... the hell did I just watch?

So I just finished the "Willow" series on Disney Plus.

I am unsure what the hell I've been watching for the last month or so.

Was this a comedy? A young adult romance thing? Was it intended to be a proper fantasy? Was it a bad music video? What the hell was this?

The series purports to be a sequel to the 1988 film. Sure, it has some of the cast but... uh... I'm really not sure anyone took time to figure out if there was supposed to be a connection. I mean sure, there's wizard guy in there, in the background, named Willow. He does magic, except when he doesn't. There's references to the movie. Kinda. In a poorly-written sort of way.

The Willow series is half-assed fan fiction of the movie as though written by some college students who did mushrooms while playing D&D and making out while high.

There's some cool villains built up in it. Fuck if I know what actually happens to most of them. I honestly think the main villains are whomever does the direction of the episodes. Good lord I've never seen such choppy scenes outside of some halfassed college productions. Disney, what the fuckity fuck were you thinking by putting this on your streaming site? And the writing... the scriptwriting is pretty much a crime against screenplays everywhere.

The series did actually a good job with the casting and the actors. I want to hate them. I really do. The writing makes the characters so unlikeable that I was hoping for an apocalyptic ending for the series, but the actors are really kinda good despite the shitacular writing and horrific direction.

There might be a sequel to this. I really sorta hope not, but if Disney dumps money into a season two for this show, I hope they immediately shitcan the directors, the writers, and whomever is in charge of the soundtrack.

Like shoot them. Not with bullets, but maybe a powerful stream of water? Piss? Something that'll stain? I dunno.

First off, do away with the rock music. It takes you out of what the hell you're watching, which given how bad that was isn't entirely a bad thing, but it doesn't help. Stick to the instrumental music, guys. Then find some scriptwriters who can stick to an actual solid theme instead of jumping all over the goddamn place. And, finally, find directors who don't mangle scenes to offer such a weird screen sausage of unsatisfying crap.

Ah, that felt good to write! Okay, after making myself watch all those episodes, I need to kill braincells...