usual thing with the Doctor rambling on (he claims his first name is "Basil", for what it's worth). He wants to know if Osgood is Human or Zygon and she's not telling.

Everything comes to a head in the Black Archive where Zygon-Clara finds out there are two Osgood Boxes, each with two buttons. The Doctor comes on-scene, as does Kate. We get a reenactment of the show-down from "Day of the Doctor" only with these boxes. The Doctor claims one will either release the Zygon-killing nerve gas or detonate the nuke under the Black Archive, depending on which button is pressed. The other one will either force the Zygons into their true form or disable their shapeshifting, turning them pure human forever.

There's a lengthy bit of speeches in which the Doctor tries to convince Kate and Zygon-Clara not to press the buttons. He talks about his role in the Time War and the terrible consequences. It's pretty much the same fare that's been rehashed since 2005, so nothing new there. In an interesting turn of events, his speech works. Kate closes the box, buttons un-pressed. Zygon-Clara is reluctant, but finally agrees to not press the buttons.

Turns out the boxes are fakes. They don't do anything.

The Doctor wipes everyone's memory save for Osgood, Clara, and Zygon-Clara. Turns out this is the fifteenth time this showdown has happened.

Zygon-Clara takes the place of the missing Osgood. The Doctor and Clara jaunt off in the TARDIS. The Osgoods go off for ice cream.



The summary makes this story sound ridiculous and stupid, but I have to say I enjoyed it. The paranoia of the episodes was well-done and the threat was kind of cool. The villain being a splinter group of idiot children was a nice twist. And it was especially-nice that the Doctor's preaching found an audience for a change. Overall, it was pretty enjoyable.

EDIT: so there are a few points that bugged me in this episode:

• Why did the Doctor keep asking Osgood if she was human or Zygon? What did it matter?
• Mary-Sue-ness aside, how is Clara able to perform her bit of psychic mojo against the Zygons?
• Why do they keep portraying Kate Lethbridge-Stewart as borderline bloodthirsty? I thought she was supposed to be more "science" and less "guns".

Review: "Spectre"

Saw Spectre on opening night for the US last night.

In the words of one of my UK friends, it was "Spectre-actular". And I have to agree with her.

Taking place after the events in Skyfall, James Bond finds himself in the midst of yet another super-conspiracy, only this one leads to the evil organization that all Bond long-time fans know of: S.P.E.C.T.R.E.

I loved the film. It was reasonably fast-paced, with solid action and fun. Bond's crew (M, Q, Moneypenny, etc.) got to have some fun this time around and the movie had some familiar faces, especially Andrew Scott (who plays Moriarty on the "Sherlock" series).

Probably my favorite was Léa Seydoux, the "Bond girl". She was a good mix of smart, tough, sexy, vulnerable, and... well... um... sexy. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't totally in-love with her. Well, in-lust. Wait. Where was I?

Oh yes, Spectre. The buzz is that Daniel Craig wants to step down from playing Bond. Certainly this will make a good swan-song, for him.

It's Saving, not Savings, damn it!

Review: "The Girl who Died"/"The Woman who Lived"

I have to say, I'm liking the fact they're doing two-part episodes these days.

So, spoilers. Blah-blah.


















































Still there?



You were warned.









"The Girl who Died" - set in Viking times (only with horned helmets... so no authenticity, but we're talking "Doctor Who", so moving on), the Doctor and Clara arrive and are grabbed by viking raiders who take them back to their village. The best thing about the scene is the vikings destroying the sonic sunglasses (which are not permanently destroyed, alas). The Doctor attempts a bluff by claiming he's Odin and gets trumped by an image of Odin in the skies. He spies a girl (Maisie Williams) who gets his fascination. She is named Ashilda and is unusually clever (and mouthy) for a viking girl.

A bunch of alien soldiers materialize, grab all the warriors in the village, and then grab Ashilda and Clara when Clara uses the broken sonic sunglasses to try to free herself from viking chains.

Ashilda and Clara discover that the aliens zap the warriors to turn them into a sort of testosterone milkshake for the alien masquerading as Odin. Clara tries to bluff freedom for the two of them, but Ashilda winds up challenging the warriors to a duel the next day.

They're returned and Clara tries to convince the Doctor to help. The Doctor intends to abandon the village as the fight is hopeless, but Ashilda and Clara convince him to stay.

The Doctor starts to train the remaining villagers (none of whom are warriors), then comes up with a clever plan to fool the invaders.

Cue fancy hand-waving, culminating in stealing an alien warrior helmet to Ashilda can dream up an illusion to scare off the aliens.

The plan works but Ashilda's heart gives out working the alien helmet and she dies.

The Doctor has one of his melodramatic moments and then uses some alien med tech to bring Ashilda back from the dead. And it makes her immortal. Before he takes off, he leaves another alien immortality chip thing so Ashilda can make an immortal companion if she wants.

To be continued...




"The Woman Who Lived" - Ashilda has now been alive for 800 years and it's the 1600's. She's disguised as a robber known as the Knightmare. The Doctor arrives (sans Clara) hunting alien tech. He stumbles across Ashilda's path and finds out she now calls herself "Me" and can't remember most of her past. She's now cooperating with an alien cat man (seriously, don't ask) to get an amulet that will get him home.

The majority of the episode is Ashilda (aka "Lady Me") and the Doctor talking about the impact of immortality on her and how it's made her numb to humanity.

She wants to travel with him and he's reluctant (why? I don't know. I mean, he traveled with Susan, Romana, Captain Jack, and K-9, all of whom don't have short lifespans, but except for a brief reference to Captain Jack, that point is glossed over).

Turns out she's working with alien cat man 'cause he promised to take her off-world if they get the amulet that can use a person's death to open a portal to his world or something.

Ashilda is ready to kill her manservant but the Doctor pleads for her to remember her humanity. Then some soldiers come to tell Ashilda that they captured a highwayman rival of hers - some guy who tried to rob her earlier and lost - and they plan to hang him. She decides to use his death by hanging to open the portal and leaves the Doctor trapped.

The Doctor finagles an escape and follows. The highwayman is doing stand-up gallows comedy (with truly awful puns that I have to applaud and curse by turns). Everyone arrives, the Doctor gets the people to free the highwayman but Ashilda uses the alien amulet thing to kill the highwayman and open the portal.

So turns out the cat man lied and aliens start blasting through the hole in space. Ashilda and the Doctor use the remaining immortality chip to revive the highwayman, sealing the portal. The cat man is killed.

The Doctor is unsure if the highwayman is immortal, thinking the portal may have drained that energy, but Ashilda is still stuck. She now knows the Doctor won't take her with him because their perspectives are too much alike and it makes them lack empathy. That's why the Doctor has companions, to give him perspective for empathy.

Ashilda reveals she knows of the Doctor by stories and that he has a reputation for cutting off and leaving messes behind. She decides her purpose will be to clean up the aftermath of the Doctor's adventures on Earth.

The Doctor is rocking out in the TARDIS with his electric guitar when Clara returns. She tells the Doctor about some student who took a selfie as a gift to the Doctor for some reason. The Doctor looks at the picture and sees Ashilda in the background, looking at the student and Clara.

All-in-all, I'd have to say these eps were the best of the season thus far. I really liked "The Girl Who Died" and Maisie Williams really carried the episode. If she weren't on as Arya Stark, I'd dig seeing her as a Clara-replacement. The story had an old-style feel with proper villains and good, proper trickery mixed with drama.

I was less-fond of "The Woman Who Lived". Ashilda now is another Mary Sue like River Song, which would be annoying if it weren't Maisie Williams. Still, there was a lot more exposition and navel-gazing than I'd like in the ep and it didn't particularly impress me. Plus the damn sonic sunglasses are back. Oh well.

Marstastic

Just saw The Martian. Finally.

Holy crap that movie was outstanding! Sure, there were differences from the book, but I thought the movie adaptation did an excellent job all the same. Even knowing what was going to happen, I found myself riveted and on the edge of my seat in a few parts.

Damn good movie. I highly recommend it.

Review: "Under the Lake"/"Before the Flood"

I'm a bit late commenting. I could claim allergies, 'cause FSM-knows I've had a ton, but mostly I've just been... digesting.

Undisguised spoilers follow. Read at your own peril and keep in mind this is less of a critical review and more of my frothing rants. I do not make claims to be even-minded, or even coherent.

I figure if "Doctor Who" under Steven Moffatt doesn't have to be coherent, neither do I.

































Still there? You were warned...









Let's start with "Under the Lake".

A call-back to the classic "Doctor Who" era, it starts with a claustrophobic scene of an underwater base with a mix of characters. They find a spaceship and inside there is strange writing that affects them somehow.

Then the ghost appears. It activates the drive of the spaceship killing the commander.

The commander comes back as a ghost and the two ghosts (one dressed as a funeral parlor director for reasons) try to kill the rest of the people on the base.

Cue the arrival of the TARDIS. The TARDIS is unhappy for some reason and the Doctor is trying to comfort it. Then out pops Clara and they go exploring.

They find the base seemingly-abandoned in haste.

The Doctor and Clara encounter the two ghosts that tried killing the base crew. The ghosts look at them but do not otherwise react and leave.

The Doctor and Clara follow, find the spaceship, then see the mysterious words within.

Then the ghosts try to kill them.

The Doctor and Clara flee and find the rest of the crew hiding away in a farady cage, the only thing that block the ghosts from walking through walls.

The crew is a mix of a deaf woman (the now-commander), a young guy who interprets her sign language, a science geek, a short mouthy woman who is a fangirl of the Doctor (she was in military intelligence and had access to U.N.I.T. files), and the perfunctory corporate stooge who everyone is supposed to hate.

We find out the ghosts only come out when the base is on "night cycle" and hide away when it's "day".

Nobody knows why the ghosts are trying to kill them.

Turns out the base is set in a flooded valley that used to be a village of some sort back in the '80's.

Cue ahead. The Doctor investigates and the ghosts get clever. They fool the base computer into thinking it's night and manage to kill the corporate stooge.

By reading the lips of the ghosts, they get an arcane message that the Doctor concludes are some kind of coordinates.

They regain control of the base and use a remote sub to go to the coordinates and recover a suspended animation chamber.

Spooky.

The ghosts then return to try to kill them. The Doctor and Clara get separated. The Doctor, geeky guy, and short mouthy woman get to the TARDIS and the Doctor goes back in time to find out what happened when the spaceship crashed.

The episode concludes with Clara looking outside in the water to see the Doctor's ghost...

Overall, a good episode. Nice suspense. Good cast of characters. Nice threat. Fun crowd. I'm tired of Clara, but otherwise, it was good fare.

Then came...

"Before the Flood" tries very hard to wrap things up.

It starts with the Doctor talking about a paradox. He's talking to the audience, so you just know the writer is clubbing you over the head with his clever story point. You can turn off your viewer and stop now.

So, Clara is trying to parse out that the Doctor is dead (as that Moffatt-era cliche is apparently never, ever going away).

The Doctor, mouthy, and geek (I didn't bother to try to learn the names of the characters) are apparently on the platform of a Russian train station. Geek is sick from time travel. Mouthy is super-excited and name-dropping bits about the Doctor's adventures (and hinting at one that hasn't happened yet). She's got "Companion-material" written all over her.

They find the spaceship and it's crewed by an obsequious, masochistic alien who is a funeral attendant taking the body of "The Fisher King" to Earth to be buried. Because reasons.

There's no writing in the spaceship.

The Doctor calls Clara across time-and-space using his incredibly awesome cellular plan. Clara tells him he's dead and a ghost.

Meanwhile, creepy alien funeral dude finds out the Fisher King isn't dead (or still in-place). The writing is on the wall (literally and figurative) and the alien is killed by something offscreen.

The Doctor, Mouthy, and Geek go to the alien ship and note the writing and missing body. The suspended animation pod has also been moved.

Then the alien chases them. They split up and the alien kills mouthy.

In the present, Clara, deaf-lady, and her boy-interpreter all flee back to the faraday cage and hide, leaving the cell phone outside so Clara can see it and know the Doctor is signalling her she can leave the cage.

Mouthy's ghost appears to them, snags the phone, and that's that.

In the past, the Doctor goes through that tired "I can't change my own past" bullshit that stopped being a thing back in the Third Doctor's time. Turns out the Doctor's ghost in the future is repeating a list of names of those who die - in order, including Clara. After Mouthy, she's up.

The Doctor in the past decides "fuck the rules of time travel if it saves my vapid companion!" (I'm paraphrasing) and decides to try to stop the Fisher King (who is apparently creating the ghosts.

Are you confused yet?

Seriously, I'm glossing over a lot of details, and it's not doing the story much justice, but... it's pretty much this wonky.

Anyway, turns out in the present, the interpreter never read the alien words in the spaceship. Clara persuades him to risk his life by going out amidst the ghosts and getting the phone.

Deaf lady has some things to say to Clara. I need to learn sign language now, 'cause I bet that was awesome.

So the ghosts don't kill interpreter-boy. They trap him. Deaf lady and Clara go out looking for him 'cause Deaf lady is totally hot for her interpreter.

They get separated 'cause Clara is dumb as a stone, and Deaf lady is stalked by a ghost in an awesome scene that almost makes up for the over-complicated story.

In the past, the Doctor has left Geek in the TARDIS and confronts the Fisher King. The Fisher King's nefarious plan is to use dead souls as transmitters for his army 'cause... um... reasons. The Fisher King is an awesome, creepy-looking alien with a giant gun he doesn't appear to want to use on the Doctor. Oh, and like everyone in the Universe, the Fisher King knows all kinds of details about the Time Lords.

Apparently there's been universal news specials or something. Y'know, despite the Time Lords being reclusive, super-powerful, and... oh for God's sake, I can't keep doing this. Moving on.

The Doctor tricks the Fisher King into going outside where the Fisher King gets trapped when the dam blocking the valley from getting flooded blows up (thanks to the Doctor's trickery). The TARDIS does its emergency protocol thing and goes back to the present with Geek inside still mourning Mouthy, with whom he was passionately in-love but couldn't say anything. Like pretty much every character ever in the re-imagined series.

Is my irritation showing?

The ghosts are closing on everyone. The suspended animation chamber in the base starts to open and... you guessed it! The Doctor is inside.

His ghost is, of course, a fake. A hologram. The ghosts are lured into the faraday cage with hand-wavy cleverness and the Doctor uses the Sonic Sunglasses to erase the alien symbols from everyone's minds.

Because thinking of doing that earlier on was apparently not an option to him.

Geek tells interpreter to express his love for Deaf lady. He does. There is much lip-locking. Happiness and joy for those two.

The Doctor and Clara get in the TARDIS and leave. The Doctor essentially admits he was going to let everyone die, including himself, until he realized Clara was going to die.

Essentially he concludes his epic dickishness and then states that he "rewrote" his fate by using details Clara gave him over the phone to try to undo his death by instead doing that fancy paradox trick.

Sigh.

Overall, the two episodes had clever points but it was too convoluted by far. And frankly, the show needs to stop with these tropes now:

• The Doctor dies/is gonna die. We all know it's not going to happen. The show hasn't been canceled. Stop it. Now.
• Exploring the Doctor mythos and deconstructing him. We don't need our hero deconstructed. If you want to masturbate over your Doctor fantasies, write fanfic.
• The Doctor will only move if his Companion is in danger. Seriously? I realize the First Doctor was a bit of a dick, but are you seriously going to revive that trope twelve incarnations later?
• The Sonic Screwdriver/Sunglasses/Magic Wand/Whatever does Deus Ex Machina bullshit. For God's Sake, there's technology and tools out there beyond some sound-generating bit of voodoo. Try something original and new for a change.

Odds-n-ends

Playboy is going to stop publishing naked pictures. Yup. That's apparently a thing. Oh FSM, I got a good laugh hearing that.

---

How is Trump still a thing? Seriously?

---

I recently had an experience with two institutions that reminded me how far to extreme of service companies can go.

The first was a visit to Kaiser Permanente. I trucked out to one of the Kaiser offices to get a flu shot.

They had drive through flu shots.

That's right. Drive. Through.

I didn't need to get out of my car! I just ran down my window and boom. It was done. I didn't even feel the needle.

Feeling flush with that success, I later went to the Post Office to pick up a parcel I apparently had to sign for. Turns out one of my still-in-process Kickstarters came through (Mini-Tool Pen. Very cool.).

So I've got a game that day and am on a bit of a schedule. Still, I go into the post office a good forty-five minutes before the game. I figure that's plenty of time. Right?

Oh silly past-me. You were so innocent.

On a Saturday morning, the post office had one - one - person on-staff. I was a good fifteen people deep from that line. Everyone had parcels and packages. Plural.

In the half-hour I was in that line, three people were served.

Three in thirty minutes.

Needless to say, I didn't get my parcel that day. Indeed, even today, the post office opened late and I had to rush back to my apartment for an online meeting. I didn't manage to get my parcel until nearly lunchtime.

Fucking USPS.

---

I've been reading the "Shadowdance" series by David Dalglish. I'm a good four books in of the six-book series. I bet you think that means I think it's a good series.

Hah.

I admit I'm enjoying it, but it's very much a "commuter-book" for me. It's rocky stuff with some serious cliches and excessive melodrama.

In TV terms, it's '80's television fare.

I have two books to go to finish and intend to, but I'm taking a break now to try out Jim Butcher's "Aeronaut's Windlass" book. First in his "Cinder Spires" series, I admit it's a rough start, but it's growing on me a lot now. I have high hopes.

Why I'm done with Kickstarter

I did the math.

I've backed over 70 projects since 2011. Most funded. I've gotten some great stuff from backing Kickstarter projects.

That said, I've backed some obvious frauds. I figure there's a good $300 I'll never see again thanks to some asshole crooks.

The odds aren't bad overall (that constitutes three or four projects out of 70+) but what gets me is Kickstarter as an institution.

When someone runs off with your money, you don't know for months. Some projects are just bad at communicating, after all. And if you complain to Kickstarter, it's a black hole. They do exactly jack shit beyond saying "Too bad. Read the TOS."

They do nothing to help out the project supporters once Kickstarter gets their money. They don't allow for a way to contact the project creators. They don't provide a damn thing.

Frankly, I find that unacceptable.

I know some court rulings are starting to back crowdfunding project backers, but that requires legal action and frankly it's not worth it for the cash lost.

Easier to just walk away from Kickstarter and similar crowdfunding sites unless I'm very sure.

A shame. It was a nice idea, but I'm done.

Review: "The Magician's Apprentice"/"The Witch's Familiar"

Just finished part two of the start of Series Nine of the revived "Doctor Who".

Much commentary to follow.

Much spoilerage in said commentary.

Essentially I'm ranting. If you read this blog (FSM help you), you probably have a sense of the kind of incoherent nonsense I'll blather on about.

Rather than bother with the whole deprecated font tag trick, I'll just put in a bunch of page breaks so you don't accidentally view my spoilery nonsense.




































































Still there? You were warned...






Okay, here goes:

"The Magician's Apprentice" starts off with a war on a battlefield. Mix of technologies where a biplane uses blasters and soldiers on the ground have scanning devices and bows and arrows. A soldier spies a kid running from a battle and tries to help the kid out. The kid and the soldier wind up in a field of "Hand Mines". Creepy-as-hell hands with eyes in the palm that grab you and pull you into the ground. The soldier gets snagged and the kid is trapped.

The kid calls for help and a sonic screwdriver lands at his feet. The Doctor is there and tells the kid he's got a one-in-a-thousand chance of surviving and to disregard the odds and focus on the one tiny chance. He asks the kid's name. The kid replies: "Davros".

The Doctor realizes he's on ancient Skaro during that generational war between the Thals and the Kaleds. He pops into the TARDIS and abandons young Davros, the future creator of the Daleks, to his fate.

We next get the tired Moffatt trope of some sinister figure hunting for the Doctor.

Yup. Apparently everyone and their cousins can just bop around through time and space without needing a TARDIS and can just randomly question people as a way to find the Doctor. 'Cause that makes sense somehow.

This figure, called "Colony Saaff" or something like that, is a creepy amalgam of snakes that's working for Davros.

Why a snake man and not some kind of Dalek? Oh, silly reader, don't ask questions.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Clara is teaching rugrats about what a great kisser Emily Dickenson was when she spies a plane frozen in the air. Turns out every aircraft in the world is frozen in a time bubble.

Oh that's right, it's the Master returned as "Missy". Missy froze time to get Clara's attention. It seems Missy has been delivered (somehow) the Doctor's "Confessional Dial", a sort of recorded last will and testament as he's going to die.

Yup. We're back to another tired Moffatt trope of the Doctor's death, which we know won't happen as the show hasn't been canceled.

Anyway, Missy is trying to find the Doctor as he's disappeared. Needs Clara's help. With U.N.I.T.'s incomprehensible algorithms, they discover the Doctor is in medieval England having an axe-fight, only in the Doctor's case he's on a tank and has an electric guitar.

And the crowd is rocking out. Because electric guitar apparently has universal appeal, save for my parents' and grandparents' generations. So... yeah. Um. Moving on.

Missy and Clara reunite with the Doctor and Colony Saaff appears because reasons. Colony weirdo says Davros is dying and wants to see the Doctor.

The Doctor lets Colony Saaff handcuff him with a snake (again, WTF?) to transport him to Davros. Missy and Clara also agree to come along, cuffed and all because... um... yeah. Moving on.

Davros, it turns out, is on a space station that isn't really a space station but is the planet Skaro disguised because... um... I really don't know. Why would the Daleks bother to hide their planet? If the Time Lords are toast (and the Daleks seem to think they are during this episode) nobody in the universe can threaten them, or even resist them, so why hide anything?

For that matter, why haven't they just conquered/obliterated the universe? Argh. I give up.

Anyway, the Doctor is chatting with Davros while the Daleks find Missy and Clara, then exterminate them to the Doctor's horror. Oh, and apparently the Daleks always knew where the Doctor was and had an agent in the medieval times. They snagged the TARDIS and vaporize that too.



So yeah. Jump to "The Witch's Familiar". Of course Missy and Clara aren't dead. Missy and Clara had found the Doctor in the past using vortex manipulators (I guess Missy lacks a TARDIS of her own?). So when the Daleks tried to disintegrate Missy and Clara, Missy performed some hand-wavy bullshit to teleport Clara and her away, burning out the vortex manipulators.

Cue lots of somewhat interesting conversation between the Doctor and Davros. In a nutshell:

• The Doctor tells Davros that Gallifrey survived and is out there somewhere (he'll doubtless regret that later).
• Davros makes lots of maudlin noises about he and the Doctor being almost friends.
• Davros talks about some prophesy on Gallifrey about a hybrid race between a warrior race and the Time Lords or something. How does Davros know anything about stuff that happens on Gallifrey? I have no idea at all.

Missy and Clara stumble about in the Dalek sewers, where decaying Daleks, who have now become goo, are residing as they "can't die" somehow. Missy arranges for her and Clara to capture a Dalek and Missy forces Clara into the Dalek so they can get into the Dalek city.

Meanwhile Davros reveals his plan: turns out he's been living off the life-force of the Daleks and playing on the Doctor's compassion to give him "one last sunrise". The Doctor can apparently share a bit of his regeneration energy (does this mean he's burning regenerations like he did with the hand or does this somehow, mysteriously, not count, Moff?). It's a trick and Davros and Colony Saaff try to suck out all the Doctor's regeneration energy to somehow make the Daleks more powerful.

Missy steps in and kills Colony Saaff, saving the Doctor from dying. And the Doctor reveals he let himself get pulled into the trap so he could regenerate the sewer Daleks, who flood out to kill the still-living Daleks.

The Doctor abandons Davros and flees with Missy. Missy tries to fool the Doctor into killing Clara while Clara is still in a Dalek shell, but that doesn't work out. Missy gets stuck on Skaro, the Doctor escapes with Clara and using his sonic sunglasses (he's done with the screwdriver, apparently) he re-forms the TARDIS through more hand-waving then he and Clara watch the Dalek city burn. The Doctor then goes back in time to save little Davros because compassion.


Whew!

All-in-all, it's classic Moffatt. Excellent mood and great dialog but the plot is utter trash and nonsensical.

Capaldi carries the episodes, as does Gomez's Missy. For all that, I'm seriously praying Moffatt leaves the show soon.

Doctor Who - latest season

Just for the record, I have seen the season opener: "The Magician's Apprentice". I've decided not to comment in this blog until I've seen part two - "The Witch's Familiar" - and digested it.

Synchronicity

I'm out of groceries. Got back from the dentist earlier and started pondering dinner. Didn't feel like cooking dinner so I went out. I'd eaten a heavy lunch that was sitting rather solidly in the stomach still, but I wanted dinner knowing full well I'd be hungry later.

So I went out to sushi. Fairly light and treated myself to a bottle of sake.

While there, I ran into a couple of friends. Friends I owe a meal and drinks to, no less.

Nice bit of coincidence. I had company for dinner and was able to pay off a debt at the same time.

Life's kinda weird that way.

A Whovian Plea

It's official: Jenna Coleman is leaving "Doctor Who" at the end of the season.

As a fan of the show since the late '70's, I make this plea to you Steven Moffatt: please follow her.

Look, I get it. You're a huge fan. You've done some fantastic work. "Blink" was, in my opinion, the best episode of "Doctor Who" ever written. You've done outstanding stuff with creepy, faerie-tale stories.

Seriously, you get cred for that. But your term as showrunner for "Doctor Who" has been a bit of a disaster.

I liked the Matt Smith era. Smith was an outstanding Doctor. I thought Amy Pond and Rory Williams were brilliant additions. It was a bit cute to have the Doctor float in and out of their lives.

Yup. Good stuff.

Too bad the rest was shit.

You just had to go nuts with your hand-wavy timey-whimy bullshit, didn't you? That whole Pandorica storyline that never ever even attempted to make sense? Just insulting. The lack of good monsters? Sad. Oh you had your trademark Weeping Angels appear, but you couldn't even be bothered to keep them consistent between appearances!

You brought back the ever-so-tired Daleks for a lot of yawns.

You had the Zygons walk on as an afterthought and comic relief.

But you couldn't stop there, could you? You were still mentally in your days of writing "Coupling", so you just had to wack-off on a page and create your little dream Mary Sue of River Song, didn't you?

Clever idea, that. A woman who functions in reverse time to the Doctor's timeline.

Except you didn't do that, did you? She was always "in his future", with your timey-whimey, hand-wavy bullshit that never attempted to make sense.

She's better at the TARDIS than the Doctor. The TARDIS talks to her. She was born in the Time Vortex and automatically becomes a Time Lady until she sacrifices it to the Doctor in a creepy, nonsensical story.

Dude. Mary Sue. When you make a character that supplants the title character, it's time for you to put your fanfic away and play a new game.

But you weren't done there, were you Moff? You go and create Clara Oswald.

Now, I was a huge fan of Coleman's character in the Xmas special she appeared in. She was a character not centered in the tired 21st century working middle-class trope. She was clever, charming, and new.

And you killed her off.

Oh, you weren't done. I mean, you'd already toyed with having her appear as a genius Mary Sue who turned out to be a Dalek. That was cute, by the way.

Unable to stop with that, you had to have some sort of inane, ridiculous plot in which some boring 21st century version of her becomes the Doctor's Manic Pixie Girl savior.

Whomever came up with "Manic Pixie Girl" as a name for a trope, deserves a beer/cocktail, by the way. That's genius.

Anyway, back to you Moff. You've been increasingly ridiculous. You have these poorly-written, nonsensical story arcs dotted with crap standalone stories (the Moon is an egg? Seriously?) throughout your tenure. You keep trying to romance up the Doctor, which is not what this show is about!

Seriously, you turned the Master into a demented Mary Poppins.

WHY????

You need to stop Steven. You're only hurting the show. Please step down and move on. As a fan, I ask - indeed, I beg - this of you.

Review: The Fjallraven Reporter Lite Jacket

Living in the San Francisco Bay Area is glorious. You really never get much "weather", as such. Go east of the Berkeley/Oakland hills in Summer and it's goddamn blistering hot. In winter, it's chilly (if not outright cold). Go south to San Jose and it's warm (even in winter). It's rarely cold enough to snow. It's microclimate heaven.

That said, it can get cool at times. When that fog rolls in and you're bar-hopping in the City, it pays to have a light coat.

I found myself at one point with a bit of REI money, a coupon, and a need for a light jacket for my job in San Francisco.

So I got the Fjallraven Reporter Lite Jacket.

It's a well-named coat. Just light enough that it's comfortable in the increasingly warm summer mornings, but breathable enough to not be hellish in a sweaty, packed, poorly-ventilated BART car.

Plus: pockets! SO MANY POCKETS!

It's a polyester/cotton blend that feels comfortable without that plastic-y polyester feel. It wears well and is pretty durable. It's probably my favorite light jacket at the moment for those odd days in Summer when I need a light jacket in the morning or evening.

Sharp Things: the DPx Aculus 3d

Yes, I bought another knife.

The DPx Aculus 3d crossed my path due to the wonders of the Internet. I honestly can't remember where I was in my browsing when I came across it. I was taking a break from studying for a certification exam and my higher cognitive functions were doubtless-compromised.

Regardless, it was on sale at the time and I coughed up for a new knife for my collection of sharp, pointy things.

My daily carry knives alternate between my Sebenza 21 and my TAD Gear Dauntless Mk3. Both are excellent folder knives, but both have quirks that make me switch between the two.

The Sebenza 21 is a small thing. It's just small enough that it's a little awkward to open one-handed (which is potentially a problem with a sharp blade). It also has a tendency to ride out of my pocket when I clip it to the edge of my pocket instead of letting it sit in the bowels of my pockets with my keys, coin purse, and all that crap. I've almost lost it twice on BART and that makes me nervous.

The Dauntless is a beefier knife, but is fussy in opening and the screw that keeps the blade in the handle has a tendency to loosen of its own accord, making me wary of losing it at an inopportune moment and having the blade get loose in my pocket.

The things I have to worry about...

So the DPx Aculus is an excellent third blade and fast becoming a favorite, despite being a PITA to type.

The handle is, according to the DPXGear site, crafted of a solid block of titanium. It's curved to fit nicely in the palm of the hand and has a cool pattern to it that's both aesthetically-pleasing and provides a good grip. The blade is sharp and deploys fairly-smoothly one-handed despite the lack of a thumb stud. Further, it comes with a 1/4" hex base tungsten carbide insert glass breaker at the end of the handle, for those times when you need to break glass but don't want to use your elbow/foot/neighbor's head/whatever. The locking mechanism is a bit fussy, requiring two hands to unlock and fold the knife at times, but otherwise it's been a great purchase.

I forgive my lower-cognitive self for making the purchase and approve of the timing, as I apparently just caught the sale window. The knife has since jumped up to an eyebrow-raising $400 as of today.

Given that a Zombie-Tools Apokatana runs just under $430 and the Zakasushi runs a smidge less than $340, I'm not sure I would have gone for the non-sale price.

Da bus

Due to a tragedy in San Francisco today, BART was effectively shut down for my commute hours. So I gave the AC Transit bus line a go.

It was a surprisingly-smooth, easy, stress-free trek home. I now understand why so many of my co-workers prefer the bus to BART.

I'll probably stick with BART for the most part. It's simply faster - when its running - but I think I'll keep the AC transit bus in-mind. It took the sting out of what was an otherwise horrible commute.

Review: "Willful Child" by Steven Erikson

I want to preface this by saying I was - initially - a great fan of Erikson's "Malazan" fantasy series. It was great stuff until it collapsed under the weight of its insane mythology and became a muddled mess of WTF.

I actually was so disgusted with the series, I never did read the conclusion. I'm not convinced it will offer me closure or satisfaction.

So when my friends recommended Erikson's "Willful Child", I was skeptical. I was told it's a parody of Star Trek and quite funny. Erikson does do funny very well (his novellas of a pair of wandering necromancers in his Malazan world were quite entertaining), so I ultimately gave it a chance.

I devoured it in about two days (pacing myself on BART). I couldn't put it down, frankly.

"Willful Child" is indeed a parody of "Star Trek" in every possible way and it does so gloriously. Indeed, the intro reminds me of the only episodes of the terrible "Enterprise" prequel series that I enjoyed: the ones that dictate how the mirror universe starts.

At first, "Willful Child" seems to be about a macho idiot. Give it a chance. The story does seem to be going somewhere (and yes, the protagonist is an oversexed, macho sort, but he's not really an idiot so much as he's sort of insane).

If you like humor, "Star Trek", and insane, I suggest giving it a read.

Review: "Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation"

I took the day off to decompress after a family wedding. In-between various activities (some healthy, some decidedly less-so), I decided to catch a matinee of Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation.

Can't say I regretted it.

In terms of plot, the film is painfully-shy of any depth. It follows the formula of the previous films: Contrived situation takes place alienating Ethan Hunt and his loyal team (in this case, the entire IMF) and they have to cooperate to bring down BAD GUYS in ridiculous, overly-complex actions.

It would be an entirely-forgettable film save for the performances of Simon Pegg (playing techno-nerd Benji Dunn) and the outstanding Sarah Ferguson who plays the one female character of note: Ilsa Faust.

Cue the captures, escapes, insane fight scenes, chase scenes, gun fights, and tear-off masks (gotta have those). They brought back alumni from previous films in the form of Pegg (playing Dunn), Jeremy Renner (playing the whiny William Brandt who is a pointless character in the film), and Ving Rhames (playing Luther Stickell, the weirdly-loyal backup man to Cruse's Hunt).

Following what appears to be a tradition for this franchise, they didn't bring back any of the past female IMF team members. Not sure why. Paula Patton and Maggie Q would have had more impact than Renner's Brandt or Rhames's Luther.

Still, it really was Ferguson's Ilsa Faust who stole every scene she was in, hand's down. Whether it was kicking ass - barefoot - in a room full of thugs (to rescue Hunt), swimming in an underground vault (again, to rescue Hunt), owning a motorcycle chase, or playing a deep-cover spy, her character is really the main bit of fresh air in the film.

The only bit that felt forced (I hate to say "contrived" in a film that is nothing but...) was Faust's clear fondness for Ethan Hunt (who, I believe, is still married - albeit secretly - as of the last film).

I'd pay to see a film with Sarah Ferguson in the lead as an action heroine anytime.

Overall, I'd give Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation my stamp of approval. It was what I was expecting: mindless action fun and offered more than advertised with Sarah Ferguson's performance.

Review: "The Annihilation Score"

Finished the latest of the Laundry novels by Charles Stross. "The Annihilation Score" continues the tales of the Laundry, told this time from the perspective of Monique "Mo" O'Brien, the wife of Bob, the narrator of the previous books.

An entertaining read, this time with a theme of superheroics mixed with office politics. I'm honestly not sure how to properly review this book. I liked it but it was a bit clunky in parts. It's not a book one can really read without having read the previous Laundry books. And the melodramatic parts certainly seem to drag on and on.

I'm wondering what Stross's endgame will be for this series.