Even more!

Your home is a pleasant place from which you will draw happiness - it's like they know about my DVD stash and my comic book collection.

Hm... now I'm worried about stalker-burglars. I was wondering what that creepy fellow in the trench coat was doing the other morning...

Rely on long time friends to give you advice. - out of respect for my long term friendships I shall refrain from commenting.

Soon someone new coming into your life will be a best friend - wow. I think this fortune just called me easy. F***ers...

Seek friendship and you will find someone special this month. - Hang on. Is this fortune saying my potential-friends are easy too? Someone at this fortune cookie factory needs a little smackdown.

Now is the time to call loved ones at a distance. Share your news. - "Hello? Uncle Bob? I'm broke. Care to help out? Kthxbye!"

Your lost possession will be found within the month. - That bag of hundred-dollar bills is going to turn up? SWEET!

Oh, it has to be my possession? Well, crap.

Tomorrow is a good day for trying something new - I think I'll try different painkillers, thanks.