Countdowns

Yeah, yeah. It's almost 2012.

I'm personally thrilled to see 2011 go. It was a shitty, shitty year.

Oh, some good stuff happened. A couple of kids were born to friends of mine. Other miscellaneous stuff.

Overall, it was otherwise shit and I'm glad to see this goddamn year end.

Happy F***ing New Year.

The Spirit of the Holidaze

Ninja Skillz - Rope vs Sword

I'm sure some pervert out there is thinking this is hentai. Sickos.

This is pretty awesome. Appropriately-enough, seen on the Awesomer blog.

Wow

Watch to the end. It's like these guys understand....

Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead

Well, Kim Il Jong is dead, anyway.

I guess that can go into the "good" column for 2011.

Will be interesting to see what happens next in North Korea. Will Kim Il Jong's son be just as batshit crazy?

Will Kim Il Jong rise from the dead and start snacking on the brains of the living?

Will the zombie meme ever die?

I need more coffee...

[Edit] So I guess I have his name wrong. It's Kim Jong Il? How embarrassing. [/Edit]

Balls of the Week

The Daily Show
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... WHAT???

"It Can't Happen Here"

Some years back, my father gave me a book to read: "It Can't Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis.

It was topical enough. The crimes of 9-11 were fresh in everyone's mind and mob mentality was sweeping the nation. Peopl wanted blood for the crimes committed by a small group of homicidal lunatics and they didn't care what price had to be paid.

The book was a pretty scary read. It was published in 1935 and satirized Hitler's rise to power by writing how a similar fascist movement rises to power in a mythical America.

Not quite seventy years later, the myth seemed to be getting closer to reality.

It's now 2011. We've had "Change" thanks to a compelling political campaign put on by Barak Obama back in 2004. I have to admit, I didn't think we - as a country - could do worse than Bush and Cheney. I still think Obama is better than those two douchebags, but the Dumbocrats are proving that the difference between them and the Repugnicans is barely-measurable.

If you haven't heard of the Indefinite Detention bill, you haven't been paying attention. Can't really blame you, given the Holidaze madness and all that.

No wait, I really can. We should all be paying attention to the actions of those in power, especially in this era of Occupy politics.

Anyway, the bill reinforcing the government's power to toss the 14th Amendment (that whole bit about due process) and indefinitely-detain anyone labelled a "terrorist" without hearing or trial just passed the House and is going to get signed into law by the President.

To say this is utter and complete bullshit doesn't quite cover it.

This country has stumbled in our history when it comes to civil rights. The internment camps for Japanese Americans during World War II was - simply put - an abomination. The "red-baiting" powers grabbed by Congress under Truman in the 1950's were disgusting.

This sort of legislation is as un-American as one can get. It's more than a mere mockery of our Constitution. It's a systematic torture and murder of the civil rights granted in our nation and a rape of the foundations of our culture.

We need to toss both the Repugnicans and Dumbocrats out of office and power altogether. They've proven time and time again that they're just tools for making this country into the sort of fascist powers our parents' and grandparents' generations fought against in the 20th century.

This shit is just sick.

It may be Quixotic, but I'm going to focus my personal efforts into contributing more to the causes I know will put up a fight against this utter and complete nonsense:

* The ACLU
* Amnesty International
* The Electronic Frontier Foundation

We can do better than the status-quo of greed and fear-driven leadership. We have to.

Argh. I hate being serious.

Tipping Point

Just about halfway through December. Xmas is nearly upon us. 2011 is almost over.

Can't wait for that last bit.

Now I just get to hope that all the remaining Xmas orders arrive before Xmas. Actually, I'd prefer they arrived before my office closes, as I had 'em shipped there.

Whee.

After that, it's a matter of laying low, watching people transform into crazed lunatics, and drink enough that I don't notice if I'm one of them.

I've noticed people get really, really weird in December. I can't tell if it's some sort of Holidaze loneliness thing or if it's an avoidance tactic for holiday stresses or something else. Seems to manifest in an awful lot of people, though.

I cannot wait for this year to end. I know I've said it a lot, but I pretty much loathe 2011. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been if it were an election year.

You know, like 2012... oh shit.

Gah!

The Eight "Rather You Didn'ts"

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) is pretty flexible, as creators go. I attribute this to being largely a mass of cooked pasta noodles and meatballs. Even partially-cooked pasta is pretty flexible.

Anyways...

So there's not really commandments in the Pastafarian faith. There are some "Rather You Didn'ts" given to the pirate Captain Mosey on Mount Salsa. There were originally ten, but Mosey was apparently a bit of a butterfinger and dropped a couple.

So with that, I give you the Eight "Rather You Didn'ts":

---
1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go fuck yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bitches.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
I. Ending poverty
II. Curing diseases
III. Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
---

So now you know some of the core tenants to the Pastafarian faith. Try not to get too excited.

Carbs of the Soul

I'll admit I've been thinking about it for a while.

I finally bit the linguini and became an ordained Pastafarian minister. The certificate arrived yesterday in a plain white cardboard envelope.

I was overwhelmed with joy and shared this with a number of friends whom I'm confident would not immediately attempt to burn me at the stake.

My original excuse was that I thought it would be funny to be able to officiate marriages. A little research revealed that it's pretty easy to do that in my county-of-residence and California as a whole, so it wasn't really necessary.

It added a certain gravitas (gravy-tas?) to the idea, though.

I celebrated the occasion by hitting Pasta Pomodoro for lunch then purchasing a frame for my certificate. It now proudly adorns a wall in my apartment next to an old photo of dogs playing poker.

Yeah. I live life with class, style, and panache.

That's one goal for 2011 down. About a week and a half left in the year to look at the rest of the list...

Oh Happy Day!

I never thought Mondays would ever be good.

And then Danger 5 came into my life.

New episode up. Oh the joy!

Best video(s) of 2011

and

Jon Stewart sings it

Jon Stewart covers the utter and complete bullshit that is the National Defense Authorization act.

You know, the little bit of Senate-approved legislation that pretty much rapes the Fourth Amendment and then beats it to death with a shovel and dumps it in a ditch.

That legislation.

Anyways, clips:

The Daily Show
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The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

2011

In about 26 days, the year 2011 will end.

I won't be sorry to see it go.

Every year has its good and its bad. In my personal ledger, 2011 has had an extraordinary amount of entries in the "bad" column.

The latest is discovering my bank account may be compromised by some skimmers. I don't see any activity that's inappropriate on my account, but I'm in one of those lovely risk zones.

So I have to weigh whether or not I should close my account and open a new one right around the holidaze.

I really didn't need this little bit of drama right now.

Could be worse, I suppose.

Still, I'm ready for 2011 and all its baggage to go fuck off somewhere.

A happy Monday?

Danger 5 released a new episode today (yesterday? Whenever).

If you ever watched the cheesy '60's spy shows ("The Man from U.N.C.L.E.", "The Avengers", or even "The Prisoner"), you need to be watching "Danger 5".

If you don't get it, well... that makes me sad for you.

Brothers. The Big Ones.

While reading BoingBoing, I found this amidst their usual selection of fascinating offerings: Spy Files.

It's a WikiLeaks associated project showing surveillance by nation.

Creepy stuff.

Realization

It's freakin' DECEMBER.

How the hell did this month sneak up on me like that?

December isn't exactly a ninja month. Bloody hell.

2012 is just around the corner. While watching time fly isn't necessarily something I want, I've pretty much loathed the majority of 2011, so I won't be sorry to see this fucking year go.

Just have to somehow survive Xmas...

And I need to get ordained in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Urgh. My "to do" list is pretty long...