Dear Apple

Dear Apple,

Thank you so much for yet another update to iTunes.

I didn't have enough frustration today. A software update to the fetid bloatware you call a management interface was exactly what I needed to round off my evening.

Not only did your update reset all my settings, but it locked my iPod (already a temperamental little thing) and forced me to do two unnecessary reboots.

Oh and I had to wipe all the music on my iPod and re-copy it all over again.

Thanks. I really didn't have better things to do with my time.

I shall endeavor to avoid updates in the future. They never seem to do anything positive, unless causing my computer to lock up is a desired effect. I assure you that I do not consider this a desired effect. Just for the record.

I look forward to traveling with my iPod, by the way. It's flagging battery life and tendency to freeze is a source of non-stop entertainment and joy. I can see where your sterling reputation as manufacturers of fine products is so well-deserved.

I wouldn't consider buying a different product with a less-bloated and annoying interface! Whatever would I do with the freed system resources on my PC?

Many friends strongly encourage me to get an iPhone. I can only imagine how much fun it would be for me to tie all my telephonic needs into one of your products. I'm sure I'd be thrilled with it!

Until then, I shall weep bitter tears at the lack in my life.

In closing, please kindly suffer the indignities of involuntary bowel movements for the balance of your lifetime. May your genitals be scalded by acid and white-hot fire. May migraines haunt your every waking moment and nightmares thrive in your sleep.

Sincerely,

A customer who is less-than-thrilled with your iTunes interface