[Roll with it here, this is just stream-of-consciousness randomness brought on by DST]
The Bill of Bacon Rights:
1) It is the natural born right of each free individual to have delicious bacon, at whatever time of the day or night, that one feels the desire for that thing.
2) Hipsters are annoying and should be fixed.
3) It is every citizen's right to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
4) Zombies are great as fuel for the fire that cooks the bacon. Mmm... zombie-mequite. Applewood is better, though.
Okay, so these aren't really "rights". Pay no attention to the bacon behind the curtain.
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