Awkwardly Awesome

Some five or six years ago, I visited China on a tour. It was a fun trip. I got to see the Great Wall, Tienanmen Square, the "Forbidden City", the Terracotta Warriors, the Three Gorges Dam, and a bajillion other things that were overwhelmingly awesome.

The only thing from that trip that distracted from the awesome was the air pollution.

We were lucky in Beijing. The weather was windy and apparently blew all the smog away, so we didn't have any trouble. Where I hit personal critical mass was in Shanghai.

I was hoofing it along some street or another to the waterfront and the air was so thick with automobile exhaust fumes that you could cut it with a knife... after about five minutes of hard work.

My eyes were a lovely shade of red. I developed a chest cough that sounded like I was dying. I lost my voice.

I could have used this.

I have visited Japan and China now. I used to think it odd to see folks wandering around in broad daylight sporting surgical masks. In Japan it was explained to me that folks do that 'cause they've got a cold they'd rather not share with others, though sometimes it's to filter crappy air in their cities. I was told in China, it's mostly to try to filter out the pollution.

This "Totobobo Mask" thingie looks vaguely like something out of dystopian science fiction, but I sure could've used it in Shanghai.

Though, I have to admit one thing. If I'd had it, I'd have constantly been wandering around saying stupid stuff like: "Luke! I am your father!"

Nobody would've gotten it. It would have been sad.