A bright note as the year winds down

I searched in vain for much of yesterday as I was fighting a bug. I sought to satisfy my craving for Calicraft Oaktown Brown.

Everywhere I went, it was sold out.

While shopping for groceries today, I did a detour past a sketchy liquor store I rarely go in.

And lo: they had it. They had a healthy number of bottles.

I just had a bottle with dinner (ill-advised as I'm still struggling not to succumb to a cold, but whatever).

Now I have to decide if I'm going to tough out the next four hours and toast 2017 with some High West Campfire or call it early with Nyquil.

Decisions, decisions....

Fuck the hell off 2016

2016 was a shit year.

Let's just get that out there.

Personally, the year started with a bang and just kept going.

At this time last year, the first cracks were forming in my workplace. By the end of the first quarter, my office was in chaos. Bad decisions seemed to rule the day and people I worked with were moving on.

And as I attempted to do the same, I learned a bitter truth: that I am not really prepared to shine in a crowded labor market.

That was a goddamn hard lesson. When I used to take karate, we used to have a saying: "I will train with the spirit of humility." Martial arts did a lot to drum humility into parts of my life. As I look back on 2016, I see that the chaos of earlier in the year was simply more of the same. They were lessons in humility. Lessons, I'm sad to say, I haven't yet learned enough from. I know where my weaknesses lie, but have yet to take proper steps to address them.

I guess I have a goal in 2017.

2016 simultaneously hit me with a family crisis. There was a fair chance I was going to lose a parent. The thought of that terrified me.

Still does, honestly.

I realized I'm one day going to lose the people I care most about. And I'm really not ready.

Everything turned out okay. There will be a next time, though. And one of these days I'm going to have to deal with it.

In 2016, a number of my dearest friends lost someone close. I watched how they handled their loss and found myself humbled by how strong they all are. I sure as hell don't think I'll be able to handle it like they have.

2016 was a hellish year politically. Watching Trump get elected was like living through a reading of "It Can't Happen Here" by Sinclair Lewis. I'm glad I don't have kids.

It was a year where I look back and realize a lot of things I thought mattered to me that really don't. It's sort of left me feeling a bit lost, like I'm just going through the motions of my life. I'm not sure what I want. I'm not sure what I want to do next. I'm kind of hearing a Vorlon asking me: "Who are you? What do you want?" and I don't have any answers. (Raise your hand if you got that reference. If you do, put a white star on your geek card.)



2016 wasn't all bad. My office did course-corrections that I have benefitted from.

I've made new friendships. I've read new books. I've enjoyed some travel, both to distant places I know and not-so-distant places that are new to me.

I've attended, and semi-officiated, a quasi-wedding.

It's an indicator of how odd my life is that I can make that last statement.



Earlier today I bought some groceries. I had a chat with the clerk about New Year's resolutions.

"I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore," I said.

I don't. They're a waste of time. Intentions are nice. Actions are better. I'm rubbish at follow-through. My goal for 2017 is to get better at follow-through and get shit actually done.



I'm not sure I'm ready for 2017. I'm not sure anyone is. Still, it's coming and there's not fuck-all anyone can do about it but suck it up and be ready to take it as it comes. Some of it will be good. Some of it will be bad. The only thing I will truly control is how I deal with what comes.

Closing in

Had drinks and Zachary's Pizza with a buddy last night.

I think I'm paying the price today. Not a hangover. No, that would be too appropriate. No, it's sinuses and a scratchy throat. Yeah, I think I'm fighting a cold.

A fluke of luck has the party I was to go to get cancelled due to illness. I'm going to take advantage of this down time to crash early tonight with a Nyquil cocktail.

Four days and counting

Ah 2016. You just can't stop being a rancid pustule of terrible, can you?

Carrie Fisher? Seriously? We've lost Princess Leia all-too-soon.

And we've got four days left. Lovely.

Part of me can't wait for this year to end. The rest of me is terrified what 2017 will bring.

Punchy on Boxing Day

Aaaah... vacation.

What have I done today?

Hm. I've:

• Re-watched The Return of the Jedi. Again. It really doesn't stand up to repeat-views.
• Made pasta sauce.
• Eaten Thai food.
• Spent far too much time on the Internet.
• Spent far too much time on laundry.
• Made pasta noodles.
• Enjoyed a glass of High West Campfire that was probably a little more full than it ought to be.

Looking back, not a terribly productive day. I meant to go jogging, but it's goddamn cold outside and I'm feeling simultaneously wimpy and whiny. Also I think I'm fighting a cold. I'm sure the whiskey will help with that.

In fairness, I thought the Thai food was going to help with that too. Get some spicy Pad Kee Mau and watch the germs flee in terror from hot peppers.

I'm sure there's valid science there. Then again, I have had a lot of whiskey.

If I have my druthers, I may actually do some housecleaning tomorrow.

WTF are "druthers" anyway? Google says "a person's preference in a matter.". WTF?

English is a goddamn weird language.

Noodly Xmas

Been a nice Xmas. Fun time with the family. Lots of food. Lots of drink. Lots of loot. Spent a chunk of the 23rd watching Star Wars IV: A New Hope. Spent part of Xmas Eve watching Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back. Just spent part of today watching Star Wars VI: The Return of the Jedi. God, I hate Ewoks.

Still, I have to credit Rogue One with putting me in the mood to watch all the classics again, albeit remastered.

When not doing that, it's been a relaxing afternoon of sampling whiskey, setting up my new computer monitor, resetting my fussy router, and having more whiskey.

Finished "Good Intentions" by Elliot Kay. I can see a lot of "Poor Man's War" in his more steamy series about everyday Alex who winds up bound to a succubus and an angel. Entertaining reading. Now I'm going to focus on finishing up "Wrath" by John Gwynne before jaunting off to the next book in the pile.

And I think I'm seriously going to look into getting a new bookshelf.

Review: "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story"

Full disclosure: I went into Rogue One expecting to hate it.

I hate prequels, as a rule. They're lazy storytelling. I saw the trailers and teasers and thought "this is just Disney trying to squeeze money from me."

I'm not wrong, but damn was it worth it.

Saw Rogue One: A Star Wars Story last night. I walked out of that theater thinking "fucking hell that was enjoyable."

Set just before the events of Star Wars IV: A New Hope (the original, to us old folks), it tells the story of how the rebels got the plans to the Death Star.

This wasn't a story I needed told, truth be told. I never cared how the rebels got the plans. Having seen it, I still don't care all that much.

No, what I took away from Rogue One was an appreciation for the average member of the Rebellion and the effort to widen the Star Wars universe.

The problem George Lucas ran into with his horribly-written prequels was the shrinking of his rich and interesting Star Wars universe. There was no need for Tatooine to figure into Episode 1: the most pointless movie ever, as an example. The prequels suffered horribly from too much self-referential garbage in addition to the bad direction and horrible writing.

Rogue One isn't any kind of repository of Oscar-winning acting, but it does a solid job of expanding the Star Wars universe through the eyes of people who aren't Jedi or similar wonks.

It did a solid job of telling a story of everyday people who tried to fight the power and, ultimately, succeeded despite a horrible price.

There weren't Jedi in it. There was one Sith who was in the film for maybe ten minutes max.

Ten minutes of "holy shit what the fuck!" awesome.

The people I saw the film with had their own favorites among the cast of Rogue One. I'm going to go with "all of them" as my answer. I was down with the heroine, the morally-ambiguous Rebel intelligence agent, the reprogrammed snarky Imperial droid, the defecting Imperial pilot, the blind temple guardian (Donnie Yen!), and the surly dude with the rapid-fire blaster. I never really learned any of their names. I don't really care what their names were. They were entertaining. Their story was no more or less coherent than the main Star Wars movies. There were heroics, space battles, good guys, bad guys, and lots of shit getting blown the hell up.

And there was digital necromancy that creeped me out while making me cheer.

I enjoyed Rogue One: A Star Wars Story despite my best efforts. At the end, the only thing I can really fault it for is the music. Michael Giacchino (or however his name is spelled) is really not the guy to be scoring these flicks. I wish they'd gotten John Williams on-board. But such is life.

That was a fun flick. Hopefully the other spinoffs will be as solid.