Thoughts on "The Hobbit: Bloat of the Five Armies" (or something like that)

Just saw the third Hobbit flick.

I hold to my previous opinions on these films. They're not adaptations of Tolkien's novel. They're takes on a 13-year-old boy's Dungeons & Dragons campaign that was inspired vaguely by the book as half-read then turned into a comic book, then filtered into a video game, and then distilled into a sound byte for marketing wonks.

It's a pretty film but bloated, excessive, and ridiculous in so many parts.

The funny thing is that I liked all the actors. They all did fine with their roles. I enjoyed them all on screen (though I wanted more of Beorn throwing down with the Orcs). The story was just... unnecessarily-inflated with garbage while skipping over actual valid stuff from the book.

Tolkien isn't spinning in his grave. He's breaking free as a Nazgul to seek revenge for the butchery done to his story.