Fortunes

Fortunes acquired from my uber-bag of fortune cookie rejects thus far:

You will be rewarded for your efforts within the month - this begs the question as to which efforts said fortune refers. That's a rather broad category.

You will soon have the opportunity to improve your finances - Wait! Does this tie in with the one above? Is my Lottery ticket any good? I should find it and check!

You should [censored] - No. Not printing that one. It's too stupid.

It's time to treat yourself to something special - Okay! Thanks! I will! Oh wait, I always do that. Something extra special, then? That's gonna require a lot of cash...

You will soon get something special because of your charm - wait... so are the fortunes telling me I'm gonna find a sugar-momma? Is a somewhat-immoral career change in my future? This is kinda wrong.

A romantic mystery will soon add interest to your life - Huh. This could mean many things.

I've eaten about half the bag of cookies so far (which, for the record, is a ridiculous amount of sugary junk).

[Addendum:] I'm starting to think the fortunes are bullshit. I checked my Lottery ticket. Wasn't worth the paper it's printed on.

How disappointing.