Saturday, July 31, 2010

Adventure

Lessons learned yesterday:

1) If a restaurant's garlic fries are not so much filled with garlic, they're probably not going to have much worth eating.

2) Questionable coffee shops should be left alone.

3) If you've been wearing contacts for over 14 hours, bring a damn case and cleaning solution for them.

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Life lessons implemented yesterday:

1) Braking distance.

2) Sticking to cash on hand.

3) Allowing for enough time to get from point A to point B.

Friday, July 30, 2010

How I Know I'm Going To Hell

Conversation:

Speaker One: "So did Jesus wash away your sins?"

Speaker Two: "No, but he did make a very inappropriate offer regarding a spongebath."

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The tiiiiiiiny bits of lapsed Catholic in me are scolding me for laughing at this. The rest are just staying warm.

Yet Another Definition

Entitlement - the belief that strippers should be slipping twenty-dollar-bills into your pants while they dance for you.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, mind you...

Thursday, July 29, 2010

This day ROCKS!

Bakesale Betty sandwich with the Veeb to celebrate my work evaluation. And now...the Gear ring is returned to me!

OH HAPPY DAY!!!

Another Definition

To "do a Ripley" - To: Dust off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. In other words to wipe out what was once there and bring everything to a nice, clean slate.

If your definition of "clean" is "glowing, giant crater", that is.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Definition

Epiphany - the moment when you realize you can apply the following saying to your life:

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

Whee

The folks of The Guild do a masterful job of arful geek humor.

Their first video, "Do You Want to Date My Avatar", was freakin' genius.

They've outdone themselves with the second video "Game On" (embedded in a previous post), done Bollywood style.

I still collapse into hysterical laughter when Vork comes on the scene in his jacket and sunglasses.