Strawberries

Strawberries from Rowan Spiers-Floyd on Vimeo.

Do not mess with the little girl.

Review: "14" by Peter Clives

Every now and again, someone blindsides me with a recommendation. I get exposed to a book that really takes root in my psyche and burrows into my imagination. It messes with my mind to the point where I walk around in the real world and I think about the book to a point where I wonder what life would be like if the book were real and the circumstances part of my everyday life.

"14" was recommended by a friend and I picked it up off of Amazon in a glut of purchases for my BART commute.

I wasn't sure what to expect with it, so I let it sit for about a week then took it on BART one morning.

I think I managed to stretch it out four days.

And that was a struggle.

So "14" is... um... hm. One review I read suggested it has a lot in common with "Lost" (when "Lost" was good). That's a fair representation.

If "Lost" had been set in a Los Angeles apartment building instead of a desert island, it would share a lot with "14". If it had a torrid affair with H.P. Lovecraft's works, that would fit too.

Where it differs is that "Lost" got... um... lost... in its own mythology and mystery. "14" doesn't have that problem. From the get-go, Peter Clives knows where the story is going and just what the mystery is.

"14" is the story of a number of people living in an apartment building that's got cheap rent and a number of oddities. Several of the rooms are quite odd. A few are padlocked shut. The landlord is uncommunicative on just who owns the building and it's got some seriously-weird pests.

One of the tenants, an everyday guy in a dead-end job, starts poking around and, in the process, befriends his neighbors.

And then things get weird.

And then things go horribly, horribly wrong.

"14" is the sort of book that I kind of want to see as a well-done mini-series on TV. And by "on TV", I mean by a network that has a lot of flexibility, like HBO, or by an alternate offering like Netflix.

It's a riveting story, and I really hate using "riveting" in a sentence. I highly recommend it if you like contemporary thrillers with really weird stuff going on.

Folks who like Atomic Robo will find a few things to enjoy about "14" as well.

Review: "Ruin" by John Gwynne

Recently I finished "Ruin", the third in John Gwynne's series about a pseudo-Celtic fantasy world facing their own flavor of Revelations.

The previous books, "Malice" and "Honor" were brilliant stuff with a slow build-up to a terrible battle. "Ruin" is book three of that four-part series.

And it's kinda fucked-up.

Don't get me wrong: "Ruin" is a solid read. If you read "Malice" and "Honor", you'll likely enjoy "Ruin". It's got much of the same sense of heroics, epic good, epic evil, fantastic turns of fortune, and a brutality that would make George R.R. Martin sit back and grin.

With "Ruin", we continue the story of Corban, the fated "Bright Star", a hero destined to fight the forces of darkness, especially the dark champion known as the Dark Sun.

At the end of "Honor", we learn who the Black Sun is and that lucky sap also learns the terrible truth. Meanwhile, the bad guys have severely-flanked the good guys and evil seems to be winning.

I'd like to say things get better in "Ruin", but that would be a lie. It's a brutal story and things are looking bleak for those few still alive at the end. Gwynne went in directions I have to admit I didn't expect.

Part of me is really happy with that. The other part of me is kind of pissed.

Looks like I won't see a conclusion to this until July of next year. I'm kind of sitting on the edge of whether or not I like this series at this point. It really depends on where the last book goes, I guess.

I've enjoyed it, but I also enjoyed Anthony Ryan's series until "Queen of Fire" killed my interest.

Overall, I'm personally going to recommend "Ruin", but only if you liked the previous two books.

Sharp Things: DPx HEST/F Grey Niolox

DPx HEST/F Grey Niolox. That's a hell of a name to try to write.

So I previously mentioned a DPx Gear knife I'd obtained - the Aculus. I frothed at the mouth over it and all that.

My love for the Aculus has not dimmed but a combination of events took me back to the DPx site where I browsed a bit. Then I stumbled across the HEST line of knives.

Long story short, I made another purchase. Yup. I got myself the fun-to-type DPx HEST/F Grey Niolox.

The Niolox is a lovely little knife. Great opening action with a sharp blade that's small enough to not upset too many people and still be a useful tool. It's got an interesting notch on the outside that can serve as a bottle opener (BONUS!). There's a 1/4" hex socket driver (no bit included) in the handle along with wire-strippers on the thumb grip (not something I can see myself needing but...) and finally a tungsten carbide glass breaker on the end.

The grip is comfortable and has a belt clip that allows for a deep carry in the pocket.

Yeah, I have a new favorite.

Review: "Hell Bent"

And we come to the conclusion of Series Nine of the new Doctor Who series.

Spoilers follow.















































Still there? You were warned.






The episode starts off with the Doctor, sporting an electric guitar, going into a Nevada diner. Clara is working there as a waitress. She doesn't appear to know who the Doctor is. The Doctor settles in to tell a story about a woman named Clara.

Then we have our scene readjusted. The Doctor is now back on Gallifrey after a few billion years punching his way through diamond. He walks to an old farmhouse in the middle of the Gallifreyan desert (aren't there any plants on this planet?) and chills out. Some matronly woman comes in blathering and stops to gape at the Doctor. It seems this is the farmhouse the Doctor used to chill out in as a kid.

Okay.

So the High Council of Time Lords knows the Doctor's about and the Sisterhood of Karn has somehow dropped in for a visit (because they apparently both know how to find Gallifrey and can travel in time and space but conveniently never told the Doctor where Gallifrey was 'cause... okay moving on). The Lord President Rassilon (now regenerated into a crusty old guy) sends forces to retrieve the Doctor. First it's troopers in hover vehicles. Then it's other Time Lords. Then it's Rassilon himself.

Rassilon and the Doctor have a bit of "whose is bigger" posing. Then Rassilon tells his troops to kill the Doctor. They all refuse and drop their weapons. The Doctor then performs a coup and banishes Rassilon from Gallifrey at the end of the universe (as that's where Gallifrey is hiding because... um... reasons).

The Doctor then starts doing a bit of housecleaning on Gallifrey. Rassilon and his lot were after the Doctor for information on the Hybrid and the Doctor just refused to give away that tidbit (and we never really get a definitive answer as to what the Hybrid is).

The Doctor uses Gallifrey's resources to snatch Clara out of time from the moment before she dies. She's frozen in a moment, with no heartbeat, but can still talk, walk, breathe, etc. Because reasons.

The Doctor then snags a gun, shoots one of the senior Time Lords, and flees with Clara.

It seems if they don't put Clara back into her timeline to die, the universe will unravel.

The Doctor flees into the Cloisters, where there's these cool "Cloister Wraiths" hanging about. He talks to Clara about how he was a young Time Lord and snuck in to the Cloisters where he learned about the Hybrid, then went a bit mad and fled Gallifrey.

The Time Lords and the Sisterhood pursue the Doctor and Clara into the Cloister. There's a bit of nonsensical posturing (with the Time Lords and Sisterhood essentially calling the Doctor an irresponsible fool) then the Doctor sneaks away, steals another TARDIS, grabs Clara, and flees.

There's a cool moment in which we see a re-done version of the First Doctor's classic TARDIS, complete with a working Chameleon Circuit.

The Doctor voices his plan to Clara to hide her and use a device to help her. The TARDIS stops and there's four knocks at the door at the hidden point at the end of the universe (where the Doctor seems to like to hang out a lot). Ashildr/Me is there, of course. She lectures the Doctor a bit, implying the Doctor is the Hybrid and may be half-human (a concept first introduced in the horrible 1996 Fox TV movie). Nevermind that the Doctor said at the end of Heaven Sent that he was the Hybrid. Whatever.

So the Doctor explains he intends to wipe Clara's memories of him so he can hide her. Clara, in the meantime, has turned on the TARDIS monitor and heard the whole thing.

Cue the three of them in this new TARDIS. Clara claims to have re-adjusted the mind-wiping device so it will wipe the Doctor's memories and that her past is her own.

The Doctor and Clara then cue the device together and the Doctor's memories of Clara are wiped.

Cue back to the diner. The diner is actually the stolen TARDIS. Clara and Ashildr have swiped it to jaunt across the Universe. The Doctor is returned to his TARDIS, gets a new coat, a new sonic screwdriver, and is off.

Yeah. So an entertaining story with a lot of nonsense and unanswered questions, such as:

• The Doctor apparently fled Gallifrey when he was very young, but he had a granddaughter. So... um... how does that jibe with the being "young" thing? Just a teen pregnancy thing?
• How the hell is the Sisterhood of Karn bopping about?
• Why were the Sisterhood able to give orders at the end? Hell, why were they there at all?
• Why the the neural-brain-zapper thing work on the Doctor when they made a big deal about it being "calibrated for humans"? The Doctor is not human, as the series has claimed endlessly.
• WTF was up with all that Hybrid nonsense?
• The Time Lords can manipulate time and space. Why were they hiding at the end of the Universe? Why were they hiding at all?
• Seriously, why are the Time Lords the loathed bad guys from the Time War but the Daleks are popping about and nobody seems to care?
• How were Ashildr and Clara able to read the TARDIS manual instructions if they were in Gallifreyan? The show has actually stated that one cannot properly run a TARDIS unless one is a Time Lord. There's a whole genetic thing. So how are they operating it at all?

I'm ready for Moffatt to stop running this show. I'm also hoping that one day they'll get coherent writers back.

EDIT: So I've had more time to ponder. Some things stick out in my mind.
Pros:

• Classic TARDIS.
• Resolution to Rassilon.
• We have the Time Lords back.
• Cloister Wraiths.
• New sonic screwdriver (I'm a sucker for toy-fodder).
• Diner TARDIS.

Cons:

• The Dickensian Gallifreyans at the old farm. WTF?
• Ashildr/Me. She was an unnecessary afterthought in this episode and, honestly, didn't have much of a part to play a couple of eps back when Clara died.
• The resolution of Clara. Why? Just... why? I mean, if her existence is threatening to tear the universe apart, it's clearly not happening so... um... why?
• The Doctor shooting the General, forcing a regeneration. That felt unnecessary and more than a lot stupid.
• The entire "Hybrid" thing. Like the entirety of Clara, the Hybrid story was incoherent and never really made any sense.

Review: The "Man Ring 2.0"

So I've mentioned "The Man Ring" (titanium utility ring) before. It's been a fixture on my hand for the last couple of years without fail. I've taken it overseas and every other damn place. And looooooved it.

Not too long ago, I learned that Boone Titanium Rings came out with a version 2 of their "Man Ring". After looking over the site, I just had to have it.

My V2.0 ring arrived the day after Thanksgiving, lifting my spirits as I lounged about my apartment, coughing up a lung and otherwise being a vector of terrible disease.

I have to say, the folks at Boone Titanium Rings really did a great job upgrading this.

The V2.0 ring boasts of fewer bits that fold out, but those that do are better-situated to work as advertised.

Instead of six little tools that fold out from the V1.0 ring, the V2.0 ring has four parts: a tiny blade (made of titanium, so not super-sharp, but good enough to open a box), a tiny comb, and two tiny saws with slightly different tooth arrangements. All of the tools extend out a good 270 degrees from closed instead of 90 degrees in the V1.0 ring, making them a bit more practical (such as tiny tools are ever practical). And when you pull all the little tool bits open, you have a little claw-like indentation in the ring's body that is a very practical bottle opener.

I look forward to my recovery so I can practice opening a beer with the new toy.

The V2.0 ring is a bit more slender than the V1.0 ring and the indentation for the bottle opener calls more attention to the tools, making them somewhat less-discrete when closed, but it's hardly an issue.

The "Man Ring 2.0" is awesome. I am giddy.

Review: "Heaven Sent"

When we last left the Doctor, something terrible had happened. Just as he has a moment to posture and pose, he's teleported...

And we get to "Heaven Sent". Spoilers.

















































You were warned.









The Doctor appears in a chamber just after some hapless, smouldering bloke collapses to the ground and turns to ash, leaving a single word drawn in the dust: "Bird".

The Doctor finds himself in a strange castle surrounded by a seemingly endless sea. In most of the chambers of the castle is a monitor. From the monitor, the Doctor can see the castle from the perspective of the other inhabitant: a shambling, shrouded, fly-encrusted creature with claw-like hands that slowly, inexorably follows him. It's conjured from his darkest nightmares so he's got good reason to haul ass and get away from it.

After some cat-and-mouse, he learns that he can make the creature freeze by confessing a secret.

The Doctor quickly divines that he's being interrogated. After an involved internal lecture to the now-deceased Clara, he puzzles his way through to the exit from the chamber: a wall of some diamond-like substance. To open it, he simply must confess his arbitrary dark secret of the season, what he knows of "the Hybrid."

If you haven't been paying attention, "the Hybrid" is the Moffant McGuffin of the season. Some kind of creature, presumed to be half Time Lord and half Dalek that will destroy Gallifrey or something.

You know? Don't ask. It's a Moffatt thing and is probably best ignored.

Anyway, the Doctor refuses to reveal the whole Hybrid thing (or admit it's really about these fancy cars he developed on Earth or something). He lets the creature kill him but he doesn't die immediately. He slowly dies and claws his way back to the teleport chamber. He figures out the teleport thingie has a backup of him somewhere. He does Doctor-finagling and reboots himself by vaporizing himself, which is how the episode started.

Turns out that "Bird" refers to the story of the bird that pecked its way through a mountain or something similarly-silly. The comparison here is that the Doctor is slowly, one incarnation at at a time, punching his way through the super-diamond wall somehow over a billion years or two.

Yeah.

Okay, so he finally gets through. The creature disintegrates as the door is open and the Doctor exits to find out he was in his Confession Dial, the other McGuffin thingie that's been a season-theme.

And he's popped out on Gallifrey.

Oh, and he claims he's the Hybrid.

So... yeah. As an exercise in watching Capaldi do his thing, I enjoyed the episode. I can gloss over the logistical issues of flesh-and-blood eventually punching through a wall harder than diamond. He's a Time Lord. Whatever works.

Overall, I'm super-tired of these ridiculous and stupid story arcs that Moffatt dreams up. The whole constant deconstruction of the Doctor thing he does really poisons the show for me.

And I'd be willing to deal with it if his deconstructions weren't such utter rubbish.

This whole Hybrid thing came out of nowhere and is just very... um... stupid.

I mean, if you're going to deal with why the Doctor left Gallifrey, it seems to me anyone who has watched the show would take cues from the very beginning of the show.

The Doctor and his granddaughter, Susan, stole a TARDIS (she claimed to have created the name, so arrogance runs in the family, I expect). It's implied they fled some trouble from their home but it wasn't explored until much later. Largely 'cause they didn't have a concept of Time Lords until the Second Doctor's era.

So, back to history: why make up arbitrary bullshit reasons for the Doctor's exit? We know he had at least one child, and presumably a spouse. It's been stated that he's lost family - presumably all of them - at some point. If he was popping off with his granddaughter, one can assume his children, and probably his spouse, were dead.

Instead of going into ridiculous prophesies, why not simply explore how his spouse and children died? Why did the Doctor skip off Gallifrey with his granddaughter instead of just raising her on their homeworld?

Given that the Doctor was in his first incarnation when he skipped out, and how long Time Lords live, I'm curious how he had grandchildren. He must've been a horn-dog by Time Lord standards, but that's neither here nor there.

Oh well. Next week is the end of another lackluster season of Moffatt's reign. Sigh.