I love tiki bars.
I love the kitch. I love the hokey music. I love the giant tikis. I love the fruit juice rum cocktails.
As such, I've visited a few in my time, in Hawai'i and on the mainland. The following the the "big three" I've visited in the San Francisco Bay Area and my thoughts on each:
Forbidden Island
Set on the island of Alameda, Forbidden Island is easy to miss if you're not paying attention. From the outside, it's an understated brown building, albeit one with a giant tiki set in an alcove by the main entrance with another on the inside.
Once you enter Forbidden Island, it quickly transforms into a marvel. It has a long bar with many seats set under a faux "grass hut" roof area. Set in a cork roof are hundreds of marked-up $1 bills set in place using cocktail umbrellas. This is in honor of a mariner tradition that's best explained by the staff.
The lighting is dim inside and there's stained wood paneling in a sort of faux "Robinson Crusoe" feel. Puffer-fish lamps, nets, Polynesian weapons, and kitchy paintings complete the decor. The staff wear obligatory Aloha shirts or tropical attire and there's always something on the television that fits the setting: Elvis's
Blue Hawaii, episodes of "Hawaii Five-0", episodes of "Gilligan's Island", etc.
They have a patio in back for smokers or folks who want to enjoy those all-too-brief hot days in Alameda.
The drinks are excellent. They offer a variety, ranging from rum drinks, gin cocktails, beer, and wine. They have a rum tasting club as well.
The food is largely of the snack variety. I'm personally fond of the spicy chicken tenders.
A nice quirk is how the menu is marked. Each drink entry has a number of bottles next to it. That's the strength of the drink. And pay close attention, especially if you're thinking of getting a Zombie.
Smugglers Cove
Set in San Francisco, on the edge of the Hayes Valley neighborhood (I think?), Smugglers Cove is also unobtrusive on the outside. Within, the interior is similar to that of Forbidden Island with the decor. Instead of one level, Smugglers Cove has three levels. There is an upper level set in a faux grass hut that is entirely seating. The entry level has a small bar with a few seats and in the lower level there is a second bar with a few seats before it and more seating in an open area. There is no outdoor seating.
As I understand it, Smugglers Cove was created by the founder (or one of the founders) of Forbidden Island who struck it out on his own. The decor in Smugglers Cove has triva I personally found fascinating. There's menus for old, long-gone tiki bars from long before I was born, such as Skipper Kent's.
The drinks at Smugglers Cove are excellent. Sublime. Divine. They don't serve food. Their only flaw is the layout of their bars. They're small and can only handle one (maybe two) bartenders behind each. Each drink is hand-made and that place gets
crowded so you may be a long wait between drinks...
Tonga Room
Set in the Fairmont Hotel, the Tonga Room is a San Francisco tradition and has been around for ages. I visited it for the first time this weekend for a quick drop-by to see what the fuss was all about. The decor is cheesy and awesome with giant tikis, dim lighting (though better-lit than Forbidden Island or Smugglers Cove). The staff were friendly and attentive. The prices... ye gods.
The Mai Tai Test
So my baseline comparison for drink quality is to use a classic Mai Tai. The Mai Tai is a big deal in my family. My dad has taught me how to make one the old Trader Vic's way as well as to be aware of the variations. As such, I've had a Mai Tai at Forbidden Island, Smugglers Cove, and Tonga Room. My thoughts:
- Forbidden Island: The classic Mai Tai is a delight. It's wavered a little in quality over the years, but generally stayed solid. Last time I had one at Forbidden Island, it was excellent. The cost is about $10. I've watched the bartenders making the drink and they do it right: adding the liquor and juices indvidually to make the drink properly. These folks know what they're doing.
- Smugglers Cove: The classic Mai Tai is excellent. The logistics for getting to the Cove have made my visits there less-frequent, despite the ease of public transportation. I can't recall the cost offhand but I think it was about $11, give or take. I watched the bartender make mine fresh and it was divine.
- Tonga Room: Despite a recent article I read that Tonga Room is shifting away from mixers to fresh ingredients, I found my Tonga Room Mai Tai to be disappointing. It was $13, too sweet, and made clearly with a mixer.
All said, I'd have to rate Forbidden Island as my favorite of the three. It's hard to get to without a car (Alameda is not well-known for their public transportation) but worth the trek. The location has capacity for a lot of people and they have lots of staff. Smugglers Cove is great but their space isn't terribly well-suited to the sorts of crowds they get. I find myself frustrated with the wait for drinks. Tonga Room is overrated. Period.
