An open letter to Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

Please take your plant bukakke and stick it somewhere. Somewhere else! I'm getting a bit tired of your plant sperm making me feel as though I've got a recurring case of the flu.

Yes, I realize the human race is doing terrible things to heat up the planet and all that.

That's no excuse for letting your plant life get all orgy-porno.

Miserably yours,

Me