Friday, September 18, 2015

A Whovian Plea

It's official: Jenna Coleman is leaving "Doctor Who" at the end of the season.

As a fan of the show since the late '70's, I make this plea to you Steven Moffatt: please follow her.

Look, I get it. You're a huge fan. You've done some fantastic work. "Blink" was, in my opinion, the best episode of "Doctor Who" ever written. You've done outstanding stuff with creepy, faerie-tale stories.

Seriously, you get cred for that. But your term as showrunner for "Doctor Who" has been a bit of a disaster.

I liked the Matt Smith era. Smith was an outstanding Doctor. I thought Amy Pond and Rory Williams were brilliant additions. It was a bit cute to have the Doctor float in and out of their lives.

Yup. Good stuff.

Too bad the rest was shit.

You just had to go nuts with your hand-wavy timey-whimy bullshit, didn't you? That whole Pandorica storyline that never ever even attempted to make sense? Just insulting. The lack of good monsters? Sad. Oh you had your trademark Weeping Angels appear, but you couldn't even be bothered to keep them consistent between appearances!

You brought back the ever-so-tired Daleks for a lot of yawns.

You had the Zygons walk on as an afterthought and comic relief.

But you couldn't stop there, could you? You were still mentally in your days of writing "Coupling", so you just had to wack-off on a page and create your little dream Mary Sue of River Song, didn't you?

Clever idea, that. A woman who functions in reverse time to the Doctor's timeline.

Except you didn't do that, did you? She was always "in his future", with your timey-whimey, hand-wavy bullshit that never attempted to make sense.

She's better at the TARDIS than the Doctor. The TARDIS talks to her. She was born in the Time Vortex and automatically becomes a Time Lady until she sacrifices it to the Doctor in a creepy, nonsensical story.

Dude. Mary Sue. When you make a character that supplants the title character, it's time for you to put your fanfic away and play a new game.

But you weren't done there, were you Moff? You go and create Clara Oswald.

Now, I was a huge fan of Coleman's character in the Xmas special she appeared in. She was a character not centered in the tired 21st century working middle-class trope. She was clever, charming, and new.

And you killed her off.

Oh, you weren't done. I mean, you'd already toyed with having her appear as a genius Mary Sue who turned out to be a Dalek. That was cute, by the way.

Unable to stop with that, you had to have some sort of inane, ridiculous plot in which some boring 21st century version of her becomes the Doctor's Manic Pixie Girl savior.

Whomever came up with "Manic Pixie Girl" as a name for a trope, deserves a beer/cocktail, by the way. That's genius.

Anyway, back to you Moff. You've been increasingly ridiculous. You have these poorly-written, nonsensical story arcs dotted with crap standalone stories (the Moon is an egg? Seriously?) throughout your tenure. You keep trying to romance up the Doctor, which is not what this show is about!

Seriously, you turned the Master into a demented Mary Poppins.


You need to stop Steven. You're only hurting the show. Please step down and move on. As a fan, I ask - indeed, I beg - this of you.

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