An Open Letter to Apple

Dear Apple,

Thank you so much for the iOS 5.0.1 update that has utterly obliterated the battery life on my iTouch. The device was working perfectly and without any issues (rare for the electronics in my life) until yesterday's update.

And your update has fucked that utterly. Thanks so very much.

May pestilence infest every aspect of your lives and fire burn the rest, you miserable, ratfuck bastards.

Why, no. I'm not bitter. Why do you ask?

Assholes.

Sincerely,

Me.